Wayne Dyer Interviewed by Tony Robbins | Very Powerful
i’m here today and privileged to be with a gentleman that i’m sure you’re familiar with if i’m introducing you to him you haven’t been around very much it’s probably more of a reintroduction and that is dr wayne dyer we’re here in hawaii in his escape route where he’s writing another book and if you’re not familiar with wayne you should be certainly he’s written some of the best-selling books of all time in the area of personal development your erroneous zones pulling your own strings the sky’s the limit gifts from ikus and you’ll see it when you believe it now wayne i just want to first thank you for letting me get a chance to share with your family that’s great that’s that great yeah that was great i walked into to see wayne and his family and i got attacked by seven children kids know that i was really impressed because when they walked in my children are uh very open and very loving but very often a stranger will walk in and they are very skeptical and they check you out first like animals do and they were just they jumped right on to you so i think there’s an invisible quality that people send out and if you have i think if you have a love for children that says an awful lot about you and of course i have it you know you’re a great deaf because uh you know my children are the most important things in my life yeah and i can tell that you’re a wonderful daddy too it’s nice having that i appreciate that very much well i think one of your gifts from my perception is the ability to have that child be totally alive inside of you and that’s what where happiness comes from when it’s natural but why don’t we start out by getting a little we always start our power talks finding a little background on people sure um so why don’t you tell us where did this philosophy of no limits this this lifestyle of really living life to the fullest where did all this come from for you where did it start i know you had some painful challenges starting out in your childhood yeah well they were challenges they weren’t painful well that’s good um they truly they weren’t i grew up in i spent six or seven years in a series of foster homes my mother had three boys by the time she was just a very young woman and my father was spent some time in prison and he was uh abusive and an alcoholic and an irresponsible person and he was he stole from everyone and this is why he went to jail and he also just abandoned his family when i was just an infant i was born in 1940 and my brothers were born in 38 and 36 so there was a depression at that time it was a horrible financial times my mother was working as a candy girl for kreskeys on the east side of detroit making 17 dollars a week and trying to feed three children and and figure out how to deal with the beatings that she was getting and the abuse and so on so i ended up in a series of foster homes with my brother my oldest brother went with my grandmother and we were all reunited when i was uh almost 10.
i come from a position at this point in my life that uh there’s there are no accidents that the universe is on purpose and i know you you know i mean i know your material as well as you know mine i listen to your tapes and read your books and and know uh that we have a lot of similarities there and um i think that the childhood experiences that you get even the ones that we quote call painful are lessons and uh there are exams given and we either pass them or we just keep uh repeating the same yes that’s right over and over again and so i look back upon that i try to look back very objectively on those years when i was in a foster home and in the years when i was away from my mother and things were happening that everybody else would uh sort of categorize as horrible and painful and and when you’re a kid you don’t wake up every day and say i’m an orphan again today isn’t this awful yeah unless somebody teaches you to think right that’s right unless you unless you process and i was always the one in the in the places that i lived where a mother would bring in a new child it was just all it was was just poverty i mean it was nobody had anything and so everybody that ended up in these various homes was just because they didn’t have anything it wasn’t uh it wasn’t any anything other than that and the mothers would bring their children in or somebody would the church would bring a child in and they’d always say go get wayne and i was always out and back either playing or meditating or having a good time because it was on a it was on a farm like i mean there were chicken coops and there was a lot of apple trees and peach trees and you know it was just to me it was just it was just where i was i mean what else do you know and they’d say where’s wayne and i’d come and they’d say wayne this is martha i remember one time and this little martha was crying and she was all upset and they said wayne teach her how to how to spell her name and i was about three years old i had no idea how to spell myself and i just started guessing at it and she said no that’s not right and we went off and it was like i was the one that somehow had my purpose whatever it is that you want to call it was about uh teaching other people that they didn’t have to be depressed because of the circumstances of their life and i seem to always have known that you make a really interesting point because so often people who are depressed um or see themselves as oppressed that’s part of their identity and they have great times throughout the day yeah but at the end of the day they don’t remember any of it yes you know they say oh i’m so depressed all the time i think that’s one of the key differences between successful and unsuccessful people by the way is that it is that successful people have a tendency to really recall the good yes they remember i mean i i think of my days at the at mrs scarf’s house out in mount clemons at 231 town hall road and i think the only painful day i can ever remember was the day that her husband died and it was just i just didn’t understand i mean he was he was there one moment and he was gone the next you know and the only other one is i had appendicitis when i was a child and i got rushed to the hospital but when i think of my time in the hospital with appendicitis in 1948 i remembered the flowers and i remember the people i remember the nurses those moments a big black nurse who would come in and put us on our knee because they had to give us penicillin in those days in these huge huge and they used dull needles and huge doses and she was always the one who would coddle me and take it i mean i and i remember seeing my mother every day i mean she came to the hospital every day after working where she was and and that was just glorious i don’t remember any other part of it and i have a tendency to do that i i’ve been through a divorce and and i talked to my ex-wife who is now remarried and i’m remaining and our lives are in nice places and we’re very good friends and all that but whenever we would talk about what was going on in our marriage she would always point out all of these things that i didn’t even remember you didn’t take the kid on halloween i said well i remember being there i have this sort of i don’t know whether i just created this order but i look back on on my marriage to my ex-wife that’s a wonderful time i think she was great we just had to we just had to move along i’ve never looked back and and thought oh isn’t that awful never done that well you talk so much about uh having reality-based thinking and yet uh isn’t reality based on whatever we focus on oh yeah reality is just what i think about all day long we are what we think about all day long and it’s like that’s the most important learning i think i have come to over the years is that this body that we’re in is really just like it’s like a garage where we park our soul you know it’s just a place to to put it you know and so you take good care of it and you do all of that but this isn’t what it is i’ve talked often about when my grandmother died and she they weighed her just before she went to the hospital she weighed 133 pounds and life left her body her body didn’t weigh any less i mean her life her very life was invisible and weightless as is everyone who’s listening to it now so you’re just sort of trapped in this body uh temporarily and it is you ought not to be thinking of it as uh as who you are but your reality is how you process it and and that’s one of the great lessons i was i was talking to one of your producers john uh yesterday about somebody here who had come up to me and was very negative toward me which is very rare do i ever attract anything like that so this morning i was meditating on that thinking why did i attract this negative person who was very angry at me for being on his property when i shouldn’t be or something like that and i kept getting back in the meditation and and it’s like it bothered me for a whole day and then i was like over it in a second satori instant awakening it was like this is only a problem for you because you process it the guy who came into your life in a negative way is just the path that he’s on your reality is how you are living with it you know it’s like he came in to teach you a lesson and the lesson is that you don’t have to process him like that any longer and it was gone i realized that it was all totally within my power to let him go and to send him love and i did i sent him a couple of books i found out where he works and uh you know i sent him a lesson it may take him 20 years before he even reads or he may never get it on this path he may have to go through it all kinds of times and carry around that arrogance but it’s not mine i don’t have to own any of that it’s a wonderful it’s a it’s the most freeing thing you have in the world to know that you can process life any way you want to when you say process let’s clarify that you really mean changing the way you think about things yeah questions yourself internally absolutely yeah you’ve gone through an incredible evolution and in the spotlight yeah