Tony Robbins The Keys To Massive Success 2015

Tony Robbins The Keys To Massive Success 2015

hi it’s Tony Robbins Happy New Year listen how’s your new year coming out so far it’s early its January 15th and I thought I’d send you out this little video message because you know what that day means don’t you January 15th is the cutoff statistics show that 95% of the people that actually made a new year’s resolution have already broken it by today and that’s if you even made a resolution now if you’re the exception to that I’m thrilled for you and I support you and I say keep rocking it but if you’ve missed maybe I could drop you a quick little message or two here that can help you not only recover but get way beyond just making some new year’s resolution and make some real lasting change in your life I mean think about it most people don’t even make a resolution anymore why because they’ve made them from years and years and years and they know they’re not gonna follow through so after a while who wants to disappoint yourself who wants to be upset with yourself why even bother to set a new standard for this year you know it’s gonna be the same as last year if you’re the kind of person watching this right now and you’ve actually opened this email and you haven’t shut me off already then obviously that’s not you so the question is you know what is it that makes us even want to make a resolution interesting question why is it at the beginning of the year we have this tradition but it goes beyond tradition it’s something inside of us that makes us want to make things better and I think part of it is the calendar gives us this idea that we can have a fresh start that we can start from fresh and have this great victory and it’s really the calendar itself is quite arbitrary it’s wonderful to use it but if you didn’t use it effectively let’s use the calendar to serve you today let’s just see what does it really take to make this thing happen because there’s no denying that inside of you the only thing that’s gonna make you happy and the your head and the decades ahead it’s gonna be having you of an experience where on a regular basis you feel like your life is making progress if there’s one thing I teach and I want to remind you of it it’s really simple things getting things is not gonna make you happy that’s good news in a tough economy it’s a good reminder you know doesn’t matter what you get doesn’t matter whether it be money or opportunity all those things might excite you for the moment you know even a relationship as magnificent it may be might be exciting for a while but if you don’t keep growing that relationship isn’t going to stay exciting so the secret to real happiness is ress progress equals happiness and if we can make progress on a regular basis we feel alive and that’s why at the beginning of the year we get this thing like okay I could have this fresh start I could really do what my soul desires I could expand I could grow I could improve I could change or maybe better than change I could progress see think about that progress isn’t aliveness – it doesn’t it you don’t have to work at changing people say all the time that allow I’m working on changing don’t worry about it if the work on changing changes automatic your body’s gonna change whether you want it or not as the years go by you no matter how hard you work there’s gonna be some changes going on there and the economy is gonna change no matter what you want it to do the weather is gonna change relationships are gonna change everything in life has always changed you won’t have to work on change change is automatic but progress is not so if you want to make real progress then you really got to look at your life in a different way you gotta say I gotta take control of this process and not just hope that’s gonna work out like people do who make a resolution cuz really isn’t that what they’re really doing at the beginning of the year they’re saying well here’s my resolutions for the year and they really basically tell you their wishes it’s their wish list it’s what they hope it all comes together and then they call it a resolution but they don’t know what a resolution is when you resolve something to have a resolution is to resolve it when you’ve resolved this is how it’s gonna be that’s when you cut off any possibility except the thing you’ve committed to it’s like the old adage if you want to take the island and you burn the boats because when you burn those boats there’s no going back you’re gonna find a way to make things work and most people they’re stating what they hope will come together and if it doesn’t happen then they’re disappointed but they’re not too disappointed cuz they’re not too vested what does it take to successfully create a lasting change in your life to not only have a new year’s resolution you follow through on but really have a lasting change well the first step for lasting change is very much like making a new year’s resolution fundamentally it’s the same the first step is you got to have a vision a vision for what it is you really truly want not what you think you want or what you should have I mean what are most people’s new year’s resolutions I’m gonna stop eating sugar you know I’m gonna stop smoking I’m gonna lose 10 pounds problem with that is it’s not very inspiring for most people you know it’s not telling what you’re gonna get it’s only what you’re not gonna do and it’s kind of hard to have you move forward with that a vision is about what you’re here to create a vision that really works is one that excites you if you say well mine you know my resolution my goal my outcome for this month this week this year is to lose X number of pounds that’s okay but it’s not very compelling it has to be a compelling vision it’s gotta have something has the power to pull you not something you have to push yourself to do those are two different kinds of motivation push requires willpower and willpower never lasts what will last is pull having something so exciting so attractive so something you desire so much that you have a hard time going to sleep at night and get so up early in the morning to rock it and take it to the next level that’s what you’re looking at great and that wasn’t easy to get but one of the reasons we do seminars and events I’m saying you know why do that why isn’t why not just read a book or something is because when you get an environment where you were people that are being put in a peak state like when you’re going to a sporting event if you watch the sporting event at home it might have a certain level of excitement but when you’re in a stadium with 50,000 people suddenly it has a whole different level of intensity when we feel that and the bottom line of our follow-through comes down to our emotional intensity in a different state of mind you’re gonna come up with a much better and more exciting vision than if you’re sitting the couch going okay what am i new resolutions for this year and you’re doing it the morning after the new year started and you’re a little inebriated and the football games on in the background probably not gonna have the power of focus they’re probably not gonna have a power the energy to create something that’s gonna pull you for this year and you got to do that so it’s got to be a vision that’s compelling something that you know it’s gonna be a gift to make sure that happens and also along with that compelling vision you gotta have strong enough reasons that you’re gonna follow through and the going gets tough that’s one of the biggest things missing for most people they say this is what I want to do it’s not very exciting it’s not very compelling but most importantly they don’t have strong enough reasons to push themselves through what’s going to be necessary to get that dream to get that goal when the inevitable challenges come up when you’re starving hungry and you’re trying to go on a diet right when you got no time you’re stressed out you haven’t worked out still that’s what you’re supposed to do when the economy gets tight and what you thought you’re gonna do it doesn’t work and so you give up on the goal instead of finding another way to get there you don’t let the fear take you over if you’ve got strong enough reasons those reasons can be positive or those reasons can also be negative they can be if I don’t do this this it’s gonna cost me and if I do to this this is what I’m gonna gain in my life reasons come first answers come second if you’ve got a compelling vision and you got strong enough reasons that will push you through the tough times you’re gonna do things other people don’t do is that a collapsing even if you get off target you won’t go oh I blew it you’ll get right back on target make the change make things happen and I know you’ve done this in many areas your life just think about it again I’m not teaching you something really new here today I just want to remind you of what your soul knows you got a change you got to improve and you’ve got to go through a simple process