WHEN YOU ARE ABOUT TO GIVE UP | POWERFUL Motivational Video Speech Compilation
what would you do if you knew you
couldn’t fail how big would you play if
you knew that you can survive any
heartbreak any breakdown any betrayal
what would you do if the things that
you’re afraid of you knew we’re
absolutely nothing they were all
opportunities for you to get stronger in
your faith stronger in your resiliency
what would you do
who would you love how big would you
play where would you leap and the bigger
question is how would the world benefit
differently how would the world benefit
differently because who you decided to
be how would the world be a better place
to live because fear didn’t have you
standing on the edge what would you do
if you were told that you get to do it
afraid that you don’t have to wait for
the fear to leave that when you get an
action the fear has to dissipate into
the nothingness that it always was what
would you do how would life be different
how would the world be a better place to
live
I came to challenge you to play in the
biggest field you’ve ever played in I
came for you to challenge the fear that
might be inside of you and to redesign
and reprogram it you look at it long
enough you be with it intimately enough
and it has to dissipate you are the
designer of your destiny you are the
author of your autobiography you write
the story of your life no one can write
your financial story no one can write
your spiritual story no one can write
your emotional story but you the pen has
always been in your hand the pen has
always been in your hand I say write a
story that’s gonna be damn good to read
and when you do that you will have to
reprogram the fibers of your being you
will have to be calm
someone you’ve never been before you
want to go somewhere you’ve never gone
you got to do something you’ve never
done you gotta say something you never
said you gotta go to a place in you that
you’ve never even been you get to
redesign you are your Michelangelo you
are your greatest sculpture and you get
to wreak are and you get to uplevel as
much as you need you’re not sentenced to
this life this way you chose it
newsflash
you get to design it any way you choose
you’re not sentenced to your future you
have an opportunity to your future what
do you want and how do you want it and
if it doesn’t make you a little afraid
then you ain’t playing big enough your
knees are supposed to knock a little bit
your teeth dispose of chatter a little
bit this was be at least two butterflies
in your stomach at least because if not
you’re playing inside your comfort zone
and we mistake the fact that we’re
supposed to be comfortable 24/7 well let
me tell you something comfortable as
equivalent to complacent out shoes
inconvenience every day any day to make
a difference on the planet I don’t mind
being mildly to moderately to
significantly inconvenience to leave my
fingerprint on this planet so I just
came to talk to the game changes and to
the change agents who are willing to
confront any part of you that’s not
speaking to your madly wildly amazing
future confronted I came to talk to the
change agents that are interested in in
evicting any fear that doesn’t speak to
your wild future I just can’t I came for
that I came for you to confront it for
you to get a little angry at it for you
to get a little pissed off and say wait
a minute
I’ve been letting you drive me all this
time and you are a story that I made up
about the future that doesn’t even
really exist when you said I might get
hurt in the next relationship you made
up a story
about the future that doesn’t even exist
yet and you’re powerful in any story you
make up it’s true to you but it’s only
true to you and then you live out that
story because you want to be right you
don’t want to be wrong you want to be
right so you make up a story you protect
projected in the future and then you
live it out until it’s true like to see
I told you guys I told you guys you’ll
like work really hard to make that story
right I just what you know that so I
just stopped by to invite you to design
a new story I stopped by to remind you
that the pen has always been in your
hand that no one else can write your
story but you and I don’t know about you
but I want to write a story that when I
get ready to sit down in my final years
and there’s nothing else I could do that
I’d go back and I just want to read my
story I go wow I remember when I was
afraid and then I know on the next page
I jumped anyway and then I read the next
chapter the wall that really scared the
heck out of me and I know what’s gonna
happen on next page I did it anyway
I want to write a story full of leaping
and running and jumping and serving and
playing full-out
and falling and skinning my knees and
scraping my face and hurting my heart
because if that’s the only way I can
hurt and fall and scrape is to play full
out then I’ll take the hurt because what
I’m really afraid of and what you’re
really afraid of is getting to the end
of your day to the end of your life and
having something left to give
to live a bullet-proof life is to make
the choice to keep your power and to not
be in reaction to things that happen to
us to have a bulletproof life is to
really be clear that it’s your choice to
react it’s your choice to give your
power away I never saw it that way I
never imagined that me being mad at
somebody or me taking something personal
or me being upset about something or me
being stressed out that I was giving my
power away we give our energy away when