you know since 1976 i guess when the first book came out right and um i was just a kid i was 16 watching you but i remember seeing yes i got sandals older than you what am i doing in this interview but i remember watching you on television and thinking that guy’s hot you know this guy really he’s he’s saying what’s really true you know he’s you didn’t have anything else about you about what you really felt and you were so clear in your communication that it stunned people yeah it was true i had a sort of a not arrogance but an enormous amount of confidence yes that didn’t have to deal with that no i can remember being on the donahue show on the tonight show on a few shows like that and saying things that uh that they they were so shocked at that they asked me to come back the next week and i wasn’t doing it for shock value it was literally what i’ve been saying all my life apparently i just had a bigger audience i mean i’ve been saying it as a school teacher and i’d been saying it as a college professor and at the lectures that i gave and uh and you were a therapist for a while too oh yeah for many many years yeah what made you decide to write a book in the beginning writing is like is the way i just expressed my soul writing isn’t something i do writing is something that i am and and therefore just it just comes out i i have to write i mean uh like picasso had to paint uh you know and it’s like asking my wife you know why why are you such a great mother you know i mean mothering is is who she is and she’s just absolutely divine at it writing i’ve been doing since i wrote my first novel when i was about 15 years old wow yeah and uh when i was in the navy i spent four years in the military after high school and i wrote three books while i was in the service none of them were ever published i wrote maybe a hundred essays mostly on the things that i found objectionable about the military you know that’s probably where they were and i would design ways to get around it without being beaten down by it because i realized i couldn’t beat the united states government in the united states navy and i i couldn’t go give speeches about how absurd it was but i i also didn’t have to be inspected you know where they would come along and stand you up and make you uh you know shine your shoes in a certain way i just figured out in my mind which is where everything begins in your mind how could i get away with not ever getting inspected again and still be a part of this system and in four years i never had another inspection after i left boot camp did you pull that off every time an inspection would come along i would figure out a way to be someplace else where it would absolutely be necessary for me to be someplace else the only time that i was a little bit devious was when i had somebody when i attempted somebody to steal my shoes so that i couldn’t go i had to leave them out but i would rather have lost my shoes and buy a new pair than a man who needs to express his individuality and freedom anyway whatever’s in essence is true absolutely and i left that the service uh knowing that i wouldn’t uh ever go back to that it was the great lesson of being in the military yeah the great lesson is that life in in your life you have to learn not only what you love but what you don’t love and you have to experience i think what you don’t like and then know it and then know how to go beyond that spend the time in the place you want to live and how you want to be yeah that’s neat yeah i know when you put your first book together well first of all can i mention what you shared with me downstairs sure you can mention anything i appreciate that i got a chance to visit uh with wayne downstairs in his uh room where he’s doing his writing here in hawaii and i was amazed there are some similarities between us but i think maybe even more extreme on your part and that is when i’m writing i’m constantly pulling out all kinds of ideas from many different sources but they’re like 50 or 60 books thrown out all around where wayne sits and writes and he bounces along and pulls from each of these now why don’t you describe a little bit about how you write because i think it’s how you also how you live there’s a great deal of trust there it’s called surrendering i learned to do it about 10 years ago when i’m when i really honed this and that was when i was speaking in houston there were about 3 500 people who had all paid a lot of money to come and hear me and it was an evening with wayne dyer and i had all my notes all arranged in exactly the way i wanted to and everything was just exactly perfect i was backstage doing the pacing that you do before you go on and the meditating and the breathing and then just getting yourself relaxed and and your sort of divine guidance that you’re uh seeking and i realized that i didn’t have my notes they were gone yes and they were back in the hotel room which was 30 minutes away and i was going on at 10 minutes so i walked out on stage without any notes for the first time and i surrendered in that 10 minute period of time i just said all right you know what you’re doing you know how to do it and you’re good at this and and you’re here for a reason and there are 3 500 and 1 people in the room in this room and you’re the one who’s speaking and 3 500 have paid to come and hear you uh there must be a reason for that and and so get on purpose get on purpose get off of your outcome get off of how well you do get off of how much money you’re being paid get off of all of that and get on to what are you here for yeah and you’re here to improve the quality of life for somebody else that’s all you can do when you when you leave this planet when you when you the measure of your life won’t be in what you accumulated it will be in what you gave you could since you can’t get anything anyway it’s in giving so i just like i surrendered and that was the beginning for me of uh of surrendering i’ve never used notes since in my life it’s not that i’m not prepared i meditate before and i know what i want to do and i do that now with my writing i it gets to a point where you absolutely have a knowing you there’s two ways to learn one way is through fear and doubt and so you learn through suffering or another way is to learn through knowing just just an absolute knowing that you have guidance available to you and that you’re not alone and that you can handle this and that you have a choice to feel that way right now no matter what’s happening in the environment absolutely so i surround myself with the people and the books and the ideas and the things that i want and i know that they will be there i have an idea when i’m so i know the areas i want to write about in the areas of prosperity and creating health in your life and in your relationships and in your relationship to yourself and these kinds of things i know about that right so i know what my chapter titles are and my headings are and things like that and the rest of it i just absolutely trust and when i when when i stop i didn’t i was going to say stuck because but i don’t get stuff i don’t have anything called writer’s block anymore i can write forever i mean my typewriter just goes and goes and goes and sometimes it’s it goes so fast that it smokes i mean it’s like it’s just it’s just going part of the problem right there that’s an interesting point you’ve got a typewriter down there that you is it the same type of are you using your original book yeah it’s the same type right i’ve written everything i’ve ever written a smith corona yeah it’s an old old one yeah yeah well you talk about living in the now now there are computers wayne what’s going on here why do you stay with me i have a i have a thing about computers i have some judgment there that i probably have to work on but uh i forgive your computers i do yeah they collect so much information there’s sort of a big brother-ish kind of and it’s like you press a button and everything that you ever did when you wet your pants i know it’s written in there all of the skeletons i have in my closet are in somebody’s computer so you don’t want to you don’t want to contribute to that could be paranoia but maybe not but anyway it’s this trusting that that you get to that allows you to not just not just to write well or not just to speak well which is what i do whether you’re driving a cab or whether you’re a dentist or whatever it’s what they call flow have you seen the book flow yes i have it’s not a i can’t pronounce the author’s name but it’s this is something like that but it’s a fabulous yeah the whole notion that you uh you get past judgment and uh and i do this in in my tennis i play tennis every day yes at a a pretty decent club level and i have found my best tennis flows from uh when i’m off of outcome and i’m on purpose when i’m just out there being you know you what i’m impressed by you is to see your children because your children live by flow yeah they do i mean when you walk in there and they attack you and love you and jump all over you you know that was such a that was my highlight meeting you was wonderful we’ve met before yes that’s right meeting your kids is really the big experience but you see they’re like that because my wife marcie is like that and i’m like that yes our relationship is like that and i really believe that children emulate what they see around them because if you want to teach your children you don’t have to read a lot of books about about how to do it you just have to model what it is you’d like them to become just be be that around them all the time we get on a plane now we’ve been coming to here to hawaii since those children were infants right they were conceived all of them were conceived right here on hawaii i mean this is a very very special magical place you better be careful yes right now we’re pointing that out right now an eighth child uh but when we get on the plane we live in florida now we come to hawaii now that’s halfway around the world all right that’s a that’s a 13 hour deal and when we get in the back of a plane we fill up a plane those children every single