fundamentally to make that progress first step vision that’s compelling second step make sure that they’re strong enough reason to follow through third step you got to review it and feel it every day I mean anything have you ever had this happen in your life has there been anything in your life badly you were so desirous of it you have such a hunger for it that you couldn’t stop thinking about it could been a career move could have been when you’re a kid a car it could have been a relationship it could have been anything but you were obsessed you wanted to make this happen you wanted to attract this to your life you wanna you just wanted something and you didn’t even know how to get it but it was so compelling to you kept thinking about it every day and visioning imagining it feeling it and then stuff happened and suddenly you started to attract people or situations to your life and it just came together like you didn’t even have a total plan it was just that it was so a part of your focus with so much intensity and emotion so often that it sensitized you to notice anything that could get you there there’s a part of your brain called the reticular activating system for short we call it the RAS that part of your brain determines what you notice in the world and it’s really important because when you set a goal when you get really clear on a vision they’re strong enough reasons and you review good enough it becomes a part of you that part of your brain says anything that relates to this I need to notice it’s like did you ever buy a certain kind of car or maybe a certain outfit and suddenly you see that car everywhere those outfits everywhere well you know the cars were always around but why do you see it now because your Ras knows this is important this is part of my world now similarly when you really get clear and it’s compelling and you’re reviewing it every day got strong reasons you’re viewing it every day and you’re feeling it the brain becomes incredibly acute at noticing anything to get you to move forward and so that’s the power of this so you know what do people do with New Year’s resolution they come up with something they kind of want it’s not a compelling vision they don’t really have strong enough reasons and they never review it again and told a notice that they broke what they said they really want to have make happen because they didn’t really resolve if you resolve you got the vision it’s compelling you review it daily and you feel it you envision it and you experience it simple as it sounds now ultimately what is this really about ultimately if you’re gonna have lasting change in anything you’re really talking about just raising your standards I mean I always tell people if you want to know how to change your life and give it to you in three words boring as it sounds raise your standards what does that mean corny as it sounds raise your standards I’ll thank you for the breakthrough thought Tony I’m glad I wasted my time watching this little email with you but think about lasting change is different than a goal you don’t always get your goals but you always get your standards maybe they’ll help you is to think about it this way I try to explain standards to people with a different set of words think of it as everybody in life gets there must they don’t get their right think about it you must be above a list of shits don’t they don’t you have a list of the shoulds things you should do you should follow through on I I should lose some weight I should work out more I should make more calls I should respond more rapidly to my email whatever you know I should get into the office earlier I should be you know more confident whatever your should list is people love to have their should list make me met but it’s kind of like New Year’s resolutions if it does it’s really exciting but if it doesn’t which is most the time it’s a little disappointing but you kind of know it’s not going to happen but when you decide something as a must for you and abs mas when you cut up any possible you say I’m gonna find the way I’m gonna make the way human beings when they resolve things and they have make a real resolution inside themselves which is they raise the standard they make it a must they find the way think about in your own life happens you had some area of your life where you raise your standard and your life has never been the same maybe at one time your life you use smoke cigarettes or you did something and you did it for years and you kept trying to change it trying to change it and kept telling yourself I should and then one day something happened something just clicked you over something took you over that kind of tipping point and inside yourself you said no more it was a very very different experience wasn’t it something inside has shifted and what was a should became a must and you’ve never gone back is there an area like that in your life you could think of again Jay ever smoked cigarettes did you ever eat a certain way drink a certain form of alcohol and then finally saying no more and you just don’t go back and notice this it doesn’t really take any willpower anymore because somewhere when we make this click we make something a must we attach ourselves to it it becomes part of our identity the one thing I’ve learned in the last gosh 33 years of working with people from now over 100 countries four million people is human beings absolutely follow through on who they believe they are and you said said to me well I’m really gonna work hard to stop smoking but you know I’ve been a smoker my whole life and I’m you know I am a smoker I know your days are numbered you’re gonna be back smoking cigarettes again because we all act consistent with who we believe we are I tell people the strongest force in the whole human personality is this need to stay consistent with how we define ourselves if you define yourself as somebody who is really conservative you’re not gonna be crazy and act nuts unless you’re really drunk or something and then you can say it’s the alcohol when it really does you finally getting permission to be yourself the alcohols your excuse if you’re a really crazy person you act crazy outrageous playful you don’t act conservative because that’s not who you are very often people say well I can’t do that I’m not that kind of person and I always say to people really did you define yourself I mean really how many years ago did you come up with what you could and couldn’t do in your life how many years ago most people if they really look at how they’re living their life today it’s based on a set of standards a set of beliefs that they made choices about 10 20 30 or more years ago I mean very often we made decisions in our youth or very young about what to believe about what we were capable of about who we are as a person and that becomes the glass ceiling if you will that controls us there’s a corny metaphor but it’s true I remember one time I was with my family at the circus and there’s a person there and they had this big giant elephant and you look at this elephant and they take this little rope put it around the health and snack and they drive the stake into the ground and I mean you look at this you know that elephant could rip down the entire tent with almost no effort and yet the elephant doesn’t struggle doesn’t try why cuz the elephant’s conditioned and they take that elephant conditioned the elephant when it’s a baby elephant that’s how they train them when it’s a little baby elephant and it doesn’t have the power yet they put a big rope around it and they drive this huge stake in the ground and your elephant fights and fights and fights and one day finally that often decides I’m not capable pulling this out and once that becomes the definition of an identity of anyone an elephant in this case they don’t even try anymore it’s just who I am that’s how it is that’s just the way it is in my life I’d like to ask you to take a look at any place you’ve got a limitation ask yourself when did I decide to accept that limitation and you may not even see it as a limitation you might see there just that’s who I am but so often our lives we’ve adapted to be a certain way so that we don’t fail or so that people will like us or respect us but it’s not necessarily who we are joy comes when you’re spontaneous it’s really hard to be truly happy when you’re not being yourself and most of us have no clue who we are and so a big part of my work if you’ve ever been to an event you know is to get people and do things spontaneously without thinking because that’s when the real you shows up that’s when the energy comes alive and when you do that when you start to connect your true nature suddenly there’s energy available for you to set a higher standard for what you want in your life that’s what this is really all about and when I talk about standards when I talk about you know versus muss think about your own life I know there have been areas in your life where some point in time you just shift it and you raise the standard