WHEN LIFE BREAKS YOU | POWERFUL Motivational Video Speech Compilation 2020
there is no cap on the human mind you
are your own hero you are you own leader
you are your old master we are
completely in control of our emotional
state you’re going this sucks you know
but I’m gonna make the best small step
big priority small incremental changes
and no one save me you have to face
yourself I figured out the one piece I
was missing I thought it was cars I
thought it was women I thought it was
mud I thought was everything the one
piece I was missing was me having the
courage to face myself I made this
person I made this person by diving in
to the insecurities that life gave me
because now they’re yours the eurozone
if you’re not smart car yourself dumb
it’s okay if you’re fat car yourself fat
I used to be 300 pounds we we want to
talk so soft to her so we’re looking for
that recovery day it’s not coming and
that’s the mentality I took with me it
wasn’t like someone came down here and
guided me through life when you figure
this out on your own the amount of pride
and dignity and self-respect you have
that’s why I walk around the streets
with a backpack and just like I don’t
need anything else
you figure it out about going inside
yourself by Callison over the victims
mentality so whether it’s traffic or
it’s being in a horrific car accident we
are completely in control of our
emotional state and the the key that
unlocks the door to emotional
invincibility if you will is acceptance
we can choose to be consciously choose
to be first you accept what you can’t
change and then you go what emotion will
best serve me and I think more often
than not it’s gratitude and happiness
for the most part or optimism you know
as an emotion but we can be the happiest
and the most grateful we’ve ever been
while we are going through those
difficult painful scary time in our
lives and it’s and it doesn’t and it
here’s the thing it just makes it that
much easier it doesn’t mean that it
doesn’t suck but it means that you’re
not letting the fact that it sucks
completely control your emotional
well-being you’re going this sucks you
know but I’m gonna make the best of it
I think one of the biggest challenges
with change is too much pressure
especially when someone has other
challenges that affect the challenge of
distraction and I would look at small
incremental changes small changes but a
big priority in their life the challenge
I find is that too many of us trying to
change too many things all at the same
time is that we want to wake up early
and start going to the gym and eat right
all in the same week impossible right
it’s impossible no one can do that small
step big priority try and change one
small thing but make it the biggest
priority of the week what we do you try
make big steps and make them own small
priorities and we want to shift that
right shifted the other way around this
is a child a child doesn’t start
learning how to eat proper food and walk
at the same time they children have
moments in their life where certain
things start evolving for them that’s
how we’re built that’s how we’re wired
so allowing that to happen continuously
even when we grow older makes it easier
for that person as well
[Music]
fear is so real in fact there are
probably things that you’re afraid of
doing right now in your life and your
relationships at work and the fact that
you’re afraid that’s robbing you of all
of the experiences that you want to have
in your life I mean if you’re afraid to
fly that’s gonna limit your ability to
travel and see the world or go visit
friends if you’re afraid of public
speaking that’s gonna really limit your
ability to express yourself and share
your ideas if you’re afraid of talking
to your boss or asking for a raise that
directly impacts how much money you make
or what if you are dreaming of starting
a business or you’ve already started a
new business but you’re afraid to talk
to people and you’re afraid to share
your business with people I mean fear is
something that stops us all fear is real
you can’t control the feelings that are
gonna rise up in your body when you’re
on a plane or when you’re talking to
your boss or when you see somebody
that’s attractive and you you really
want to go over and and talk to that
person but you can always control what
you think and you can always make a
decision about the actions you’re going
to take but the thing that’s so
difficult for most of us is how when
you’re alone you push through the
excuses the habits the fears and actual
physical constraints that you have in
your life right now so that you can make
the pivot what do you do when you have
to get on a plane and you’re actually
terrified of flying what do you do if
you got to give a presentation and you
are afraid of public speaking here’s
what you’re gonna do
think about your brain as being in two
modes there’s autopilot we’ve all
experienced that well what is autopilot
autopilot is the interior part of your
brain you’ll hear neuroscientists and
psychologists talk about the basal
ganglia very important thing to
understand is that there’s a part of
your brain that it’s entire job is
basically to execute your habits habits
behaviors that you repeat without even
thinking about it
when you pull your pants on in the
morning I guarantee you you either put
your left or your right leg in first cuz