time we never give them any instructions we never tell them you have to be good you better not say anything or we’re going to get you or anything like that we just get on the plane and when we get off everybody on the plane always comes up to us and talks about all of our children and how wonderful they are they’re there they’re in the moment they enjoy the plane if there’s a movie it doesn’t matter if they’ve seen it 16 times doesn’t they watch the movie they they’re playing with the stereo stuff they’re listening to stuff they walk around i mean but they’re always very peaceful they’re very joyful and they they meet other people on the plane and they even calm down other babies around them just like they say about about christ you know our mother teresa and and that all comes from the kind of relationship that my wife and i have and i couldn’t agree with you more i think that uh most people try and teach your kids what to do but yeah they live a different lifestyle like kids don’t listen to what you say it’s and telling their kids that you shouldn’t use drugs where are they cheating on their income tax and talking about i can’t understand why their children lie they don’t get no yeah tell me i know you have a discipline of running and you were doing that right before this interview you’ve been doing it every day for how long in october of this year i will have completed 15 years without missing a day of running a minimum of eight miles that’s amazing and as a result of doing that and meditating along with it i haven’t had a day of illness in 15 years i’ve had a few fevers i’ve had a few of this and that a few sniffles but i haven’t had anything any influenza any colds any anything that would keep me from running that distance and i’ve had some i’m an athlete so i’ve had some bad injuries to my legs and all of that but i’ve always been able to run right through them and instead of it taking weeks and weeks and weeks for these pulls and these these injuries to heal they’re usually healed in a day or two because i think circulation is not only the key to understanding the universe it’s a key to understanding the universe that you are you’ve got to keep yourself circulating all the time you can’t let an old person move into your body you know that’s a good point behind every old person is a young person saying what the heck happened i remember when i was teaching psychology i came across a great poster it was a a whole line of babies a little face and they were all gurgling and laughing and just like the ones that you just saw downstairs and then underneath it where another row of pictures was all these old people who were just all sitting there and uh depressed and looking down and on unhappy and with scowls on their face and the heading said what happened yeah let me ask you what is your major focus of what you’re trying to share now let me come back to i actually i started asking earlier i said you know you’ve gone through a tremendous evolution how do you perceive that evolution in your own life over the last 15 years or so the evolution is um is one of instead of teaching people how to manage their emotions or how to avoid being victimized i think is the difference between uh self-help and self-realization i guess what i write about is always just a reflection of what i’m going through in my life my writing is always very personal the examples come out of my own experience in my own life and my life has undertaken a dramatic transformation from uh a person who used to be a human being having a spiritual experience as i said to a spiritual being having a human experience and i know found difference there yes it is and i know that who i am is is divine i’m a divine necessity and each person listening is as well and i know that there’s a grand purpose a heroic mission that every one of us has on on this planet and i think that uh my lessons have been much more spiritual much more peaceful consequently my life has become much more peaceful and when my life is in harmony and serene then my writing is that way i think my writing flows more now i think my message is that uh that i know i’m not alone i know that and i guess if i know i’m not alone and i can go to a higher place within myself that i believe that anybody can that the same intelligence that flows through you is the same intelligence that flows through me the only reason that i can’t wiggle your finger is because i believe that i’m separate from you yeah you know but this is it’s a oneness that is there and um i’ve met a beautiful beautiful man his name is deepak oh yes yeah we’ve met him recently and he’s invited us to deepak and i have become very very friendly incredible yeah he is and his uh as a matter of fact my wife just was diagnosed as having a cold nodule on her thyroid and was told that it was two and a half centimeters and that she would have to have surgery she went to three different endocrinologists specialists and each of them said that she would have to have surgery and that same day i met deepak the same day that i thought that my wife might have cancer they said it could be cancerous and they couldn’t take a chance and that very same day deepak and i were doing a program together in seattle and uh along with louise hay and shakti gawain and kriyananda and it was a very very special day and deepak and i and he came to me here is this man who’s a physician and who grew up you know studying under maharishi i mean just a brilliant man he and i’m ready to just bow to him and he’s bowing to me telling me how much he loves me and how much he appreciates my work and all that and we became like soul brothers i mean it was like like a man i experienced love for instantaneously and he invited marcy to come up to his uh ayurvedic medicine place up in lancaster massachusetts and she spent a week up there for the first time in 10 years that she was ever that she’s left alone that she has been away from the children away from me she went up there alone and our 16-year-old daughter we absolutely knew that she could handle this and she handled five children for a week and just became i mean a unbelievable mother from sort of a wild kind of teenager who likes to go out and be a teenager i mean to a totally completely responsible person because we believed that she could do it yes and my wife went up there for a week and and worked with epoch and he gave her herbs and oils and and cleansed her system she came back and in one week’s time tony she went to the back to the three endocrinologists and the cold nigel was gone it’s gone but she never believed for a second i mean it isn’t like she said oh maybe i have cancer but it wasn’t like that she absolutely said i’m not having surgery i’m not interested in this i know that i can i can do this i know i can get rid of this and all i have to do is just get my body balanced and that’s what ayurveda taught her that’s what the deepak so we’re doing a program together east meets west kind of like and he said to me since real interesting he said i came to the same conclusions about personal transformation and spirituality and and this divineness he said i was raised in that tradition and i went through medicine and i’m a scientist he said you grew up on the streets of detroit and uh and you came to the same kind of conclusions and and truth is truth yeah and it’s like here we are now talking about various levels of uh higher consciousness the different levels that you can reach in your life and uh it’s been magnificent it’s really been a joy to be uh to be associated with and that’s really the difference between now and then when you talk about the transformation the real difference is that i know i’m not alone now and i know that there’s a divineness that’s in all of us what triggered that knowingness because so many people know it intellectually but they don’t embody it emotionally i try to think of what it what you know like what because we’re always looking for things in the physical world that describe you know what it is that happened but there’s a there’s a word in uh zen tradition called satori we don’t have a translation for it in english because we don’t do it that’s a real good point yeah we don’t have a word we don’t have an experience right but it’s uh it’s like in japanese it’s called shibumi it’s a effortless perfection or uh instant awakening and where where you just have this this knowing and it’s it’s it’s like i can go back and i could give you right here a whole lot of circumstances that happened in my life when i went to my father’s grave but then it turns out that my i had all this hatred towards my father for all these years don’t run through this story because this is an important story yeah maybe you can share that with us because i know it was a profound experience in your life it truly was when was this first of all it was 1974 just before i wrote erroneous zones like months before i wrote erroneous sounds like days before i wrote earlier sounds had you seen him at any time since he left your family never saw him never never saw him he did he left and walked away with on a wife and three boys and never ever showed up again just let’s go do you want me to tell this yeah yeah it was uh i went down to columbus mississippi i was uh teaching at st john’s university in queens uh you were 14 no yeah and uh i uh it’s interesting i haven’t thought of this in quite a while i had a cousin all right who was uh my father’s sister’s child whose name was dorothy phillips who i uh had just met a couple of times uh they would never give any information about my father i was always looking for my father i spent a lot of time looking for my father why’d you want to find him i wanted to meet him in a bar i wanted to i had a fantasy of just going to a bar and sitting down and saying i’m your son let me and this was long before i became well known or anything this was just i just wanted to know who this guy was you know when his mother died i found out his mother died i went to the funeral and i was only 13.