in your life change because whatever people have their identity attached to they live we live who we believe we are that’s just how it works it’s just kind of like I give an example look at your physical body your physical body today is an absolute reflection of only one thing not your goals not your desires but your standards the identity you have for yourself if your standard is you’re an athlete then there’s a certain amount of strength a muscle tone and energy that’s available in your body on a regular basis because that’s who you are and so you do whatever’s necessary to maintain that identity again the strongest force and the human personalities this need to stay consistent with how we define ourselves because if you don’t know who you are you would not act once you lock in on that identity your brain finds a way to keep you there if you say you know man I’m overweight I’ve always been overweight I’m big-boned and that’s the story you got then you’re gonna always find a way to get back there that’s you’re settling point that’s your identity that’s where things lock in if you see somebody who’s in a really great shape you ask him do you work out you know the answer yes how often and they’ll tell you three times four times five times a week whatever in a seven hour last people who here works out at least five days a week and I’m stand-up and you look around that room and you know that they work out five times a week as you can see their body you don’t just get a result without some kind of action without some form of ritual ritual meaning actions you do consistently now do you think you know those people that are out there working out five days a week do they have more time than you do or I have for anybody else of course not is that a wife less busy of course not it’s just a must for them they must work out that way and they’ve made that turn their life changed so I’m not saying you have to work out five days a week I’m just saying whatever you really want once don’t get met consistently standards do whatever you identify this is Who I am and so it’s not so much about changing your identity as theirs standing it you know deciding that you know instead of your goals to lose ten pounds which is not compelling what if your vision was to get back to my fighting weight you know just this year this month this next 90 days I’m gonna transform my body I’m gonna take on a new challenge I’m gonna find some technique or strategy there’s a million of them that can reframe myself where I want to feel younger stronger more vibrant than ever before here’s my reasons because I want the energy to really make my life work because it’s tough out there and I want to be stronger than I’ve ever been before I’m going for the mirror and if I’m naked not you know when I laugh I will look there and take a good look and go yeah whatever it takes something’s gonna make you laugh smile something that’s gonna tease yourself but someone’s gonna move you to another level if you identify yourself in a new way and you own that every day and that becomes the staredown you live you’ll find the way to make that standard real money’s the same way I think about it doesn’t matter what’s happening quote-unquote in the marketplace people that make money find a way to make money no matter what don’t they I mean most people’s standard is to pay their bills so that’s what most people find a way to do even when economic times get tough most people if that’s their absolute standard they find a way some people’s standard is pay their bills and most of the time and so most of the time they do some people standard is not just to pay their bills but to take care of their family and maybe even some of their friends and they find a way in fact human if some people may be in a family where they don’t have enough money to barely have money to pay their bills they work through guts out and then somebody their mother their father or somebody else their sister gets ill and there’s not enough money to take care of it nobody else has money in the family they don’t either but if they find a way to get that money to take care of their mother or father don’t pay and pay their bills they never could do it before why the situation made them raise their own standard and not everybody does that somebody else in the family might have money and still don’t take care of their mother it all comes down to the inner game my friends changing your life is a change in the inner game the outside world you can’t control but you have absolute control over this one if you learn that dynamics of what shapes you and identity is one of those simple clear fundamental basics that if you start to share that everything else will shift in your life as well some people by the way have to have more than enough money to do what they want when they want where they want with whomever they want contribute the way they want if that’s there must they find a way I know that sounds overly simplistic but it’s true now somebody once said you can take all the money in the world out of the hands of everybody out of all the wealthy people in the world who are really successful given to other people it wouldn’t take too long those people would have it back in their hands it’s not because they’re manipulate it’s cuz they have a standard some are manipulate don’t get me wrong but they’ve got a standard of what they’re gonna find a way to make happen I’m just simply saying to you take those three magic words and live them raise your standard if you really want to do it then I’ll tell you the most important secret have you ever done this have you ever told yourself you’re raised you’re saying okay I’m gonna go make this happen I’m gonna go make this much money I’m gonna transform my kids I’m gonna create the ultimate relationship of my life I’m gonna transform my body whatever it is and then you don’t have strong enough reasons and you don’t lose use it you don’t follow through it’s because you didn’t back up your standards with what makes those standards real and that’s rituals rituals all of the power is whenever we do our Robbins results coaching and we did Robbins equals results late we get results with people it’s the same way if you listen to my ultimate edge program are back in the old days personal power or if you went to one of my seminars you know what I do is I take these huge challenges you got and we break them down into little bite-sized steps little things you do each day that after you do them you get so much momentum that it’s easy to succeed you’re not overwhelmed you have these victory day after day after day on little things if you’d want to ultimate edge I’m sure you learned about the hour of power or the 15 minutes to be able to be fulfilled or 30 minutes to thrive where you literally just conditioned your body and emotion with a couple little rituals so it doesn’t matter what’s going on in your world you feel that strength and it’s not fake it’s not some pump up it’s coming from inside you and it works rituals define us see all the results in your life are coming from your rituals they start with a standard and then have rituals that follow it up like for example if you are where you want to be physically you have very different rituals than if you’re not where you want to be physically if you’re overweight you I both know you got a different ritual than if you’re physically fit completely different you get up in the morning what’s the first thing you do if you’re fit your shoes are there you roll over the minute how you feel you put on your shoes you lacing you start walking or whatever that ritual is if you’re overweight you roll over and you have a very different ritual you might roll over several times to turn the alarm clock off you go in and get your mocha mocha whatever you know special coffee you stop by at Starbucks or over the case maybe you have your nice sugar muffin you know it’s supposed to be really nice for you whatever you do it’s a different ritual if you have a great passionate relationship you have very different rituals and how you come home than if you have a lousy relationship you come home and the first thing you do is you’re tweeting somebody or you’re emailing or flipping on the news or you don’t even come home yeah what are the rituals whenever I study people that are successful well I look for is what’s the standard they hold himself to and then what are all the little rituals that up because think about it success and failure are not giant events they don’t just show up you’ll just suddenly become successful or suddenly have this cataclysmic event that makes you fail it may look that way but failure comes from all the little things its failure to make the call its failure to check the books its failure to say I’m sorry its failure to push yourself to do things physically that you don’t want to do and all those little failures day after day come together until one day some Cataclysm event happens you blame that that event happened because you missed all the little