that behavior is what researchers call a
habit loop it gets encoded as a
closed-loop system right here the
problem for most of us is that half of
the day we’re on autopilot and that’s
not me making a guess that’s what
researchers that study habits and study
psychology say at half of your day
you’re basically kind of checked out and
you’re on autopilot and when you’re
checked out and you’re on autopilot
any behavior pattern that you repeat can
take over and guess what our behavior
patterns that we repeat thinking
patterns so self-doubt worry across the
nation overthinking analysis paralysis
fear those are all thinking patterns
that are habits one of the most
important things that I want people to
understand is that you’re actually not a
worrier you have a habit of worrying
you’re not a procrastinator you have a
habit of procrastinating big difference
and when you understand that any
behavior pattern whether it is a
thinking pattern like you doubt yourself
all the time or whether it’s a behavior
pattern like you drink too much or you
snap at your kids or you micromanage
your team every one of those behavior
patterns and thinking patterns can
actually be interrupted and replaced
using science now let’s talk about the
second part of the brain drive drive is
the mode where you’re in charge of your
thoughts it’s where you are fully awake
you are present and you are driving your
thoughts and actions when you’re doing
that
your prefrontal cortex is active the
prefrontal cortex is the part of the
brain that you need in order to learn
new behavior in order to do something
difficult in order to do something
uncertain in order to do strategic
thinking and now you got a decision to
make
are you gonna drift back into the habits
or are you going to awaken your
prefrontal cortex and drive forward and
focus and do something new you have to
act within five seconds are you gonna go
on autopilot and get trapped in your
mind
or are you gonna five-four-three-two-one
and awaken your prefrontal cortex and
drive forward you think that you need to
feel confident or courageous in order to
get started you don’t you actually just
have to start and that’s the riddle of
life that lying in bed hoping that you
wake up some morning motivated to change
that’s not the answer you actually have
to learn how to push yourself you have
to learn how to how to leverage the
power of your decisions and you’ve got
to learn how to take action when you
don’t feel like it because every morning
when I woke up I did not feel confident
I felt like a loser
I felt like the world’s worst parent I
felt like I had failed at every single
turn see this is the knowledge action
gap you can know what you want you can
know what you should be doing but how do
you make yourself do it when the
feelings and the motivation isn’t there
when all you got is fear you cannot
control what triggers you and the fact
that you may rise up with anger you may
rise up with self-doubt you may have
anxiety fill your body but you can
always control what you think and how
you behave and we spend way too much
time trying to focus on manipulating how
we feel about things and not enough time
practicing the skills of controlling
your behavior and your thoughts we make
decisions of feelings 95% of our
decisions are made by how you feel in
the moment and that is the problem you
need to take control of the moment and
leverage the power of your decisions and
make them up here because when I was
lying in bed
I wasn’t saying to myself I should get
up because that’s gonna help me start my
day right I was saying do I feel like
getting up do you feel like making that
cold call no you don’t do you feel like
doing that third set of reps no you
don’t do you feel like having that hard
conversation no you don’t do you feel
like ending this relationship whether
it’s in business or in your life that is
sucking you dry no you don’t we make
decisions based on our feelings and that
is robbing you of joy and opportunity
and it is blinding you from the fact
how you change your life is one
five-second decision at a time one push
at a time and if you if you accept the
fact that you may never feel ready and
you may never feel motivated and you may
never feel confident you may never feel
courageous and that’s okay but you can
still push yourself forward what happens
over time is as you start to see
yourself becoming the person that takes
action that you start to see yourself
becoming the kind of person that speaks
even though your voice is shaking you’re
the kind of person that that that has a
bias toward moving instead of a bias
toward thinking guess what happens you
build the skill of confidence and
courage five years ago we thought the
brain stopped growing at the age of 25
the answer now is never the truth is
your brains always growing and expanding
that’s why you can always learn new
things which is amazing
because it allows for what we call
behavioral flexibility meaning there’s
no reason for you to ever be stagnant
not in business not as a leader not as a
human being what’s the point man why am
i doing all this is it really worth it
because I’ve been working so hard man
and for so many years let me just be
real I can’t help but feel like I’m not
getting anywhere I’m not getting the
results that I should be and everyone
else they’ve got what they want the