i was the only one that went and i went only because i was hoping that he would show up you know just so i could meet him but he didn’t come wow anyway i spent a lot of time looking for him then i would always run out of money or or i would run out of desire or or i was just being guided to stay away because i know now see i can just interject that i know now because i i have conversations with my father and i can see my father in my meditations i mean he’s his soul is there and in many ways it guides me i mean i really think that his life was a lesson for me and how not to do things and so i’ve used it that way and i i see the blessing there but anyway 1974 rolls around i’m 34 years old and i go down to i’m invited to go to columbus mississippi to to do a an investigation of the uh the civil rights legislation that had been just passed in the 60s when johnson was president and to see whether some of these colleges in the south were abiding by them and i was just like a federal consultant and i would go on campus sort of incognito and i would sit in classes and i would write my report and then i would send it back and i agreed to do this for a weekend and dorothy meantime had called and left a message that uh she said i your father is dead and i didn’t know this happened and she said your father’s dead he died in new orleans and she gave me the date that he died and she said he’s been dead for a while and i was like it was a shock i called my mother i said did you know that i asked my nobody none of us knew that you know he’d been dead seven or eight years so i got down to columbus and i looked on a map and i was only 200 miles from new orleans and i called the infirmary where she she gave me the name of the infirmary and he was uh he was an indigent and they said they they found out that he you know he died of cirrhosis of the liver and he was 49 years old and they said we don’t have any record of where his body as an indigent was just shipped to uh um biloxi mississippi so i said i’m going to biloxi i don’t know i mean i was on a journey then and this was this was a spooky time for me and it’s it’s it gives me that kundalini feeling right now i feel it yeah it’s like i get very teary when i think about it and um i went to the uh rent-a-car place the national rent-a-car and there was only one rental car place and this is a dinky little town in mississippi at the mississippi state college for women i think it was and i went to the rent-a-car place and they had a uh they had one car and the car was a brand new car it was a nude it was a 1974 dodge coronet okay it was a blue and it had no miles on it zero zero zero point nine i said what did they make this car here how did this car get here and that car had been shipped in that day and i was the first person to drive the car and it was fact it was so new that the the plastic was on the seats all right and i had to take the plastic off of the the the cover just came out for him so i got in and there was no seat belt there was only one seat belt on the right hand side there was no left hand seat belt and they didn’t even have shoulder belts in those days so i got out of the car and i took this because i’ve got that sort of determination in me that i’m wearing a seat belt and i got out of the gun i took the seat right out of the car and put it on the on the ground and there was the other seat belt taped to the floorboard of the car and it was uh it was masking tapes and it was wrapped in plastic the buckle wrapped in all this plastic there was a rubber band around it and then it was taped to the floorboard obviously to protect it from cutting the upholstery in transit and i took all this stuff off of it and unwrapped it and all that and inside the buckle there’s a card and it says a business card inside the buckle of this brand new car there’s a true story and it said candlelight in biloxi mississippi so i took the card and i said that’s interesting i’m going to biloxi it’s 200 miles of a four-hour drive was on a friday afternoon i put the card in my pocket and i drove to uh down to biloxi and i didn’t think much about it like i picked up a hitchhiker on the way and a kid who was uh you know a migrant fruit picker and i took him uh someplace else and i went about an hour out of my way to take him somewhere and we finally got to uh to biloxi i got to biloxi and it was about 10 minutes to five on friday afternoon i think it was the 22nd of august readers i just did this in a story because so they checked out every detail of us okay i mean every detail oh and um i went to the phone book and uh in the gas station uh outside of biloxi when i said welcome to biloxi i went into the next s and i just looked under cemeteries i was just figuring he’s got to be buried in biloxi what else would they do with them you know and i didn’t realize that i was on a real journey at this time and i called the first cemetery and there was no answer in the second one it was busy and the third one was a real small listing like it was an inferior cemetery they didn’t bury them real deep or something but it was like real tiniest so i called it and it turns out it was just a cemetery plot on the back of another piece of property and an old man came to the phone and they kept their records in coca-cola can uh the boxes the coca-cola came in he had to go back he said we don’t have records here exactly i said i want to see if a melvin lyle dyer is buried here and he was gone for what seemed like an eternity but he came back and he said yes he said he’s buried here and my heart was just beating as fast as you could imagine i said well how do i get there i’m in biloxi and i want to come over that i really feel like i need this my father and i’ve never met him and he said well i got the death certificate right here he said he’s very he said your father’s buried in the grounds of the candle light in oh my gosh and he said just find that and it’s just inside of town and i reached into my pocket it was true and i took the card and on the back of the card is a uh a map imprinted on how to get to the candle light in i mean it’s printed like it’s got these arrows that go to and i was only six blocks away and i put it back and that’s when i started getting the bgb beaches or whatever you call that and i went to the the gravesite and this was in august of 1974 and i stood there i was 34 years old and i stood there and i was sobbing there was just a little plate on the ground it said melvin lyle dyer and i sobbed and i saw then i cried and i and i talked and i was there for two and a half hours it was almost like there was magnets on my feet i tried i couldn’t leave it was until 7 30 in fact there was no entrance there i just had which is a chain across there he asked me he said when you leave just put the chain up across because they didn’t want other vandals and that driving through there and i left there and what i did in that in that time which was so significant for me is why i think of it as an event that was that was like an unfolding in my life yeah it was a spiritual awakening it was like i forgave my father that’s that’s what i had to do and i think of forgiveness i mean i’ve studied this now and i wrote a whole chapter about it and you’ll see it when you believe it forgiveness mark twain had a wonderful definition of it he said forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it isn’t that beautiful that’s amazing and it’s like i think of forgiveness it’s like a snake bite you know it’s like you you get bit by a snake and you can’t unbite yourself i mean but nobody ever died from a snake bite a snake bite doesn’t kill you it’s just a bite you know and we get bit all the time in all different metaphorical ways what kills you isn’t the bite it’s the venom yeah that circulates after the bite well well mentally or metaphysically the venom that circulates in you after the bite after the things that have been done to you is the hatred and the anger and the unforgiveness and the you think of christ on a cross and you think of a soldier remember the king of kings i’ll never forget that and then father forgive them for they know not what they do what he’s really saying there is they don’t know that they’re throwing a spear into themselves when they throw a spear into me that we’re all connected that we’re all one and until you get rid of that venom it will destroy you so whatever it was that i was carrying around towards my father which was being manifested in all kinds of conscious and unconscious ways in my life i let it go in that moment and it was like my father was there with me tony i mean he was just and he is he’s with me now i mean in fact he’s very i can feel like he’s here now as as we speak always and always saying to me like where i am there’s no judgment you know there’s there’s so there’s no good or bad here there’s no right or wrong in this there’s just like uh tell my story if it’s going to help somebody to forgive somebody you know and that was my purpose and every time i do something that is generous and loving and good and helpful to other people i feel like my father’s smiling on me and and once i forgave him it’s funny because in my life at that time i was that’s when i was getting divorced i was going through a struggle that’s when i was overweight like 25 or 30 pounds i was i wasn’t running i didn’t start running till the year after that and my writing was really suffering i was writing professional article stuff just to publish or perish okay that’s where i was i was trying to get published in different professional magazines and all that kind of thing and i’d send stuff in it’s just stuff that you know you wouldn’t want to read because it was just quoting everything else and you know the kind of professional stuff that everybody does they write to each other nobody else reads it and then when you do write something that appears in family circle or reader’s digest or whatever or even the national inquiry five million people read it i mean give me five million neurotic people reading the employer to fix rather than a whole bunch of people who are just going to write back in another letter to me only in the form of another article so i let all of that go and i went back and erroneous zones i wrote in 18 days and 18 days wow 18 days and there’s 22 million of those in print today you know that’s amazing now it didn’t take off right away you had to take it didn’t take off at all no it’s they had one printing and they expected it to do very little and uh they met their expectations they were they told me they had what they call a list mentality they said this is the list you’re on the phone on the march list and it’s a clever little title and it’s a nice little book and if if we sell the books that are on our list they had a printing first printing of 3 500 then then we’ll be happy and you’ll make a little money we’ll make a loan then we’ll move on to the next list in april and and so on and that was the mentality that’s a big part of the mentality in publishing today as you as you know so i just said well what will happen if the first printing sells out just if i know it won’t i mean that’s what you’re saying but just if his name was luke all right and lou said wait he said you’re an unknown he said it’s a 3 500 books on hardcover at 7 6.
