Tony Robbins | Why we do what we do (Key Points Version)
I’ve had an obsession basically for 30 years and that obsession has been what makes the difference in the quality of people’s lives? What’s the difference in somebody’s life if you look at somebody like those people that you’ve given everything to.
Like all the resources they say they need. You give them not a 100 dollar computer you give them the best computer, you give them love, you give them joy, you were there to comfort them. And then you meet people that have been through ultimate pain.
Psychologically, spiritually, sexually, emotionally abused- and not always, but often they become some of the people that contribute the most to society. You may not have the money, but that is not the defining factor.
The defining factor is never resources, it’s resourcefulness. We can get ourselves to do anything, we can get through- if you’re creative enough, playful enough, fun enough, can you get through to anybody, yes or no? What determines your resources, we’ve said decisions shape destiny, which is my focus here.
If decisions shape destiny, what determines it is 3 decisions, what are you going to focus on? The minute you decide to focus on something, you got to give it a meaning. An emotion then creates what we’re gonna do or the action.
In the last 5 or 10 years, 15 years, haven’t there have been some decisions you’ve made that if you’d made a different decision, your life would be completely different? Or being in a position like Lance Armstrong and someone says to you you’ve got testicular cancer, but what was his decision what to focus on? What did it mean? It wasn’t the end, it was the beginning.
What am I gonna do? He goes off and wins seven championships he never won once before the cancer because he got emotional fitness. So, what shapes Lance, what shapes you? #1 State. We all have had times, have you had a time you did something and after you did it you thought to yourself “I can’t believe I said that! I can’t believe I did that! That was so stupid!” It wasn’t your ability, it was your state.
Your model of the world is what shapes you long term. And it’s made up of 3 points I believe: First, what’s your target? What are you after? So, it’s needs we have. I believe there are six human needs.
Second, once you know what the target that’s driving you is and you uncover it, then you find out what’s your map. What’s the belief systems that are telling you how to get those needs. Some people think the way to get those needs is to destroy the world, some people is to build something, create something, love someone.
Six needs, let me tell you what they are. First one, certainty. Everyone needs certainty that they can avoid pain and at least be comfortable. But, while we go for certainty, if we get total certainty we get what? Bored out of your minds! So god, in her infinite wisdom, gave us a second human need which is uncertainty.
We need variety. Third human need, critical: Significance. We all need to feel important, special, unique. You can get it by making more money, you can do it by being more spiritual. Here’s what we really need: Connection and Love, fourth need.
We can do it through intimacy, through friendship. The last two: Number 5 you must grow. If a relationship is not growing, if a business is not growing, if you’re not growing, it doesn’t matter how much money you have, how many friends you have, you feel like hell! And the reason we grow, I believe is so we have something to give of value.
Cause the sixth need is to contribute beyond ourselves. The second piece is the map. Some people’s map is I’m going to save lives even if I die for other people and there are firemen, somebody else’s is I’m gonna kill people to do it.
They’re trying to meet the same needs of significance. The last thing is emotion. How many of you know somebody who, no matter what happens find a way to be happy or excited? How of you know somebody like this? Come on! Explore your web, the web in here- the needs, the beliefs, the emotions that are controlling you.
For 2 reasons, so there is more of you to give and secondly so you can appreciate what’s driving other people. It’s the only way our world’s gonna change. God bless you, thank you.