money the job the life they’re traveling
the world they’re getting what they won
and I’m just like here no one sees what
I’m meant to be and I don’t care what
you think but the honest truth the
honest truth what I really feel is it’s
unfair man I deserve more why am I not
getting you is there something I didn’t
do is it me is it something I did wrong
cuz I put the hours of work in I even
put money into this effort into this and
Here I am the date has changed but my
life hasn’t
I haven’t why am I still here I just I
don’t get it man what am I doing wrong
maybe I’m not that
talented maybe maybe they’re right and
this has all been a waste of time
cuz the dreamer was sold it’s become a
nightmare you’ve got to stop comparing
yourself everything has its time I know
you’re not where you want to be yet but
that’s okay the damage that’s been done
it’s because we compared other people’s
highlight reels to our behind the scenes
this world it doesn’t give you what you
want it gives you the lesson you need we
want all the riches and glamor in the
world using just a few small hacks we
want to be seen only for our best bits
while hiding our worst flaws but not
everything that glitters is gold what we
need what you need is to compare where
you are with what you were to compare
where we are with what we already have
so just work with what you have be
patient start wherever you are and do
the best with what you have because
someone out there tonight
is praying for the things you take for
granted every night so just stop and
write it out count what you have not
what you don’t so don’t worry if on this
journey you’re not where you were meant
to be there’s no hurry
after all the fruit it’s the last part
to grow on a tree good things don’t just
fall into your lap the opportunity comes
to those who are always on the attack
so attack live what you dream work for
what you dream and do your best always
just keep on keeping on
and remember
there’s no such thing as a life that’s
better than yours peace self-mastery
power begins from within if you’re aware
of who you are if you’re aware of what
you’re good at what you’re not good at
if you’re able to see how emotions kind
of govern your life if you can learn
what your weaknesses are and how to
control them you can’t ever get complete
control that awareness is almost enough
slowly through this process of knowing
who you are and understanding other
people and how they operate so you don’t
make stupid mistakes in life you can
increase that little tiny margin more
and more and more and you will be a
person of power we’re try so hard in our
lives to fit in we try to fit into
certain groups certain frats certain
sororities you know amongst certain
friends yet the people we idolize our
most are the ones that stand out but
when you’re prepared there is no fear
there is no fear of failure because even
if you’ve walked out of something and
you feel like you’ve failed at it your
preparation is so strong that you’re
gonna take that failure and turn it into
the outcome you desire and most people
stop at failure we’ve all failed at
things I’m gonna continue to fail at
stuff it’s the most powerful tool you
can use but it all depends on how you
use it a scalpel in the hands of an
individual it can do unbelievable damage
in the hands of a professional of a
doctor it saves lives so it’s the same
thing with failure it’s how you use it
it’s that drive inside of you it’s what
we talk about the dark side the dark
side is filled with failure but it’s the
fuel that burns you like something
that’s never burned inside you before
and on some days you’ve got to just
listen to your soul and you got to say
I’m a leap I’m gonna get to the edge
most people are at the edge and you’re
sending at the edge and you’re watching
everyone else fly
that’s Pitt my ride watch my crib
it’s tough you know watching people’s
lives on Facebook you’re at the edge
watching someone else live wondering
what it’s gonna be like when you jump
without ever jumping and I’m just here
to tell you jump because only three
things can happen you’re either gonna
jump and fly are you gonna jump and fall
on something soft or are you gonna fall
down hard
either way you gonna get back up you
already know you got what it takes to
get back up your greatest fears not that
you will fall your greatest fears that
you will live a full life and never fly
that you never leaked you’re not afraid
of dying you’re afraid of dying before
the world sees who you really are before
they really get your fingerprint before
they really get your contribution if
they really fill you that’s what you
don’t want to happen you don’t want to
leave this place without us knowing you
were here there’s a process the process
begins by first knowing what you really
love and believe me a lot of people have
no self-awareness they don’t even really
know what it is that they were meant to
do in life they loved music when they
were a kid but then they got into law or
whatever because of their parents and
then they don’t know who they are
anymore what do I really like music you
got to go through that process first of
figuring out what it is that really
connects to you in a deep visceral way
what you loved when you were a kid what
still excites you once you go through
that and you understand it and you’ve
got some clarity about it okay how do I