95 i mean that was like an outrageous price to put on the book at that time i said but just if and he said uh well if they do we’ll have to put a second printing i said okay fine and so i became they wouldn’t let me buy them i tried to buy they wouldn’t let me so i became a bookstore i was in new york at the time and all you have to do to become a bookstore is give them a number in albany and you’re a bookstore so i became a bookstore by just giving them a a tax number and and through that tax number which i gave them the address of the bookstore that my garage was to become in long island it’s true and i called that day and i ordered 3 350 copies of your erroneous zones and they were shipped they were shipped to the ground i sold it out i sold it and i went back to lou two days later i said lou what will happen if we if we do so he said wayne you’ve got to stop bothering me it’s like you’re another one of these beginning authors i said well just check just check the computer just see how it’s doing because i said i’ve been doing a lot of speaking and i think and he went to his computer it’s a true story i could even tell you his last name and he went to the computer he said oh my god this book is doing fantastic we’ve sold out the whole first printing so they ordered a second printing 1500 they didn’t want to take too much of it i bought all those up too i bought the second printing and by that time they didn’t have any money for distribution they didn’t have any advertising money they didn’t have any of that they just because they just didn’t do that in those days so i said i’m going on the road and i quit my job as a professor at st john’s i walked in and i had you know i had all these publication credits and i was like a rising star there and they said uh you’re insane you’ve got guaranteed tenure for the rest of your life you’ve got a poison yeah you can be you can argue for your misery for the rest of your life and uh and i i resigned and everybody thought i was nuts except my wife and i we both knew that this was this was the right thing the day i resigned from doing something that i no longer wanted was totally involved in i was good at it but i didn’t want to do it it was like drill you know i mean after you’ve drilled enough sure just enough drill is a drill okay but you don’t need to keep doing it i learned that in the military so uh i i walked i drove home on the long island expressway that day the freest man i’d ever felt i knew i was about to follow my bliss i really knew it and i didn’t have any guarantee of any income or anything the interesting thing about that is that uh in the following year and a half i made more money i was 36 years old now at that time i made more money without even trying i never thought for a minute that i would make money because i hadn’t made any money on anything i’d written yet that wasn’t that i was like yeah i wasn’t writing for money i was writing because writing was just something that i that’s how i expressed myself it’s just who i am and i made more money in the next 18 months than i had made in the previous 35 years of my life like by 10 by a factor of 10.
and uh you’re just going out sharing your philosophy with radio stations i took the books in a station wagon across the country and i i would this is the way i did it if you want to know how i did it i would arrive in a town like uh columbus ohio where they have these they have good morning columbus on the radio you know and if you’ve got a new avocado dip you’re on for an hour you know i mean they’re looking for people okay every station’s got to talk so you just have to find out who and i had a girl back in chic in new york named donna gould who was working for the publisher but was willing to work for nothing at night for just because she loved erroneous zones and loved me and loved the the whole thing i mean she was just involved in the whole process she really loved it and so she would call these different stations and all that and book me uh i’m good morning columbus and good afternoon columbus and hello columbus and goodbye columbus and you know and all of this kind of thing and yeah and i would uh i would have my car full of books i would arrive in columbus i was sleeping in the car i mean i did this i had no money to do this right and i would sneak showers i would figure out how to take free showers you know and then days ins and things you know but you would have committed that was your wife traveling oh yeah it was sometimes sometimes sometimes she was also working wow and um i would go to the bookstores and first i would telephone them on uh call them up and i’d say uh if you got a book called your erroneous numbers and i would do it in like nine different dialects you’ve had i do it in german and i do it in dutch and then my wife was with me she would call and i’d get these people to call and ask for erroneous it’s true this is exactly what we did shame creation i love it and and but i knew i was going to create the demand i mean i didn’t think i was doing any anything you know immoral i was just creating the demands for what it was that i believed in yeah besides i had 5 000 books i had to get rid of because i had no distribution at all so you were what we call committed i was totally involved in the process and then i would go on the air okay and and i would do what we’re doing now yeah i never tried to sell my books i never gave the title out i never said oh by the way my new book is called and oh yes my book is this and you’ve seen this on the air and every time somebody does that you say well they’re you know they’re not involved in it they’re just trying to sell me something and you move away i didn’t do that i was just selling myself as a person i was just talking like we’re talking and when people talk and are committed and are involved and are authentic and are enthusiastic about what they’re saying people respond people want to know more yeah they just want to know more it’s why i let everybody tape all my talks i never deny anybody to take my to this day in fact i not only allow it i insist on it and i don’t take a cent for it any time i speak i say if i’m on purpose rather than an outcome if i’m on purpose and in the process then my purpose is to get the message out that’s where i’ve got to be centrally focused not on what’s going to come back to me not on royalties not just on that so i allow every tour every organization you can take me and you can do anything you want with the tapes anything you want you want to sell them to your customers and all of that just don’t put them into bookstores and make a legal conflict for me just legal problems sure but otherwise do anything you want with them because i figure all that can happen is something good what can happen somebody here’s an interview of mine other than they say gee i want to hear more of that guy and off they go to the bookstore or off they do they call for the tapes and all nothing but good can happen and then you keep circulating and so on so i mean i learned that about three years ago when my agent kept saying that you can’t tape wayne dyer now i have a clause in there that says i insist that you tape me and do whatever you want with the tape that’s true so so i was like on that process then i would finish at the interview and i would go to the same bookstore and i’d say by the way i’m here in columbus the little professor bookstore this is one of them i can remember very well and i said i just did am columbus and i’m going to do this afternoon columbus and i’m going to do all of this and the guy said my god we’ve already had 10 phone calls well i knew i made that and i said well can i just leave 25 of my books here and if they don’t sell then uh you can send them back to me and here’s the address and it won’t cost you anything just send it back to you sure he said absolutely we’ve already had calls for it and sure enough they were getting calls people were going in there sure and and that’s how i distributed my book from i did that in columbus i did that in baltimore i did that in jacksonville i did it in tampa i did it i went to every almost every i shouldn’t say every state but i went to about 75 percent of the states in the country at my own expense in my own little car six months on the road and then finally the book hit the best seller list and it was interesting because the tonight show was the show that everybody wanted to get on in those days that’s when it was an hour to yes and that story is so phenomenal i don’t know how our time is horrifying the the story of getting on that show because my donna was always trying to get me on the show again she called it tonight so she’d call him and she’d call him and they’d say if we hear the name one wayne dyer one more time i’m not turns out that a friend of mine now very good friend named howard pappas was working on the show as and someone had placed a copy of erroneous owns in his uh briefcase and he was flying back to to los angeles