we get upset and by learning some
strategies to not give your energy away
and keeping your power then you’re
empowered and then I save a bullet-proof
life the first thing that’s gonna allow
me to keep my power is my purpose living
my purpose knowing what my purpose is
and you have a purpose and the purpose
could be as simple as love which by the
way Viktor Frankl in his book and I
recommend this book man’s search for
meaning talks about that love is the
most powerful purpose we can have and so
when you are grounded in your purpose
you can’t be knocked down
number two is responsibility but we
don’t realize that responsibility is
also interpretation interpretation how I
choose to interpret I am responsible
from
for example if my girlfriend breaks up
with me that’s a fact where I go with
that is an interpretation if I go to I
can’t trust women I’m worthless I’m not
meant to be in a relationship it wasn’t
designed this way etc etc those are
interpretations or I can look at it from
another interpretation if I’m
responsible you know what her path is
led her into that direction I’m trusting
that that’s her choice I respect her
choice I matter I’m beautiful I could
still trust people yeah this is gonna
make me stronger this is an opportunity
this is a gift you know it’s all how I
choose to see it and based on how you
interpret feelings follow then your body
reacts to your feelings and then you
interpret that in a negative way
feelings follow body interpretation and
all of a sudden you have a vicious cycle
of reaction you’re in traffic you could
interpret it like you’re stressed out
you hate traffic you hate people you
become a monster some people change
personalities in traffic that’s just
screaming and that’s where all swearing
and your a heart attack waiting to
happen because by reacting what do I do
give my power away which takes me away
from a bulletproof life so when you take
responsibility for how you interpret
something and how you choose to see
something that shifts your energy that
shifts your joy that shifts how you
approach things
number three trust the process what
you’re going through is temporary and
that what’s permanent is
how you feel what’s permanent is your
attitude even if it never changes even
if your health never changes
you could still be joyful you could
still be happy you could still be
blessed and and you have more of a
probability of it shifting by shifting
your attitude and by trusting it the
process because when you don’t trust
something you resist it
and when you resist something we talked
about in the resistance episode you give
it the power you give it the energy
you’re giving energy to a negative
situation fears the expectation that the
worse is going to happen
faith is to knowing that everything is
going to work out number four is
confront whatever is stopping you from a
bulletproof life don’t avoid it don’t be
afraid to confront something confront
means have the conversation you need to
have whether it’s with yourself with
your spouse with the people around you
be willing to tell the truth when you
don’t tell the truth you’re in
resistance you’re choosing a negative
interpretation and you’re not applying
to probably principle and one way to do
that tangible look at your results look
at your financial results as all don’t
lie results don’t lie look at the
results you have in your friendships and
your relationship the results of your
health or weight your body financial
take inventory and one way to take
inventory very simple on a scale of one
to ten where is my health Step five is
integrity we take our foot off the gas
and keeping our agreements keeping our
word keeping our promises and the
biggest thing I’ve noticed is that the
more power people have the more excuses
and the more justifications they have to
not under the word integrity is about
being whole and complete
it’s about being one with what I
communicate what I do and when I create
step six
it’s expand your comfort zone
challenging my limiting beliefs
challenging the I can’t do that I could
never do that that oh that’s too big for
me and there’s something I read years
ago from a friend of mine named Maria
Medina who’s a Latina superstar and she
wrote a book called if you expect more
you’ll get more and if you expect little
you get little so number one purpose
number two responsibility and
interpretation right number three trust
the process
number four confront number five
integrity number six expand your comfort
zone and number seven enthusiasm live
life with passion and enthusiasm and put
passion into everything that you do
enthusiasm in the break downs enthusiasm
and the breakthroughs enthusiasm and
everything that you do and that
enthusiasm is infectious and that’s
contagious and people want to be a part
of it I think that the first thing that
goes out the window or in a breakdown or
in a situations or enthusiam
because our fear kicks in and you know
we start having dark conversations can
you think of anything that happened in
your life that at the time it happened
you thought this is terrible but you can
now look back upon it and say gee that
was actually pretty good so if something
happened to you in the past that at the
time it happened you thought was
terrible but you can now look back and
say it is actually pretty good why are
you in a hurry to label anything that
happens now bad is there any possible
way in which in X years it could turn
out to be pretty good just pausing to
consider that question will take you to
a different emotional domain and if you