incorporate that in my life I know it’s
hard sometimes I know you feel lost
confused and hurt sometimes but what if
you tried to be nothing more than to be
beautifully broken to fall again and
again in your imperfect fraud lost the
confusion as you try to find your way
when I first saw AVG on stage I would
have done anything to be him he must be
the happiest man on earth I said he had
it all the travel the lifestyle
performing to thousands the success but
things aren’t always what they seem
success money travel and even a smile
doesn’t mean happiness and the face we
show the world is often just the best
mask that we could find to get through
the day
or found some sad news from the music
world EDM star Avicii has died he was
found dead in the city of Muscat Oman
you’ve got to keep going you have to
keep moving you have to keep evolving
you have to keep loving because all the
darkness in the world isn’t enough to
distinguish one small tiny speck of
light but one tiny speck is enough to
make everything else around you more
bright when I first saw Robin Williams I
thought he was the funniest person on
earth he made me laugh hysterically the
type of person that must always be
joking laughing and happy the characters
the movies the stand-up comedy he was
the best but mental illness doesn’t care
how successful you are and being funny
and the same as being happy for Robin
Williams comedy was the wall he built to
hide his darkness the mask he wore to
make everybody else’s day so I hate to
have to report this every idea of who
you are let go of it there’s nothing
fixed about who or what you can be like
I said they’re all just stories thread
together by the inaccurate dead memories
of the past you are a real force of
nature a force of nature think about
what that means you have a power in
eighteen that can’t be bought taught or
replicated only remembered like a planet
to bring satellites into orbit have
faith in your force of nature it’s
magnetic effortless and it can’t be
turned on or off people have survived
slavery people have survived
concentration camps and still found
meaning people have survived heartbreak
loss death grief sadness betrayal
confusion all these things for years
when we see a sign on a car that says
baby on board or handicap driver
naturally were more patient with the
driver we slow down and give them space
to drive because we know there’s a
vulnerable person inside would we be so
considerate if the sign wasn’t there I
can almost definitely say no the truth
is we don’t know what people are going
through because people don’t wear signs
to illustrate their struggles you don’t
see a sign attached to somebody saying
I’m going through a divorce or I’ve lost
a child or I’m feeling depressed or I’ve
been diagnosed with cancer if we could
visually see what those around us were
going through we would definitely be
kinder we’re all connected were all
together in this at the reduction of our
identities of self lies real unity so
trust me you will find a way they can’t
ever stop you you will seep through
every crack grow around every obstacle
rise to every challenge because you are
that and that is you pain is relative
and everybody around you is going
through their own pain and it’s a pain
we know nothing about a pain that’s
often masked with a smile to protect the
vulnerable person inside whether we know
what’s going on or not we have to treat
everybody as if they’re wearing a sign
that we can’t see mental health issues
are invisible illnesses that don’t
always look the same from the outside
you can have everything in the world but
still be unhappy and that’s not because
you’re hard to please or you’re just
never satisfied it’s because pain
sadness and depression do not
discriminate
we often make the mistake of thinking
the answer to our happiness lies in
having the life of somebody else without
realizing that many of the people we
wish we were are going through struggles
so painful that they wish there was
someone else too not all shared
subjective reality is true
so what I write about in my book is how
to study a culture escape the shared
subjective realities we are living in
and identify what rules help you and
what rules are really bruised or
bullshit rules rules that hold you back
from truly living your most
extraordinary life so let me give an
example of a bullshit rule growing up in
an Indian family there’s not a pressure
to be successful your family pushes you
to be a lawyer a doctor or an engineer
and if you’re not any of that you’re a
family embarrassment so in my case I
loved I viewed artists the idea of me
being an artist as disappointing my
family as the opposite of success so I
signed up for computer engineering
classes I studied hard went to all of
these boring as helll classes that I had
no interest in at the University of
Michigan so that five years later I
could get a job at Microsoft and now
boom I was it I was working for Bill
Gates I was at Microsoft eleven weeks
into Microsoft I realized I was
miserable and I quit cold-turkey I
realized that for five years I was
pursuing something that I had no
interest in because the rules of the
culture escape of being a good Indian
kid said be a software programmer so I
quit I quit I wanna join a non-profit
and that’s really when my life began I
dabbled in different things from from