stuff do you agree with me and success by the way is not some overnight event it’s all these little things success is having a vision success is making it compelling success is really seeing it feeling it every day it was strong enough for reasons success he is feeling the sense that I’m here to grow and I’m here to give something to the world more than just myself success is caring about other people success is calling and saying I love you in the middle of the day for no damn reason or sending a note that will change your relationship how the ritual of something funny playful or a surprise you do how many relationships are dead today because they have no surprise rituals anymore you need to have some rituals and cool you do that nobody else does that gives you a better life than anybody else has all the little stuff that’s where success comes from in business it comes from delivering more than anybody could imagine all those little things add up people go wow that’s who I want to do business with it’s true in any area of your life so if you look at somebody’s really successful you think wow I mean they’re so amazing there’s such a genius you kind of dig underneath you got to remember something people are rewarded in public from what they’ve practiced for years in private myself and my business people say how you get up and speaking you have no notion you go for three days and nights and the room is like it’s wired it’s incredible it’s like a rock concert how do you do that how do you get that confidence of home and you know it’s not confidence it’s experience now but I did so much behind the scenes that I still do to make things right I mean how many people would know that since the time I was 17 years old before I walk on his age still do to this day wouldn’t need to do it but I still do it I never walk out there without being in an absolute peak state of mind you know there are days my back is hurting my throat was hurting or I may have a challenger my father passed away and I’ve still got to deliver for these people because my standard is give my all every time everything has to be better talked anybody has been to our events for 5-10 years some of our trainers I don’t know he does it he’s always finds a way to make it better that’s not an ego thing that’s a standard in me I have to find the way and my ritual though is I prepare I think I gather new information I figure out how to put something across better what do people need I spend time with our customers I see what’s going on and before I get on stage each time has a sort of ritual to put myself in a state of mine and I did it starting to fight 17 years old I started doing it say I now command my subconscious mind and I say this out loud several times this little phrase set of phrases as an incantation to kind of condition my mind and body and that’s an now command my subconscious mind to direct me and helping as many people as possible today by giving me the strength and the emotion and the humor and the brevity whatever it takes to show this person and help this person change their life now and I started out with a person when I work with people one-on-one I would do that for 45 minutes driving in my Volkswagen to go serve and coach somebody for the first time now I don’t say that these 10,000 people and deliver for 50 hours and I do it every time I come back on stage it’s a ritual a ritual to go in a peak stay Peaks they don’t just show up they don’t interrupt you great ideas don’t laughter you got to pursue them I talked to Michael Jordan I’ll never forget Dad the peak of his career and got to watch his final game saw him backstage and spent some time with them and there’s pretty exciting time this case basketball player and I think that ever lived in Hazzard relived and I asked him I said you know what sets you apart Michael you know what is it and is it god-given talent ability skill what does it needs to tell me you know he said I can shoot you straight you know it’s not you know you try to act humble he goes I have a lot of town a lot of god-given talent lot of skill I’ve worked really hard but he said really it’s my standards he said every day I demand more for myself than anybody else could humanly expect I’m not competing with somebody else I’m competing with while I’m capable of hmm magic formula because most of us lower our standards why because who you spend time with my friends is who you become one of the biggest reasons I started going to seminars when I was like 17 is I had nobody around me as a great role model I could read about somebody but being around people being in that environment was very different finding way to go to work with someone who lived that standard of life was very different you get around people at low standards and you compete with it you don’t need to compete with it it’s like okay I mean remember Jerry Springer I know if he’s still in the air but you know I remember used to get people on the show my thought where would he find these people watch these people go my life so pretty darn good come here that person look at them you don’t have to change your life all you have to do is find somebody with a lower standard you’ll feel good about yourself but if you feel that good feeling it’s an illusion the only thing that’s gonna make you happy my friend and this year or any other is to step up it’s to raise the standard it’s to discover what you’re capable of and feel that incredible power of pushing through whatever is holding you back and get to the other side of more of your true self that’s what this game is all about and look at the best of the world than anything Tiger Woods what’s what’s his vision to win golf tournaments no to be the best that ever lived that’s his goal that’s his vision but here’s what’s interesting he backs it up with rituals if you just have a vision and you don’t have the rituals stop lying to yourself his rituals are he started doing things nobody did before he went started lifting weights golfers lifting weights no way he went out and he changed his swing when he was the best in the world because he realized already be the best that ever lived he’s gonna have to change his swing if you don’t thing about golf you don’t change your swing when you’re the best and he went and retrained himself because he has different rituals than other golfers now many people are modeling as rituals to get better it’s amazing you know you look at somebody like Michael Phelps the 2008 swimmer 1 7 you know only two people I think in history if I remember correctly that have gotten seven gold medals in one session and here’s a guy he’s got number six centers belt he’s exhausted and he’s going in for that final swim I’m sure you remember and how does the guy win by one hundredths of a second do you think that was some massive skill that got him over the top or was it a standard that says this is Who I am I am the champion and no one is taking this from me and somehow in those finals milliseconds hundredths of a second he pushed himself just beyond his competitor but you know how about Michael Phelps what allowed him to be able to push beyond that moment is this rituals go steady the guy most people who swim have these unbelievable workouts he does two and three of the workout sessions a day all the other swimmers in the beginning thought he was insane you can over train you can’t do that it’s not physically possible but he had a standard and the rituals to back it up so here’s my final message to you because I’ve gotten carried away I was gonna send you like a five-minute message but you can see there’s no script here it’s just me going a little crazy with you but I want to really see you get what you want this year don’t let this year be like last and if last year was great still let it be that way raise the standard your life is perfect and extraordinary you darn well know you’re not gonna be happy unless you keep making it better that’s what makes us feel alive it’s not what we got to make us happy it’s who we become and what we’re able to give because we’ve become more that sense of contribution is what creates the deepest meaning so here’s my assignment for if you want one if you want to go from conversation to some action here’s a simple thing to do what’s an area life right now that you really want improve what’s an area that’s important to improve it’s your body’s great how about your career careers great how about your relationship intimate one especially or your kids or your relationship with your Creator your spiritual side of your life or is it your finances figure an area that really matters decide on that area number one write down what your life is like in that area right now specifically as possible so you might say well I’m 13.