then take the next step and say is there
anything I can do to make that happen
you move into a realm of possibility and
courses of action will open up to you
that you never would have considered
before we from a very young age have
been taught to set goals and parents
teachers coaches all told us set a goal
for yourself and then come up with a
plan of action to achieve you go
all of the companies I work with have
goals in fact most of the companies I
work with no longer have goals they have
stretch goals
so we tend to live our lives in the
following fashion I set a goal for
myself I succeeded life’s a blast I set
a goal for myself I failed life sucks we
live in a sinusoidal curve oscillating
between elation and despair and we spend
altogether too much part-time at the
despair end of the spectrum it’s a
terrible way to live there is an
alternative an alternative is the
following
forget about the goal goals are
important but they are only important
because they set direction once the
direction has been set forget about the
goals don’t even think about them
instead for all of your emotional energy
into what do I have to accomplish what
do I have to do in order to achieve my
goal and pour your emotional energy into
that when you do that two things happen
you actually start enjoying the journey
the journey is the only thing they have
the destination is a mirage you get
there and then you’re off someplace else
people want to climb Mount Everest how
much time do you spend on top of Mount
Everest
a few minutes to a half-hour at most you
climb up there your buddy takes a
picture of you your buddy gets up there
you take a picture of him and then
you’re on your way down and I hope you
don’t get killed in an avalanche so if
you’re going to climb Mount Everest you
better enjoy the weeks and months of
acclimatization on Basecamp one base
camp to and on with it’s the journey is
the only thing you have and when you
invest in the process not the outcome
you enjoy the journey and paradoxically
the more you’re detached from the
outcome the higher the probability that
you will actually reach the goal you
wanted and if you reach the goal
wonderful if you do not reach the goal
wonderful the mistake that all of us
make that all of us buy into is that the
benefit of this approach is then we will
reach our goal the reason we try very
hard is so that we can reach our goals
and if we don’t succeed you know it’s be
screwed up it’s terrible
Falls remember what I said earlier you
do not have control over the outcome you
never had control you never will have
control the benefit of this approach is
the advantage for you the benefit you
get is the growth that happens when you
try your best to achieve the goal that
you set for yourself whether or not you
reach it really doesn’t matter you have
already benefited from the growth that
occurs in you as you go that is what we
miss out it’s not about achieving the
goal it’s about how you develop as a
person and grow as you try your level
best and you do that by investing in the
process not the outcome Einstein said
the most important decision you’ll ever
make is is the universe friendly most of
us believe that the universe is
indifferent to us it doesn’t know we
exist and couldn’t care less some of the
times it seems to be working for us some
of the times it seems to be working
against us some of the times it’s
actively working against us so if we are
driving and we’re late for an
appointment
it will arrange for a traffic jam and
for our air conditioning to break down
but what if that wasn’t true what if the
universe was actually benevolent what if
it not only knew you existed but was
well disposed towards you now friends
don’t shaft friends do they
now so if it was the benevolent universe
it actively gives you exactly what you
need for your growth it may not be what
you want but it is exactly what you need
just as if you’re a small child what you
want is a tub of ice cream and what your
parents give you are fruits and
vegetables you don’t want fruits and
vegetables you want ice cream and it’s
only when you have a much greater
maturity and understanding that you can
say thank God I got fruits and
vegetables and not ice cream one of the
universe was like that it gives you
stuff it’s not what you wanted you want
to get promoted you get a pink slip but
maybe what if this was exactly what you
needed at this stage regardless of
whether or not the universe is
benevolent if you believe the universe
was benevolent your life would improve
dramatically now just because you
recognize that a model is intellectually
superior doesn’t necessarily mean that
you can adopt it but you can work
towards it and one of the quickest ways
to find out if the universe is
benevolent or not is look for evidence
that it is and the more you look the
more you will find
and eventually you will come to the
point where you will tip over and you
will believe the universe is benevolent
and when you do that you’ll be living in
a completely different emotional domain
so there was a young man who was growing
up to take his place
among the atoms of the tribe and the
final rite of passage was a conversation
that the medicine man and the medicine
man told him here is this dog loving
trustworthy kind intelligent and here is
this wolf melville and vicious cruel
ready to strike at anything and the dog
and the wolf are fighting and the dog
and the wolf are both inside you and the
brave oz which one will win and the
medicine man says whichever one you feed