and he happened to pick out that book and read it on the plane well he called me and he asked me if i would be willing to fly out to los angeles and do a pre-interview for the tonight show i said no i’m busy putting up my screens i can’t do that what do you what do you mean can i come out to los angeles sure enough i flew out to los angeles and i went out there and it’s so interesting when you’re when you get off of trying to get something and just stay on purpose it’s that great quote from thoreau if you advance confidently in the direction of your own dreams endeavor to live the life which you’ve imagined you will meet with a success unexpected in common hours you want to talk about an unexpected thing i couldn’t get on one national show tony i couldn’t get on the donny who sure couldn’t get on the today show i couldn’t get these are all shows that i’ve done a hundred times since but i couldn’t get on any of them because they said that you know who i am yeah and i was forcing that’s right i was pushing it but there’s another way to reach everybody in the country and that’s to go to everybody in the country if they won’t put you on network television you can still go out there and do it if you’re committed to wanting to do it so i go out there and i do the pre-interview and it’s a it’s the it’s the republican national convention 1976 kansas city bob dole is going to give the uh the keynote address now i had such a uh an angry feeling towards bob dole because i got on the show okay i got on the show from the result of the pre-interview and shecky green was the host you know who shecky green is a great great comedian in las vegas super super guy one of the nicest guys in the world and uh he’s very fun there’s a thousand different dialects you must you get to meet he’s a great guy and he was hosting the show and he asked me if i would uh you know so i get on the show all right but it’s monday but the show for the first time in the history of the tonight show gets pre-empted because bob dole instead of giving a 45-minute speech gives a two-hour speech and it goes over and the show’s preempted so i fly back to detroit where i’m back there with my wife and i find out that the show’s preempted and i’m all excited i’m telling everybody that in the world that i know that i’m on the tonight show that night and it gets preempted so you know it’s like out one door yeah another door opens the other door opens it always works this way when you are when you’re doing what you’re supposed to and getting off so that was monday night tuesday johnny carson comes in to his meeting with howard and all of them and says and they said we had a guest on last night that was fabulous they said the audience just went crazy over and carson said uh well if he was that good he said i’d like to have them on before they show that preempted show which was scheduled for a week from the following monday they were going to just set it in so i get another call from uh will you fly back this time when i fly back there’s a limo and i got a first-class ticket and i’ve got my own dressing room the first time i went in there it’s like you can dress in the toilet over here now and they’re pressing my clothes and they’re cutting my hair which is really like a you know not a big job you know i charge for a search fee when they do mine so uh so i go on the show on wednesday night this is like two nights later and i go on with carson and carson says and we we only have maybe uh seven or eight minutes it was just great it was super he was so good to me and he said to me you know this isn’t enough time for this this is really terrific he said could you stay over till friday oh my gosh and do the show again on friday because you know he checked with freddie the corner and i said no i said no screens i can’t do it i got it so i stayed over until friday did the show on friday the preempted show showed on monday and from not having any national exposure at all across the country i went from just doing am columbus and all these shows all all over to getting that three network appearances in five days wow and the book went from it was on the bestseller list at that time before i hit the carson show for the first time i got it on the on the bestseller list by just going across the country as an unknown i got on the tonight show did it three times in five days the donahue show started calling us the you know i did the donahue show three or four times there and then the uh the today show and it’s and it became a you know it became like the biggest well became the biggest bestseller of the 70s it was the top selling book for the entire decade and it was all because i was advancing i was doing what made sense to me you know today i don’t do that today i don’t i don’t go out and and do it that way i do it another i trust it’ll all work out in another way i know you’ve built you’ve built it also but i think it’s really i really appreciate you sharing the story because a lot of times i think people have interpreted your philosophy to mean just let things happen and the truth is you’re surrendering but your act is it’s faith with work as you think so shall you be right okay so you act upon what you think about if you’re thinking about what’s missing if you’re thinking about the scarcity in your life if you’re thinking about what’s wrong if you’re thinking about what you don’t have if that’s where your thoughts are and what you’re constantly thinking about and processing your world that way then that will be what you have to act on you have to act on what’s missing it’s just like in a relationship if you think about what you don’t like about somebody in a relationship then you have to act upon that your relationship is really not located in another person it’s located in you where everything is located in that invisible part of you do you know what everybody said about the reason why erroneous zones were so successful it was the it was the 70s it was the me generation it was the exact right timing dyer was lucky he hit it at the right they don’t know how many but then i put 45 000 miles on my car one summer you know and that i went out and bought all of those books and all that it’s like successful people are very very lucky just ask any failure they’ll confirm it for you this is true this is true what is the most important you’ve shared a couple of lessons but if you’re going to say the most important say three lessons you’ve got in the last 10 years that you would share with people what are they i know it’s at the top and that is you become what you think about if you want love in your life um send love out have love within you be loving yeah if it’s like i think of the orange i always give the analogy if you squeeze an orange what comes out is what’s inside it doesn’t matter who squeezes it or what time of day or what instrument you use or what the circumstances are you can only get out of an orange what’s inside and if you extend the metaphor to yourself and someone squeezes you that just puts pressure on you or says something or whatever behaves in a way towards you that you find objectionable and out of you comes anger or hatred or tension or stress or bitterness or any of that it isn’t because of who did the squeezing or the circumstance it has nothing to do with that as much as we like to convince ourselves of that it’s because that’s what’s inside and what’s inside is always within our own control i think the second thing is that robert frost said we all sit around in a ring and suppose while the secret sits in the center and knows and what the secret in the center that knows is is what it is that constitutes your very life it’s like um this room we’re in right now is only a room not because of the walls and the configuration and all the form that’s in here it’s because of this here that that neither one of us can get a hold of this silent empty invisible space surrounded by form that’s what like in zen they say it’s the space between the bars that holds the tiger and it’s the silence between the notes that makes the music see music isn’t notes it’s silence between notes you aren’t form that isn’t what makes you who you are what makes you who you are is the invisibleness surrounded by form that’s the secret that sits in the center and knows once you know that and make contact with that and realize that that is that is who you are that it is it is out of nothingness it is out of emptiness it is out of that silent empty space that you create every thought every sound when you go to make a sound the sound comes from that nothingness you know so nothingness what we call nothingness which is everythingness which is the dao you know and the dao that can be described is not the dao you can’t describe it it just is it’s it’s it’s in every one of us once you know that and go there and consult that then you can not only affect your own physical life but you can truly affect the physical life outside of you deepak and i were having lunch deepak chopra and i were having lunch up in seattle this day and we talked about doing this new program we talked about there are four ways that we were just playing toy we said there are four ways to get strawberry ice cream so let’s think of the four ways to get strawberry ice cream you know and he talks in this very wonderful indian accent in an indian accent in india you know i thought with a funny detroit accent you know and there’s a there’s a lot more people in india than there are here so we’re talking about what are the four ways to get strawberry ice cream and i said well if i want strawberries i just have to have a thought and the thought is i want some strawberry ice cream now i’ll just go get it okay so i go off to haagen-dazs or i go to the grocery store and i get so that’s like a thought and then you act on the thought now there’s a second way to get strawberry ice cream and that is to have a thought and then to send one of your kids to get some ice cream it’s called slavery okay i want some strawberries you can go get it for you so you have a thought and then somebody else goes and gets it for you that’s