5 pounds overweight you know whatever the weight is whatever the situation is or my body fat like this or I’m wake up exhausted in the morning and you write the truth of where you are right now so you’re real clear or I’m not in a relationship I say I want a relationship but I I’m not in one I don’t seem to find them all the good ones seem to be gone is my belief you know and I really do want one but I don’t have it whatever your definition well I’m in a relationship and god I wish I wasn’t in a relationship I’m planning my escape wherever you are or I have a wonderful relationship we love each other but there just isn’t enough passion just right the truth of where you are the area you want to change what right how it is and then the second step is that’s where you got to be really honest with yourself what are the rituals that have put me there because whatever results you’re getting even if you don’t like the results there’s some rituals that are keeping you in that place there’s some rituals of what you eat or don’t eat how you move or don’t move how you sleep or don’t sleep there’s some rituals and the lack of variety or spice or energy or focus in an area there’s something you’re doing and it’s usually not one thing it’s a bunch of little things they kind of do consistently whenever you think about getting in a relationship whenever you think about working out whenever you think about money you get yourself in a state of overwhelm you start thinking about all the things you can’t control just write down all the rituals you have and then here’s the third step what do you want what’s your vision and be really specific I want to be even my fighting way I want to be the strongest I’ve ever felt I want to be I’m gonna turn my whatever it is be specific and then last step number four what are the rituals that’ll get you there what would you need to differently each morning if you’re going to be that kind of energy that kind of strength how would you have to often would you work out what days would you work out what time a ritual something you do consistently in a specific time so becomes automatic let me tell you something willpower doesn’t last but rituals can last a lifetime I bet you have some rituals in your life right now you’ve been doing for years even though some of them don’t serve you I’m just saying wake yourself up make if you want a new year and a new life you don’t need to start in January first start today start with this little video and just begin to see what happens and see how easy it is to just do a few little rituals don’t do them all just do two or three new things and you know what happens you’ll get momentum because once you discipline yourself in one area life you feel yourself doing in other areas as well I always say something that my original teacher taught me I always remind people there’s always two pains in life there’s at the pain of discipline or is the pain of regret and discipline weighs ounces is my friend Jim Rohn taught me regret weighs tons you don’t have regret so right now what do you want to change what’s it really like one of the rituals that got you there that will take a little homework if you’re not sure ask the people around you they’ll tell you what your rituals are what do I really want in depth where the rituals will get me there and then get yourself to start a few of those actions and lock them in place so I can help you in any way we’re here as a company to support you come to have an event with us come to unleash the power within or master university or get a coach you can get a free coaching session if you call our company and click on something on this we’ll probably have something on it or get a product or don’t do anything with us but do something with somebody starting with you if you make the change in yourself you’re gonna be proud this year and no amount of money or accolades other people can mirror the feeling of being proud of knowing you’ve taken back control of your life or you’ve taken a great life to another level because once you do that you have something you can give other people whether it be your kids or your friends or your family and ultimately that’s why it’s about some thanks for listening I know how long I went to here but I hope this has been helpful for you I just thought it’s a new year and I want people to be able to truly create a new life and till I see again hopefully something soon or gets a chance to meet you live strong and then live with passion and of course god bless to you happy new year you welcome back to your breakthrough we’re gonna talk in the session about the exact formula for what creates long term happiness what creates unhappiness what creates suffering and what the antidotes are which there’s only three how do I know this I’ve had the privilege of being with four million people now from a hundred countries around the world live seminars and I’ve seen everything you can imagine I mean from the most successful people in the world to these singularly most challenged people you could possibly imagine I’ve dealt with people with multiple personality disorders fifty-two different personalities and how to put them back together and I dealt with people with no personality of a much bigger problem no matter what the diversity of people I dealt with and the diversity you’ve seen in this show the ultimate question I’m always asking is how do I help people to break through the question is what are you breaking through to in essence all of us at some level to feel alive have to always feel like we’re growing when people ask me what does it take to be happy I always tell them one word progress progress equals happiness even if you’re not where you want to be yet if you’re on the road if you’re improving if you’re making progress you’re gonna love it you’re gonna feel alive on the other hand it doesn’t matter how successful you are if you stop growing you start dying inside now how does this relate to this session I’ll break through all I’ll say it’s really simple if you and I want to know what it takes to be happy we have to understand what is our current blueprint of how our life’s supposed to be then what do I mean by blueprint well we have a story in our head of how life’s supposed to be some people’s story is you work hard in school you become really great you’re a nice person you’re a good person and then you grow up and you take care of yourself and you find the ideal man and you fall in love you have a white picket fence and you have three perfect children and you live happily ever after somebody else’s story the old story was you work really hard in school you excel in college you’re going to work for a big corporation and you move up through the ranks until you’re the President or chairman of the company and you become successful respected throughout life these are some old stories obviously the stories that we hear today and what people’s lives are supposed to be like are completely diverse we no longer have these little archetypes but when our types still see to remain and that archetype is in order for you to really feel like you’re enough many people believe they have to achieve an enormous amount they may may do it in different ways they may do it by building a company and taking a public when they’re 27 or 25 years old or you know they find and create a new technology or they become a very special doctor but we live in a culture in the West that teaches people that you’re not enough unless you do something really special and unique and we define special and unique and interesting ways a schoolteacher is not special and unique a mother who stays home with her children day and night sculpting their minds their bodies their souls and their future is not special we live in a world today where we treat teachers like they’re nobody and pay them accordingly and we wonder why our children seem to have challenges of learning and growing or being engaged in school we spend thousands of dollars on some item like a computer but what we look at overall we invest in for the teacher and for that person who’s the personal connection with them is so small we live in a society where many women look down and say well you’re just a housewife you’re just a mother see some of the pain we have in our society is not because there’s one right or one wrong approach but because we try to make everybody fit into some particular approach to life here’s what’s gonna make you happy or make you unhappy in life it’s real simple let’s do a quick test if you’re in a situation right now where you look at your life I know there’s an area of your life that you’d probably feel pretty darn good about even if you’re not happy with your finances I bet you feel damn good close to your kids or if you’re not close to your kids maybe you don’t have any kids maybe you feel really good about your career if you’re doing not so good in your career maybe you got a really great body that you’ve trimmed down or strengthened up or you know you really shaped yourself the way you want muscularly or and the way you look or if that’s not happening maybe you feel a really special connection with God or really close to your mother or father your family whatever almost everybody has an area of their life they feel really good about if they’re honest