now think about that this has a powerful
lesson for us inside each one of us is
an altruistic let me help my fellow man
and do what I can to make the world a
better place and inside each one of us
are let me grab everything I can for
myself and the devil take the hindmost
impulses and the two are always at war
with each other it is your job to
selectively identify and feed the dog in
you don’t make the mistake of thinking
you’re only gonna feed the dog that
ain’t gonna happen the best you can hope
for is that you’ll feed the dog a little
bit more than you
feed the wolf when you do that and the
dog becomes stronger it’s also your job
to selectively identify and feed the dog
and everybody you run into and when the
dog in you becomes friends with the dog
and the other person magic happens in
your life and in the world I think that
we’re actually animals that we have an
animal nature and that we have to become
human and we become human by overcoming
some of these deep-rooted animal forces
within us
these forces within us that we can’t
control such as the fact that we can’t
control our own emotions our own anger
our own frustration or if we feel Envy
or we’re caught up in the emotions of
other people I call those forces primal
forces human nature and they can create
sort of negative patterns of behavior
the dark side of what we see in the news
etc and we all have them ingrained in us
because with the way we evolved millions
of years ago served a very definite
purpose for our survival as a species
but the savannas of East Africa is not
the offices in Silicon Valley or a 21st
century America the world isn’t the same
we are not built to adapt to this new
technological environment we’re in we
still have that lizard brain those
animal parts of our nature so for
instance law number one is about how
we’re basically irrational creatures we
think that we’re rational but really our
emotions governess we feel something
before we ever have an idea of thinking
we have to become rational through this
process that I lay out in my book so I
don’t need to say that we’re negative
because humans are obviously incredible
look at what we’ve created and to
rageous if you think about who we were
millions of years ago where we are now
we’re obviously capable of incredible
achievements were also the most
brilliant social animal
we’re capable of cooperating and working
on teams to a level that no other animal
has ever reached so there’s obviously
another side to the story but to become
greater to become truly human we have to
overcome these forces that I lay out so
for instance we are built to constantly
compare ourselves to other people we’re
always thinking of what the other person
has and how we are in relation to them
are we getting as much attention as that
other person to start off when we were
children are we getting more attention
than our siblings from our parents so
we’re continually comparing ourselves in
rank and power and status to the people
around us and this is deep force within
us and it’s constant every day every
moment you don’t realize that what
you’re going through that and social
media it completely exacerbates this
tendency in human nature
another is the contagiousness of
emotions which is extremely powerful we
tend to think of ourselves as autonomous
human beings that were independent that
we I feel affection or anger or
frustration on my own we don’t realize
how deep we are affected by the emotions
of the people in a group this is the
viral effects emotions are extremely
contagious before the invention of
language we humans had to be able to
communicate to one another through just
picking up the moods of other people and
if there was a threat to our group or
our tribe the ability to feel fear and
anger together bonded us and helped us
survive but that doesn’t serve much
function in the world today where viral
emotions can be
dangerous interior we see a lot of that
on social media I’m really worried about
people nowadays but now my worry is that
people are so immersed in their
smartphones in their technology that
they don’t understand people they’re not
observing people and this has been
documented in studies that young people
for instance levels of self-absorption
and narcissism have been growing
steadily since the 1970s we are the
preeminent social animal on the planet
our survival depends on how we relate to
other people whether we understand them
on some level and I find a lot of people
are increasingly in the world are really
bad at observing just basic elements in
human psychology the position I’m in now
I’m a consultant to a lot of very
powerful famous people I’m not going to
mention any names people fly me out to
consult the CEOs political people who
are very powerful in even in other
countries and the number one problem I
find that they have is an inability to
understand the people they’re dealing
with they hire the wrong partners they
hire the worst assistance when dabbe
ruining their lives these are people who
were technically brilliant they
understand their field they understand
marketing etc but they don’t understand
basics about people around them and they
make terrible hires that they marry
absolutely the wrong person for them in
their lives their emotions or you know
their personal relationship bring them
down so this is like our Achilles heel
and I think it’s gotten worse in the
world today so my anger was that people
are so focused on technology but that we
need to focus much more on
ajaan understanding people that’s the