the second way to get strawberries a little higher level consciousness you don’t have to work so hard it’s got somebody else doing it for you there’s a third way to get strawberry ice cream and the third way to get strawberry ice cream was to deepak offered he said you just think i’d like to have some strawberry ice cream and then someone walks by and says uh excuse me is this your strawberry ice cream and you say wow i was just thinking of that and i was like everybody listening has had that experience absolutely you just think of you think of your sister and you haven’t seen her in seven years and all of a sudden she’s calling you or whatever and it’s like you have affected you don’t think you have you just think that’s some hands that’s some coincidence but we know that there’s no that there’s no chaos that there’s order in chaos at the sub-atomic level we know that so it’s like you think of something and then it just it just appears for you and people say well if there’s three ways what could be the fourth and and we’ve seen they say well let’s see i’d like to have some strawberry ice cream and you manifest it yes you just manifest yes or as christ said even the least among you can do all that i have done and even greater things i mean the gift of fish and loaves the gift of feeding others the gift of and what do you do when you go to sleep and when you’re in pure thought but everything you need for your dream you manifest so you need a lamborghini you need someone to chase you with a knife you need a father that’s going to abuse you you need you whatever characters you need for your dream you create it now when you wake from your dream you don’t look back at your dream and say where’s my lamborghini because listen folks everybody knows it’s neurotic to be attached to an illusion that’s beautiful i mean why would anybody be so all you have to do to learn not to be attached to this illusion is to die while you’re alive you know that’s what the sufi say when you die while you’re alive you look back on your life and you realize that you can’t own anything you can’t have any of it so what you do is you detach yourself from it and the more you detach yourself from it the more you get and that’s the great lesson what who is wayne dyer i know he’s a spiritual being but what are your metaphors for yourself who are you besides that metaphor and metaphor so all-inclusive yeah my metaphor is that i am not in the world the world is in me i really i really i really feel that that that the uh that in every cell of my being the universe exists it’s like i’m on like a pharmacy i mean i can create what do i need for to heal this body for example if healing is what i’m talking about who wayne dyer is is this uh ability to if i need value to create it deep tells me the story of when he went to when he went to london and there was a guy next to him drinking uh he had eight drinks before he had gotten halfway there and finally he said to him he said look he said you’re my buddy he said i’m gonna buy you a drink and deepak said to him i’m making my own and it’s like knowing that i know that who i am is those birds you hear out here right now i mean when i when i see them flying i soar with them that’s who i am i am all of it i mean i’m not i’m not separate i’m not even separate from you like i said before like i can wiggle this finger because i believe that there’s a connection between some kind of a thought which is invisible and the wiggling of this finger but i can’t see that connection i can’t get a hold of that and if i believe in the oneness of it all that means that if you can wiggle your finger that same oneness is there i’ve got to detach myself from my separateness and believe that that i can’t be you i i am at all i am i am the sun that comes up in the morning i am the birds that that fly i am the flower i am that that invisible force that is in every living thing that allows it to be how do you help somebody who sees themselves as separate not only from life but every sense of life how do you help somebody like that to bridge the gap to where they remember who they really are the only way you can do it i think and i’ve been at this business a long time of trying to help people and writing books about it a lot of books i wrote long before erroneous zones that were about counseling and it was a therapist for years i think that the the notion of that when the student is ready the teachers will appear so it’s like all i can do is help people to be to get ready that’s all i can do and see i mean i picked up the bhagavad gita three years ago okay now i had i’ve had the bhagavad gita in my library since i was in college but i’ve never read it and i’ve seen it on you know i’ve seen it a hundred times so finally one day i’m here and i pick up the bhagavad gita and i read it and i say to myself it’s about time they wrote something like this this is really terrific then i see that it’s it’s about 2500 years old they’re six thousand years old or whatever it is all right and so but it’s been there all along yeah but i wasn’t ready but when i’m ready it’s like it soars into my life and i go to the mailbox and what i need is is ready it’s like we were talking about earlier when i need to give a speech and and i need to recite a poem all right or even with prosperity if i’m feeling like i need to have more more money or to more my investments to be but just like it all gets the right person shows up and the right thing it all gets handled it’s like trusting your intuition and knowing that everybody has it so all you can do is help people to get convinced that they have this power within them that it isn’t something i have and you don’t it’s something that you have but you haven’t used yet and the fact that you haven’t used it yet is no reason to judge yourself badly or even to be mad at yourself you ought to be saying i haven’t been ready you know now i am and as soon as you acknowledge that you’re ready when the student is ready then you’ll find your teachers appearing and your teacher might be like my little kids who walked into your room yes or when john asked me said will you do this interview my first inclination was no i am here doing something else i’m here with my family and all that and then i got this uh i meditated on it and i got this really nice letter and it was like and i thought i’ve got to talk to tony i’ve been wanting to talk to tony yeah and tony’s got something to to learn from me and i’ve got something to learn from tony so the opportunity is here and we we’ve we’ve like missed each other on a lot of occasions um we’ve been with each other but we’ve also missed we’ve been on the same programs in the same cities where you spoke in the morning and i spoke in the evening and you’ve been gone and i’ve been gone and we’ve been sort of like uh being thrown at each other but just sort of missing and i said we both got something to learn from each other so let’s let’s do that i’ve heard some things about you from other people that i didn’t like you’ve probably heard some things about me that you i said the way that you get it all in harmony is that you don’t ignore it you don’t you go with each other so you walk into my house and my children are in love with you in a second you you emit a a beautiful kind of spirituality i see that whatever you are going through in your life with the with i know there are struggles with uh with your fame i mean you’ve come very young very fast very very powerful and and i’ve got an enormous organization about you and i wanted to say to you i don’t want you to get swallowed up by it you know i want i want the essential beauty that is within you to to flower and to some sometimes you have to say i said that’s one of the things you got to say is no and i i like to say it but i’m not as good at it but i’m a lot better at it than i used to be so it’s like what i’m saying is there’s a mutual thing here there’s like i appreciate the gift yeah very much yeah and it’s for and likewise i appreciate the gift of being with you and so i just let go of of all of the other stuff i said this is this is a wonderful opportunity let’s let’s do it and you know where that came from that came from from nothingness that didn’t come from from anybody telling me how to do it or what i said that came from a a trust came from my own intuition yeah trust surrender yeah but but my intuition said see i told my wife when i got that i said i’m not doing any interviews i said i’m not doing this you know and she said you keep saying that i mean think she protested too much i said but i’m not doing any interviews you know and then she said read read the letter and i and i read the letter and and i said she said what does your intuition say what is god telling you you know what is it what is god telling you you know how may i serve that’s my mantra how may i serve how may i serve how may i serve always ask that not what’s in it for me but how may i say and and as i as i kept saying that i said my intuition says do it she said call him and do it and that i have another thanks to make when i go downstairs so but we do that with each other all the time it’s like that and that it’s like trusting that intuition you know it’s a it’s it’s a very very powerful thing and it’s like it never ever guides you wrong the only time i’ve in all my investments that i’ve made since and i have a whole financial philosophy of giving a certain percentage of it away away unconditionally and and also paying yourself first you know it’s like reinvesting what you make back in in yourself and in your family and all that the only time i’ve ever taken a loss financially in any of my investments was when i ignored my intuition once and i invested in something that was not conducive to the environment all right i don’t even want to say what it was because it’s neither my purpose to plug in or to to blame anything else but my intuition said no wayne this isn’t they’re they’re doing something that isn’t conflicts with what you believe right but the yields were high and they were guaranteed and it was like and i’d put 155 000 into