if they’re fair to themselves what’s any of your life you really feel happy about I want you think about it for a moment truthfully what’s an area in your life today that if you wanted to be happy about it you really could feel proud about it you could feel like are you doing darn well in and if you’re really hard on yourself there’s still an area what’s an area I want you to think of it right now and once you think of that area whether it’s your body or your finances or your career or your intimate relationship or your relationship with your kids your relationship with your Creator whatever it is I want you to think about why are you happy with that air of your life right now today why are you happy with that area of your life right now today I really think about it if you’re in a seminar with me I’d have you write this down if you can you can put me on hold here for a second because I’d like to reveal to you what the formula is for happiness and if I say there’s a formula for happiness and here’s what it is you’re gonna go yeah yeah sure that’s what he says but if you put down the answer and we can see the formulas real without me telling you what it is you get to look at your own life and say it matches you’re gonna know this is right so you could stop this right now if you want put me on hold and just write down what’s an area of your life you’re really really happy about you’re really pleased with or you could be if you wanted to focus on it and why are you happy with that part of your life right now even with everything what’s the you’re happy with and why put me on hold right now or you’re not gonna do that just think for a moment why specifically be real why now when I asked this if you turn me back on now if I ask this of an audience I’ll have people write this down for a few minutes and I’ll call on people I’ll say share with the person next to you first what are you happy about why are you happy in that area and be specific and after they share I’ll have people stand up I’ll call in a variety people and I say yeah I’m telling me what are you happy about she’ll say well honestly I’m really happy with my body she does I never thought I’d say that but I used to be so unhappy with it and you know I finally I did some things I push myself through and now I exercise regularly and ain’t no I’m not perfect but I feel fit I feel strong until energetic and that’s really I don’t know it just feels good to me now I say to everybody I’m now gonna show you what the formula for happiness is and it’s real simple I want to reveal it to you so you don’t ever forget it whenever you’re happy with the air of your life it’s because right now your current life experience I call it your LC your life conditions the conditions of your life your life conditions in that area match or equal to your blueprint your story your belief about how life should be in that area so this woman says to me I’m really happy to my body because it’s not perfect her blueprint is I don’t need to be perfect but it’s so much better than it was I’m fit and I’m strong and I have this energy her mental blueprint says I should be fit strong and have energy I don’t need to be perfect but I should be that way well in my life my body matches how I think it should be I feel good about my life about somebody else I’ll say you know tell me there you’re happy with someone else to say well I’m really happy with my career and why I’m doing better than I even thought I would be I mean I’m ahead of the schedule of where I hoped I’d be at this stage I’m working at this level in this company and I have these skills and this ability and it’s even better than I thought well once again listen this person is happy with this area their life because their current life conditions in the area called their career are even better than they expected they would be better than their blueprint better than their belief about how it should be it was really better you tend to be over the moon but one woman would say you know I kind of tell you I said I’m happy he’s never been in my whole life how come she goes because I have this man in my life and I’m in love with him and he loves me and I can be myself with him and he we have this incredible intimacy and this passion and we want to be with each other all the time and I never get bored with him well what’s her blueprint you want to be with somebody that you can have total intimacy with somebody who you love and loves you those are part of her rules her beliefs of how it should be she said it you know it’s needs to be I never want to be with anybody else I want to be with him every moment her blueprint about how life should be and the way she lives her relationships even better than she hoped when it’s better than you hope you’re gonna be totally excited so think about this then what’s an area you’re not happy with let’s see we can find the formula for unhappiness if the formula for happiness is to be able to meet your expectations or exceed them that really makes you excited but to be happy at least Mita doesn’t have to be perfect but if you generally are meaning what you expect you want from your life in that area feel good right conditions match blueprint feel good so what makes you feel bad or creates pain stress frustration real easy way to figure it out answer this question what’s an area life you’re not happy with let me be honest with yourself and even if your life is great all kinds of ways I’m sure there’s an area you’d like to improve anybody is honest if they’re doing great in their career very often they don’t take care of their body so much if they’re really focused on their body you know very often they find themselves in a position where they’re not spending enough time with their kids or if they’re spending time with their kids their intimate relationships not doing so well because it’s the nature of human beings to focus on areas they feel comfortable with and strong in and give those time and the areas they don’t feel so strong and they go I don’t have time for it what you’re really saying is I don’t feel very competent that area so what’s an area of your life that you are not as happy with I mean it’s healthy honestly to look at areas and say I don’t like it I want more this whole concept of a breakthrough is about how do I close the gap between where I am right now and what I want to be that’s what we’re here to do is like here’s what I want to be here’s where I am it’s healthy to see there’s a gap that makes me have this hunger this drive to grow to feel alive to expand as a human being so what’s an area you’re not pleased with is it your body is it your finances is it your career is it your spiritual life or lack thereof in terms of feeling connected in that area is it your kids like what’s the area what’s the area that’s not where you want it to be and then answer for a moment why aren’t you happy with that area of your life right now why specifically today are you not happy with that area of your life at this stage of your time of your life again you can stop this and write it down might be useful for you or they’re gonna keep it running stop it and you’ll turn it right back on I’ll kick into it do that now or if you kept it running then just I’ll give you what happens I have people write this down and they don’t like this exercise so much oh I don’t like my body or I don’t like my finances I don’t like my career I don’t like the person I’m in a relationship with I don’t like myself the way I’m in relationships why they write it all down how people share back and forth I call on people and the lessons pretty clear I tell people advance here’s the form unhappiness I’ll show you before you do anything else when your life conditions when your life conditions the way you’re living your life today does not match it doesn’t equal your blueprint your story of how it’s supposed to be then you’re gonna have disappointment frustration or pain if your life is way different than the way you think it’s supposed to be you can have enormous pain if it’s a little different you might feel stressed make sense so people stand up and I said tell me you know what’s here you’re not happy with the person says well you know I’m really not happy with my finances and I go why and they say because I’m doing worse now than I was five years ago I made mistakes in the market and at this stage of my life I should have this much money and I don’t have it and I don’t know how to change it and it’s making me crazy and why are they crazy you say well because they don’t have their economic your economic needs met and you could still be okay but when you have an idea this is what my need is and I did the wrong thing my life doesn’t match how I’m supposed to be that’s when people get a little crazy so you think about it if you grew up taking care of folding your own clothes making your own meals going to the store doing the grocery shopping cleaning the bedroom cleaning the house vacuuming taking out the trash and you did that your whole life then if