primary skill that you need in life
there is something deeply ingrained in
each individual person a particular
individual nature that we all have and
that causes us to go into compulsive
patterns of behavior I have this problem
myself I notice each time I write a book
I’m telling myself I’m gonna make this
book short I’m not gonna ruin my health
I’m not gonna do so much research and
then every goddamn time I still go
through the same process I can’t break
this pattern okay and everybody has them
where does it come from some of it comes
from our DNA from our genetics things we
can’t control that we’ve inherited from
our parents some of it comes from our
early attachment and some of it comes as
we get older and we interact with
teachers and mentors and various people
who create a certain way we view
ourselves if people keep telling us that
were not really worthy that we’re not
good students we internalize that and we
end up becoming like that so it’s a mix
of things you know each person has a mix
of these qualities and you have to kind
of and untangle the various strands in
your write-up what I’m saying is you’re
a mystery to yourself you don’t know who
you are
you have patterns of behavior and you’re
not even understanding that you don’t
know why you’re angry you think you’re
angry because that person said something
mean to you or did something wrong but
in fact your anger probably stems from
things from deep deep within from your
childhood and you’re not reacting to
that person but
your parents and what they didn’t give
you you know those was the origin of
wisdom according to the Greeks was know
thyself right and I believe that very
firmly that knowledge about who you are
is an end in itself and will help you in
so many ways become that human being
that I think we all have the potential
to become so I’m a great believer in
baby steps in learning how to do things
on a daily basis so normally when we
feel an emotion or we have an idea we
don’t examine it we just assume that’s
that’s you know it just naturally came
up with that on our own
I want you every single day to be
examining yourself and to look at
yourself why do I have that idea why am
I feeling this sudden emotion and it’s
not easy it takes it can take time and
it can take degree of introspection that
you’re not comfortable with but if you
begin to look at yourself in question
why do I feel this way and examine it
and look at perhaps other sources of it
then you can begin this process of
understanding instead of just simply
accepting that you feel or have this
it’s this certain idea so question
yourself stop assuming that everything
you do is so brilliant and smart it’s
right and imagine that maybe your ideas
don’t come from yourself maybe you’re
feeling some political anger or whatever
comes from the fact that you’re just
assuming it from other people you’re
following things on Facebook and you’re
getting swept up in some viral emotion
you want to think that you’re completely
independent and autonomous but maybe
you’re not as independent as you think I
want to change how you look at people
normally everything is personal oh they
said that oh they don’t like me oh he
likes me she I’m not getting attention
cut that off I want you to look at
people as as facts of nature as things
that like a rock or a stone or a plant
this is who they are and I want you to
observe them and accept them for who
they are and deal with them as
individuals you will be free of all that
emotional baggage that you carry when
you take everything so personally I
think altering your perspective how you
look at people will have a radical
influence on all aspects of your life
none of us see the world in the same way
so you and I could go watch a movie it’s
the same movie that we’re watching I
love it I see something you hate it you
see something else you don’t experience
it the same way we’re watching the same
world the same reality but we experience
it differently everybody you meet is
experiencing their world differently
than you are so you have an attitude but
color is what you see and some people
have an attitude that tends towards the
negative and I describe a negative
attitude to something that’s closed so
you’re not open to new experience you’re
trying to close that lens you once you
you have certain beliefs certain
ideas about life and you’re not willing
to change them right because that gives
you a sense of security and so you want
an attitude that’s expansive where you
accept people you’re not always judging
them you’re not negative about them you
understand that people that can’t
necessarily help who they are you’re
open to change you’re open to being into
having adventure and that kind of
attitude kind of gives you a certain
degree of freedom so that the worst
thing that happened to you and you’re
able to transform that into something
good if we have a setback or a failure
in life which is inevitable do we do one
of two things do we analyze ourselves
and see what we did wrong and how we
could change ourselves or do we
immediately look outward and blame other
people that person screwed me
Society doesn’t like me because of these
circumstances I’m I’m screwed and I can
never help it it’s the world it’s not me
that’s a self sabotaging pattern and
behavior because if you’re always
pointing fingers at other people and
blaming them you’re never gonna learn
from your experiences and you’re all
you’re gonna end up being quite bitter
so that’s probably one of the most the
main sources of other self sabotaging so