traveling around the world to meditation
to art but it was through following
these passions it was through ignoring
the bullshit rules of the culture escape
identifying what really drove me what
made me passionate that I was able to
build a life I have today and that’s
really why I’m so adamant about teaching
people through my work to question
everything to question your religion to
question your societal rules to question
the idea of a college degree that’s how
I feel all of us should be living life
by questioning everything and I don’t
mean being skeptical of everything
there’s a difference I mean healthy
skepticism ultimately questioning the
rules of the culture escapes so we can
stay true to
identity I think the idea of
goal-setting in the Western world is
rubbish because here’s what happened
when you asked people to set goals even
if you teach them methodologies like
Smar T SMART goal setting you’re
basically encouraging people to set
goals based on that same consciously but
it’s restricting rules so people
especially in the United States set
goals along the lines of this okay we
need to get a good grade so I can
graduate high school so I can get into a
good college need to study hard to get a
good GPA so maybe I can go to graduate
school or maybe I can do well in my LSAT
that becomes the next goal getting to
law school the next goal graduate from
law school get into a partnership become
a lawyer and that’s how teenagers often
think about their life these series of
like tics that they have to go through
but here’s what happens let’s actually
look at that let’s look at lawyers 50%
of lawyers in America are clinically
depressed it’s not just the US I think
Australia did a similar study so why are
kids going into these professions where
they end up in a job that they thought
was a good goal at one point only to
find themselves absolutely miserable we
set our goals to have two cars and a
house of a certain size to be in a
marriage it’s because these goals aren’t
coming from inside us they’re coming
from the culture scape and the culture
escape is basically a safety net
mechanism you see for the longest time
in human history we had to watch out for
each other they were war instead with
disease go back a thousand years to a
wild animals that might kill you so you
have to follow certain rules of the
culture escape to stay safe among these
were get a good education so you’re not
stuck in a factory job so that you can
have a blue-collar job it was get
married so if you’re a woman you have a
man
for you it was have five kids because
you know if you go back fifty years ago
infant mortality was so much higher you
have five kids – we’re gonna probably
pass away but the problem is people
continue with these same rules in
today’s world when everything has
changed so the thing is I don’t believe
in goal setting because when you teach
traditional goal setting people are
locked into the rules of the culture
scheme so here’s what I suggest
I suggest we ask ourselves three
questions and I call these the three
most important questions now the first
question is this it’s what experiences
do I want to have okay now tell you why
that’s important you see there are two
types of codes there are main schools
and their end goals so people tend to
chase mean schools not realizing these
are very different from end goals a mean
school is do well in mindset graduate
from college get that particular job
save up for retirement but if you ask
these people why do you want that
there’s always a so well I want to
qualify for college so I can do this I
want to become a lawyer so I can do this
well this soul leads you to the end goal
now what are angles angles are these
things that really lead to the the
beauty of being human it’s waking up
next to someone you madly love it’s
holding your first child in your arms
it’s having a puppy it’s seen your
business open for the first time it’s
making that you know getting that first
customer is completing your first book
it’s creating a work of art and having
people admire it and fall in love with
it these end goals so what I advocate is
in the three most important question is
forget the means goals means goals goals
designed by the culture scape instead go
straight to the end goals now the first
question you ask yourself to identify
your end goals is what experiences do I
want to have in life and this is where
you start writing down your experiences
you know when I do this exercise I ask
people to take out a piece of paper so
if you’re watching do that right now
take out a piece of paper three columns
top of the first column you’re gonna
write down experiences right and ask
yourself what experiences do I want to
have who do I want to wake up with
whatever house do I want to live in what
countries do I want to visit where do I
want to travel to what adventures do I
want to have whether it’s climbing Mount
Kinabalu or hiking the Andes what type
of family life do I want what dog do I
want the beautiful thing about
experiences is often they don’t require
that much money it’s crazy we associate
money with happiness that often the most
beautiful experiences in life require no
money almost any human being today can
fall in love can make a baby these are
some of the most profound experiences
I’ve had so the first thing is you make
a list of the experiences now the second