you have to do that later on you don’t feel like you have economic pain because you don’t have a maid but if you grew up an environment where everything was done for you you never have to work and now suddenly you have to work incredibly hard to just pay enough money to pay your bills and all of a sudden food is building up and the house is dirty and your clothes aren’t folded and nothing matches you might find yourself really angry and frustrated because you have a different story about how life’s supposed to be than how it is someone else will say well I’ll tell you why because I’m in a situation now where you know I’m 30 pounds everything I should be should be the key word there are people there are people in all cultures who love being big there are people that’ll walk around and someone else might think they’re massively overweight but they’re gone I own this honey and they really truly they match their blueprint big is beautiful because their ideas big is oh I’m big that’s beautiful matches my blueprint rock and roll I’m happy as can be somebody else can look like a twig and be stressed out saying I hate my body because their blueprint says I should be the skinniest thing on earth and I’m not skinny enough am I making sense when your life conditions don’t match your blueprint you’re gonna have pain but here’s when you suffer don’t ask people who here has been through the dark night of the soul who’s been here in a situation where you feel like like like life life isn’t worth living or we feel like a pain that just will never go away and I’ll people write down those experiences like Joaquin so you’ll begin to understand what the issue is I’m talking about here while Keane if you recall was in a situation where this man felt like there was no reason to live he couldn’t work he couldn’t do anything his life was worthless why did he think that because he had a blueprint and his blueprint said I need be an NBA basketball player at least a professional basketball player I need to be able to make money and have this great lifestyle because that’s what makes me worthwhile as a human being that’s what makes my family respect me my mother and my uncle’s my aunts I am the successful one in the family and I make the money I support everybody he’s a good man he didn’t come just to be successful he took care of his mother his families he tried to be an inspiration for people walking Hawkins as a man it was always going out on his free time and training kids and showing them the pathway to freedom how they could play basketball and get free like he did and get out of the inner city so this man is not a selfish man but he knew this is the way to be worthwhile this is the way to be able to give to people this is the way to take care of your family and all of a sudden one night what happened that way was taken from him he has a stroke and another night his life conditions make it impossible to be who he has to be or he feels like he’s worthless to get it we have an identity we have a story of how we’re supposed to be and if life somehow gets in the way of that story we feel pain but if we feel we have no control oh that’s when we go into suffering see it’s one thing to say my life doesn’t match my blueprint I gotta lose weight that might stress you out or my life doesn’t match my blueprint I’m not in a relationship I gotta get in one that might motivate you even you might not like it but you’re gonna find a way to get away or my career doesn’t matter I should be you could change it but when you start believing that your life doesn’t match your blueprint and you have no control to change it you’re helpless that’s when people suffer and so this week for your breakthrough it’s a chance for you to start to take a look at your blueprint anywhere you’re really having pain Hey look if you’re doing great in some area of your life celebrate of course and I’m sure there are many areas you are but life is really a serious approach spurts I mean two things in life make you feel alive growing and giving and what’s really wonderful about this man Joaquin is he was constantly growing trying to get better trying to be a better team made a better basketball player think about it when he didn’t make the teams and didn’t make the NBA he didn’t give up he worked even harder the guy was always striving striving to become something and he became it and he achieved it and then life took it from him isn’t that the common denominator with so many of the people and the stories of this six-part series that you saw these six specials I mean Frank and Kristen had a blueprint of what life was supposed to be about we’re supposed to get married to have children and we’re gonna have our own business and all of a sudden life doesn’t match the blueprint and suddenly there’s depression because in their case they said there’s nothing we could do but they were wrong they were wrong because they discovered that Frank discovered I can make a difference my wife the chair even though I didn’t create this and then asked for this chair does not define me I can become more than I was before I can have the impact of my wife I can have children we had to change his blueprint because we couldn’t change all the conditions of his life does that make sense I couldn’t get him to physically walk again maybe someday he will but we can’t count on that well we gotta count on is that he can be fulfilled by seeing he isn’t helpless that I did that to a series of experiences violated what he thought he couldn’t do the same thing was true with almost every one of the people we worked with at some level and in Joaquin’s example it was also true our Keane said well I I can’t ever have this quality of life again because I’m not a professional basketball player and he was locked into that mindset and all of us get locked at times but to his credit to a system of steps we were able to break him out of that we would get him to see that he isn’t helpless because here’s your choice watch this now if you’re suffering if you’re in pain your life doesn’t match how you think it should be and you think you’re helpless to change it now you have only three choices choice one blame something and that’s what what Keane did if you recall he blamed his coach he blamed what happened to him and of course these things were outside his control but he blamed his coach and a big part of the healing if you watched this session was bringing his coach in and getting him to see hey you know what all that anger all that resentment inside of you Akeem a it’s not based on the truth and be like Nelson Mandela said you know having resentment in your soul is like drinking poison and hoping that your enemy will die it doesn’t work that way and when Joaquin was able to break out his breakthrough was a change in perception to realize this coach wasn’t stopping me I just felt like I lost everything and so I don’t know how to change it so I’m looking for something to be mad about someone to blame so so I don’t have to blame myself or I don’t have to feel so helpless because when you’re angry you don’t feel so helpless you feel strong for the moment even though it’s a fake strength when he was able to make that breakthrough he could stop blaming because these are three choices when life doesn’t match how you think it should be blame something an event someone else or yourself as we talked about earlier in the series blame games just destroy you there’s no progress when you play for the moment you feel okay but nothing changes what are your real choices you only have two choices in life if life doesn’t match your blueprint you either have to change your life that is you kind of say you know what my body is out there I’m gonna go work out my relationship is in there I’m gonna change it you know I’m not making what I gotta make I’m gonna retool I’m gonna get a new skill I’m gonna go to school I’m gonna start a business I’m gonna do something you have to do something to change your life or in order for you to be happy if you can’t change your life you’re gonna have to change your blueprint usually in life it requires a little bit of each does that make sense and if you’ve changed your take change your life and change your blueprint you can have an extraordinary life and what you witness this man do was once he let go of his anger and his denial once he started to look at things he began to find by spending time with his family that he was worthwhile being loved while he played basketball or not of course he’d love to play basketball but professional basketball is no longer a part of it and we had to get Joaquin to shift that and Joaquin is a metaphor for all of us because all of us are gonna have times in our life when what we want or think life should be like isn’t gonna match how life really is those moments if we blame our life goes into pain if we change we can change our life and match our blueprint but we have to also know when it’s not within our control and that’s how we’re able to make a shift and change what our story is for