we can’t we’re not in charge of
everything that happens in life there
are circumstances that are beyond our
control right but a lot of what does
happen to us is something that we do
that we are responsible for there are
amazing studies about the role of
attitude and what happens to you in life
so they have this thing called the
Pygmalion effect teachers who treat a
student as if they are smart and gonna
do well those students end up doing well
right so how you treat people how you
think about yourself has a great impact
on what happens to you when doctors
prescribed a new medication there’s
always the same trend
that when a new medication has been
invented the success rate is like 80
percent because people believe in it
it’s new then like two years later it
starts going down person up yeah it’s a
placebo effect so if you believe
something is going to work if you
believe that your grain you do you
deserve good things that you are a good
stew you will end up making those things
happen so how you look at yourself will
often determine what ends up happening
to yourself so if you’re talking about
stuff with what causes self-sabotage if
you go through life thinking god I’m not
really that good you know there’s
something wrong with me I don’t really
deserve good things I don’t deserve to
have a lot of success or to have a lot
of money people read that off of you a
major theme in this book is that we’re
masters at reading people’s body
language and nonverbal behavior so when
somebody feels that they don’t deserve
things
it’s kind of an off-putting quality in
them and it pushes people away so you
create self-fulfilling dynamics by how
you look at yourself in your attitude so
your attitude and how you think about
yourself so determine how people treat
you and what happens in life
there are two kinds of wounds
there’s the wound that makes you think
you’re less than others and there’s the
one that makes you think you’re better
than others and the less than others at
least I know they’ve something to work
toward learning to learn and it’s like
the biggest tragedy because they just
live their lives in the dark
thinking everything too is great and
ignoring all the results and also just
learning career experiences that doing
something and failing and letting that
be a learning lesson so and in the
failure builder and listen the okay I’m
doing something wrong humility is the
most important things in haft for change
if you really won’t have a big change
like a lot of people come just to hear
what they already want to hear like
codify this into five principles that
can apply to my life but humility to
recognize you know what got you here
won’t get you there as the saying goes
right and to say to say at some point if
you really want to change you’re really
stuck I know nothing I’m letting go of
everything and I’m sort of gonna relearn
as like a with a childlike mind action
is the antidote antidote antidote for
despair action is the prescription for
success how can you have one word one
theory be the the the antidote for
something while being the prescription
for another that’s a powerful something
action Will Smith said it when he was in
it being interviewed by Tavis Smiley
I’m just i’ma work harder the next guy I
fight if I’m on the treadmill my down a
treadmill
cuz no one wants to live in uncertainty
and ambiguity and we live a life of a B
I don’t know what I want to be
I don’t know what I’m gonna do because
you’d never have to move in ambiguity
instead just say I’m afraid to leap help
me leave
help me leap help me get the courage to
leap cuz I don’t want to live a life on
the edge just say that it’s funny there
all these books about happiness right
ten I think ten percent happy are all
these books about happiness and there’s
a problem I think with that goal of
reaching for happiness which is you’ve
got other emotions right sounds going to
be sad sometimes they’re gonna be have
anxiety sometimes you’re gonna have fear
like we have many emotion and if you
feel like I need to be happy all the
time
when you’re not happy you’re gonna feel
like something’s off but what I think
what I think of it is this you’re you’re
born pure and fresh and vulnerable and
spontaneous and in a moment and slowly
through life experiences and your
caregivers you get loaded with a lot of
baggage and I think one of the goals of
life is how much of that baggage can you
cut away before you leave this planet
we’re running on this operating system
and we’re all running this operating
systems operating system was programmed
in our first years of life without the
architecture and the architectures built
by our childhood experiences so all
these connections are made whereby I
think a child makes 700 neural
connections a second so a three-year-old
has twice as many neural connections as
we do and they need to grow up as new
ones are forming as a process called
pruning so the ones you don’t use go
away so your brain is really shaped and
built by what you’re seeing with your
caregivers growing up like basically you
know my friend he would tell me like
over and over like you got everything
you wanted in the game why are you still
unhappy why your relationships not
working he would have these
conversations with if it was blue in the
face and I would just fight against him
I push back I tell him all the reasons
why I was wrong a text
those were like like sarong because I
think of counter-arguments later and was
like I was like arguing against my own
like growth you know because the things
I found I found the thing I was the most