thing is you ask yourself this question
for me to be the man or woman who has
all of these experiences how do I have
to grow and here we come to the second
list see I believe we are souls having a
human experience here on planet Earth
but these souls are not just here to
explore all of these wonderful things
about being human I believe as souls as
human beings we crave growth human
beings of growth driven machines and so
you make that second list and that
second list is how do I want to grow how
can I learn to be a better father a
better spouse a better lover what
languages do you want to learn do you
want to learn a musical instrument do
you want to learn to write do you want
to learn to play a particular sport or
learn a particular skill what many
people don’t realize about the world is
that growth is a goal in itself it’s one
of the key things that drive us forward
as human beings but very few people
write down growth as goals because the
education system which tries to teach us
to grow through forced learning makes
many people dread learning so growth
becomes that second list
now you have to list your experiences in
your growth now you ask yourself the
third question and the third question is
this to be that man or woman who has all
of these experiences to be that man a
woman who was grown in such a way how
can I give back to the world it’s very
important reason for that question
the Dalai Lama said if you want to be
happy make other people happy and I
believe that when you do these three
most important questions that third
category is what truly leads to
fulfillment it’s when you can take your
growth you can take your experiences and
contribute the following souls to
contribute to the human race you plan
entrepreneurship great mentor someone
meant to a kid who wants to get there
you have the ability to say figure out
how to use it to deliver you know
beautiful music to inspire people so
your list of contributions becomes your
steps for you to give back to the world
because that takes you beyond pure
happiness into fulfillment now when you
have this list experiences growth and
contribution this becomes your whole
list everything else is just a means go
now when I started creating this I found
that it allowed me to rewire my brain to
shortcut and bypass so many bullshit
rules to go straight to these final
items to go straight to ways I could
contribute ways I can grow ways I could
have these beautiful experiences and
often these for unconventional thoughts
when you have done the three most
important questions you get to
short-circuit the rules of the culture
scale and figure out shorter paths
towards true human fulfillment
[Music]
everyone has got three things wrong the
number one is I’m not enough the second
one is on different so I can’t connect
and the third is I really want something
like freedom from depression my success
but it’s not available but I’m not
enough is the biggest and if we look at
the key addiction shopping binging on
food binging on alcohol and drugs sex
but sex especially for all of those
things come from a feeling of emptiness
inside because we’re taught oh you feel
a feeling why don’t you eat some
doughnut so go into eBay and buy the or
Amma’s or buy some they go have a drink
and our feelings of the most real thing
we have and we push them down we found
all this stuff to buy or eat or drink or
take to keep us like John Lennon said
comfortably numb but then the feelings
regroup and come back because they’ve
always got a job to do look you gotta
feel the feeling until it no longer
requires to be felt you can’t eat it or
drink it or shop it away but we wrote
all that we can and should it starts
with yourself man you got to start
diving into those things that you are
afraid of you’re getting confidence by
going to the spot that makes you feel
good but gives you confidence not being
afraid it’s overcoming the fear and not
overcome them every day but facing them
and face in the face and pretty soon
like there’s no one man this is where
the time it’s not in that comfort zone
it’s in the discomfort zone is where my
conference is getting built mmm that’s
what it’s getting built but people want
to they want to easier answer yeah there
has to be an easier way it’s not you
have to face yourself so many people
live to be 100 years old and they died
miserable having everything because they
never examined I called my live autopsy
you never examine this happiness peace
enlightenment it’s all up here man
everybody’s got a story we don’t share
it on social media
we share our nice life on social media
we have we all have a dungeon mental
toughness isn’t something that you
sample is something that you live in
every day whenever hardness comes and
you know it is it may be different for
you this for me but you go back to your
insecurities and then we go back to
insecurities you then look for comfort
within those insecurities and we all
look for that cookie that your mom used
to give you mine when you were sad and
you were sick we look for our wife or a
husband we look for comfort it’s in
those moments
you must retrain your mind to think
differently we all have these feelings
in our bodies in our minds and our souls
I act on mine a lot of us who are afraid
of something we allow our minds to
choose the path of least resistance and
go a different route
[Music]
you