this thing and they they went bankrupt and i lost that 155 but i gained something to say because you never forget those lessons yeah it was a great lesson and since then i’ve only every time i invest anything i always ask where is this money going what’s it going to be doing and then it just comes back to me like 10 fold so it’s all been made up in many many ways so it’s like i ignored my intuition once and i and i paid a price but i learned it was a great lesson it was a terrific lesson what’s the purpose of life purpose of life is real simple for me it’s uh joel goldsmith has a wonderful book called parentheses and eternity and you are a parenthesis he says your life is a parenthesis in eternity it opens at your conception it closes at your uh death but eternity surrounds it so that there was an instant before you came into form if you believe in eternity in which you went from formless to form the question to ask is not how did i do it did i sign up for it did god do it is it a big bang theory which is an interesting metaphor or is it or whatever it’s like don’t ask that question because that’s like that’s just trying to analyze that is to break apart something that is not breakable the dao is trying to understand the doubt to ask the question why why would you go from formless to form the answer to that is so simple for me it’s like i used to wonder about that all the time and now it’s like so simple you can’t get anything while you’re here in this parentheses you can’t have a thing you think you can own it you don’t get any of it the jewelry that adorns you adorns another in another instant the house that you own the cars that all that kind of stuff that’s like that’s just all like a little loan and a little lease and then it’s it’s gone and if you get attached to it anyway it’ll destroy you so you can’t have anything so if you can’t have anything if you can’t get anything while you’re here then purpose must have something to do with with giving rather than getting and to me the purpose of life is to give the purpose of life is to enrich the lives of others in some way the measure of your life will not be in the duration of your life it will be measured in the donations of your life okay what you are able to give of yourself because you can’t get anything the only thing you can do with your life is give it away you can just give it away every day your form deteriorates a little more it’s heading towards the closing of parentheses and once you know that then you know that you can’t have anything you can’t stop that nobody can stop that so all you can do is just keep giving your and the more you give away the more that comes back what goes around comes around is not just a funny little song title it is a powerful powerful message and understanding it basically shifts the quality of life well sure it’s like getting your life on purpose if your purpose of life is to give then get your life on purpose and get everything that you do on purpose if you’re driving a cab don’t be thinking about how much of a fare you’re going to get think about how can i serve this person and let the fare take care of itself if you’re a salesperson and you’re thinking about my quotas and what i’m gonna get you’re not on purpose if you’re thinking about the quotas of the person you’re serving that person is gonna send you 21 names tomorrow of people that they want you to serve as well it’s like the more you give in anything that you do if you’re a dentist don’t think about how much money you can make think about making this person’s tooth and his mouth as healthy as it can be the universe will take care of the rest purpose means giving not getting and once you get that and and it’s like that’s how you have to orient your whole business that’s how i’ve oriented my entire business of uh my books do you know that everybody who writes me a letter gets a book fantastic no charge whatsoever no expectations no nothing and anybody who writes me and says this tape didn’t work they get a free set you know i don’t know i don’t it doesn’t make any difference i don’t want to hear about it somebody wrote me a letter from seattle and they came all the way over to hear me at that program that i was on that i mentioned i was the keynote speaker i was the last speaker and they had to go back because their father was sick and they spent a hundred dollars and they couldn’t and they were very upset i sent her the hundred dollars and the set of the tapes of the whole day it’s like that’s what i believe in doing except when people tell me i have to do it i was gonna say i think there’s one organizing principle for you and that’s freedom that’s right it’s because a gift is not a gift when it’s somebody telling you what to do then it’s that way they expect it that’s a debt yeah and i don’t want any debts we live by the same philosophy there so if you demand for me that i give you something or tell me that i have to give it to you you’re not giving me an opportunity to give you’re just giving me a debt and i’ve got enough of those yeah this is wonderful it’s been great it’s been a great interview yeah really nice and it’s like it gives us a connection you know yeah what makes uh wayne dyer laugh i’d be curious because i know you’re easy to smile and laugh but what really what gives you the most tickle the most joy in your life i think myself i think i make my myself laugh and i laugh at myself i really feel yeah i really see the folly of it all i mean if you ever listen to me speak in public most of my laughs are just like poking fun at myself yeah i poke fun at not having any hair i’ve been using that for a year you know i just told you this is not really a bald head it’s a solar panel for a sex machine you know and those kinds of things and also my children my children really make me laugh my baby especially i mean when they’re babies especially because babies are i mean under say two you know they they make me laugh my little boy i only have one little boy uh and and six daughters and uh that little guy just you know last night i mean at 11 o’clock at night we were we were both laughing so hard in the bed in my little studio that’s where we go down and sleep at night and just telling stories i asked him that he always says tell me a scary story he said will you tell me one and he i mean he just made up the funniest craziest kind of children make me laugh animals make me laugh but i i really i really laugh at uh at the folly of it all i mean uh so many people think that we come into this world and we have just this short time and then it’s over and there’s no there’s no joy there’s no laughter in that to me i mean i’m i’m laughing at someone once said that he said i don’t try to make uh my audience laugh he said i try to make god laugh you know that’s great and i really like that it’s nice guys yeah i think he’s laughing all the time yeah that’s right yeah there’s there’s a wonderful story that yogananda tells of uh of a black man in the south back in the uh 40s and 50s when it was really really terrible down there for and he worked in a white church an all-white baptist church where they wouldn’t allow but he was the janitor and they wouldn’t allow any uh any black people to come in and worship and over and over he would ask the minister couldn’t i just come in and worship with you on sunday that’s all i really want to do and the ministry said to him over and over again i can’t let you do that i would lose my job i would like to but i can’t so finally he went and got into deep prayer and in his deep prayer he asked jesus you know why why christ why can’t i just pray with those same people where i work every sunday and jesus responded to him i’ve been trying to get into that church for 20 years and they won’t even let me in [Laughter] and it’s like it’s a metaphor like i think that they’re praying to me but i can’t even get in so it’s churchill had a great one of the great lines of all time we’ll talk about humor and great people he was a man that i really admired i remember the day he died i was teaching at a uh in a school in detroit at persian high school in the inner city and uh churchill was in the hospital and he was uh prime minister in 1945 and just after the war was over he was having such a struggle with parliament and all that and he had to go into the hospital for surgery and a nurse came in and she was she had to give him a bedpan because he couldn’t get out of bed and she was carrying out his bedpan and and he started laughing uproariously and she said what in the world are you laughing about and he said i was just thinking that that’s the first movement of mine that’s been carried out since i’ve been prime minister that was kind of you know like all of the great ones i have that kind of a sense of humor that makes me laugh in those moments how do you want to be remembered i i don’t care if i am yeah i had a feeling that would be yeah i really i’ve thought about that and i just do you want to be remembered by your children it doesn’t matter yeah i just want to be with them while i’m here and uh and love them and uh and be as loving as i can and and then whatever they do with it will be what they do with it whatever see i always tell my children that uh that your reputation is uh is not in your hands like you you and i both have a a very public reputation right but i’ve heard some wonderful things about you and i’ve heard some really scabby things about you and and vice versa right but it’s not your your reputation is located in all the other people if you give a talk to two thousand people you got two thousand reputations that’s true and you have no control over it whatsoever you go to school i tell my children you go to school there’s 30 kids in your class and there’s you’ve got 30 reputations every day you have the only thing you have control over is your character and that that is yours so it’s like when you do go out into the world don’t be concerned about how you’ll be remembered because that’s just going to be if there’s 10 million people exposed to you there’s going to be 10 million remembrances that’s true you