resistant to was what I needed the most
so so it’s hard it’s so hard to see
yourself and we also have a
psychological investment in remaining
the same so it’s like you have a friend
you’re always trying to maybe cheer them
up because they’re depressed or raising
it or helping with their self-esteem
because they’re down but you’ll find
that will fight people will
psychologically fight to hold on to
their story because it’s all they have
can you give yourself permission to live
in the duality of your imperfections and
your smallness and what you’re learning
and what you still have to learn and
your greatness and your brilliance in
your light can you allow them to coexist
and then serve them up to the world to
love you to see you to inhale you to
judge you to leave you to love you
you’re just some of us are just as
afraid of being loved as we are to be
left can you give the world permission
to leave you and love you
I’m gonna be talking about how to be
unfuckable all of us as we grow up we
true the conditioning of our parents of
a society of media we developed these
holes within our being and unfuck with a
bow is really about going from these
holes to being hole
so unfuck with ability is basically this
extraordinary minds do not need to seek
validation from outside opinions or true
the attainment of goals instead they are
truly at peace with themselves and the
world around them they live fearlessly
immune to criticism or praise and fueled
by their own inner happiness and
self-love now the reason we need to be
unfuckable is because without disability
we don’t have the skills the
invincibility the power to go out there
and truly pursue life transforming goals
if we care what other people think of us
good or bad we limit our abilities we
fear for example I did not write my book
for many years because I fear what
people would think what if the book
sucks oh my god if the book sucks what
people really like continue buying line
value products I did not get on stage
for many many many years because I
thought well you know what if nobody
claps I remember in college I never
asked a girl I liked out for many many
many years because I was afraid of
rejection heck it took me two years to
ask my wife out because I was afraid of
rejection and so all of us go through
this this is what causes us to want to
dress up in a certain way to get that
six-pack because it you know apparently
it means something to buy certain cars
of things or vehicles just so we can
compensate for whatever we might find
lacking but the problem with this type
of attitude is that
the fear limits us it limits us from
really doing epic things because to do
something big you got to be prepared for
rejection you got to be prepared for
failure and the bravest people in the
world are able to do the incredible
things they do because these things do
represent them the attainment of the
goal the accomplishment the object the
man of the woman are just nice the house
but they say nothing about who you are
but what I found over the years is that
there are three ways to get to the state
of unfuck with about to get to the state
where you know when someone compliments
you you’re good with that but you don’t
need that compliment if you give a
speech and nobody gives you a standing
ovation you’re cool with that you know
it’s not you it’s maybe the speech or
it’s something you said or maybe it’s
it’s the method that you use and you’re
like okay great I can hack that method I
can improve this way I can rethink how I
give a speech but it’s not you too many
people make it about themselves and this
is what causes the limitation in how
they grow forgiveness is about facing
your past it’s about looking at the
that happened to you in the past and
being able to heal that so that you can
move on now you’re unattached to your
past it’s about writing a new future for
yourself where you are enough so you can
go out there and not give a damn about
criticism or judgment or how people
think about you now this means that you
can do what needs to be done to fulfill
your mission in life without fearing
other people’s opinion you can accept
praise that’s good but you don’t need
the praise you can look at criticism and
just see it as a simple way to improve
without seeing that criticism is a wound
into your own soul so you have the past
you have the future and if you apply
these in your life people everything
changes these models have helped me make
the last year among the most successful
years of my life but notice how simple
they are you do not have to spend
thousands upon thousands of dollars
learning them in fact the illusion is
their simplicity it is simple to forgive
it doesn’t happen overnight but with
practice as I’ve shared in my stories
you can forgive even the most vile
crimes that have happened to you and
it’s directly within yourself you
forgive people think you need to get the
other person to forgive you know it’s
within your own power to forgive it is a
choice you can make you can feel enough
no one can do that to you but you can
hack your brain through the right
techniques to train your brain to make
you be enough all of us are born as kids
feeling enough society is what pokes the
holes into us but you can reverse that
with the right technique and it can
happen incredibly fast and the third one
is simply be present you can do that you
can do it right now you can do it over
lunch you can do it on the cruise today
it is that easy and when you do this
welcome to unfuck with ability
[Music]
you