our life what our expectations are not by lowering them but by changing what that model really is helping this make sense to you I’ll give you a great example years ago I do a lot of work with business people celebrities people of all kinds and walks of life and I was dealing with a group of people and they knew a very very powerful celebrity and without to give that person privacy I won’t tell you too many details we can’t figure out exactly who it is but it would be a person who was very successful as a woman who was extremely attractive by cultural standards a woman who’s had a lot of dear friends a lot of deep respect so great skill great ability extremely talented quite attractive quite wealthy in financial terms and lots of great friends this would be for most people’s idea the ultimate blueprint if your life matches that description you must have an incredible life but ironically this particular individuals famous as they were was depressed all the time they had seemingly everything and yet the person was depressed how do you get depressed when you’re smart and you’re and you’re beautiful and you got great friends and you’re rich and you’re famous well it’s real simple people sent it I don’t know what it is everyone’s tried to help her she’s been on the through counseling she’s got all these different drugs nothing’s working she’s taking antidepressants and she’s still depressed which is not uncommon by the way because if you change the way you feel physically but you still see your life doesn’t match how you think it should be at some level can you feel like you’re helpless to change it you’re gonna be depressed so I said bring her to me I said I can help her I know that sounds like hyperbole but I absolutely can help her well how do you know that Tony because I already know what the problem is I know if someone’s depressed it’s because they feel helpless because their life doesn’t match how they think it should be I just didn’t know what her blueprint is but we’ll find out what it is and we’ll either help her change your life or help or change your blueprint or both long story short intelligent which came to me and she spent maybe the first half an hour telling me apologizing saying I know I should be happier I know it’s silly for me to be depressed I don’t know why I’m so depressed I I know I should be grateful for what I have and I am grateful and it was all these reasons why she knows she should feel good but still didn’t I try to finally explain to her listen I don’t care about that I care about you the fact that you’re not happy has nothing to do with what you have or don’t have the fact that you’re not happy is that your life doesn’t match the way you think it should be and you have some idea of how you think it should be and worse if you’re this depressed after all this time you feel like you can’t do anything you have no power to change it you feel helpless and she looked at me in a certain way and I said so what is that what did you want your life to be like she goes well it sounds stupid sound stupid to me I don’t know I just always since I was a little girl dreamed that I would be married and I’ll have three basically perfect children and they would love me totally and my above my husband he loved me and I said okay so how’s that working for you so far and she said well I think you know cuz pretty famous person she said I’m divorced twice I have no children and I’m now ex age and to give you a clue that age would be an we’re having a child your own natural child at least barring a medical miracle is not going to happen so I said to her well why don’t you just adopt she was no no no no no that’s not it and so what I had to dig under is remember we talked at one of the earlier sessions about there’s the surface problem and then there’s the deeper desire or need so I said to her I said well what if you couldn’t have the husband but you get out of the kids and she smiled she said I’d take that I said well why not adopt your kid she goes now it has to be my own blood children so I kept digging to find out what was behind her blueprint because your blueprint is just a projection of what you think you need to be happy but as human beings were notoriously ineffective at knowing that’s gonna make us happy so much what we think we’re gonna make us happy we get there when we go is this all there is so many things that we think are gonna make us miserable and we can never deal with we go through it we can handle it we’re not good at projecting these things all kinds of studies will show this so I said to her well what what do you helping me get from these three children why do they have to be your blood children and she finally said well if they’re my blood children I know they’ll always love me they’ll never leave me what was she looking for unconditional love she had this big blueprint that said white house picket fence three children perfect husband you know all these different things but what was behind that was a need and need to feel like she could have love that would be certain and wouldn’t go away so I can help her meet that need so I said to her I said well maybe one reason you don’t have a husband is because every time you look at one you’re trying to figure out if he’s gonna get you those three kids in time and how that’s gonna happen and maybe he feels a little stressed when he’s low you’re looking at in this way because he can feel what’s going on behind your bed even if he doesn’t know what the words are and she started to laugh because I guess I’ve probably been that way a good portion of my life and she goes people wonder you know why I’m so uptight I say you’re uptight because you were felt like you’re running out of time trying to meet some picture but I said all you really want is love I said don’t have a lotta love in your life tell me about your friends and gradually I got her to start seeing this love that she was trying to get was already here it didn’t match the picture maybe maybe we could paint new picture of what life could really be like and make sure that picture met her deepest needs that’s basically we did Joaquin Joaquin wanted to be a professional basketball player because he loved basketball yes but also because he wanted to be that man who was a leader he wanted to be a man who was the good man he want to be the one who brought energy to people he want to be the man people would look up to he want to be the man who could take care of his family in style all of his family not just his daughters and his wife but other people as well underneath it all he wanted to know that he mattered and through the process that you saw on the show he began to find out that he didn’t need to be angry at the world that yes his blueprint was taken from him but his soul and his ability to be a special human being and it could touch other people was not taken from him that may be his real gift was his ability to inspire young kids his ability to get himself to do whatever it took how do you become a professional basketball player unbelievable discipline unbelievable Drive he started bringing that to picking up trash and the game started to change I marry good girl mom and take care of his kids and pay his bills that doesn’t solve everything but it gives him a way to suddenly regain himself when he sat around with all of his family and you saw part of those scenes and if you watch little areas of browsing this week you’ll see some more scenes from his family where you see him begin you realize they love me whether I’m rich or poor they love me what a professional basketball player or not they love me that’s what he was really after and when he got that it allowed him to let go and say I can do other things that doesn’t mean he won’t have challenges we’re all gonna have challenges in our life it doesn’t mean that at times he won’t wish he’s doing more but he’s no longer stuck he’s broken through because he now knows I have control I can change my life or I can change my blueprint and what I do I can fulfill it I can start to feel that aliveness now here’s the trap what do you think happens once you fulfill your blueprint regularly once you figure out how to do what you always dreamed of you always dream to live a certain way and now you’re living that way live in that way live in that way every day well the human nervous system the human spirit needs to grow so pretty soon you’ll get bored with that and you’ll come up with a new blueprint that’s part of the part of life that’s exciting see if you and I are from this day they’re gonna be happy just remember we’ve said it takes two things grow and give a meaningful life comes from growing that sense of progress and it comes from having life not just be about me but about we doing something that makes me feel connected to other people besides myself that growth that sense of contribution fills a deep spiritual need that we all have if you are unhappy in your life you got three choices really to blame that’s not a choice it’s not gonna work don’t blame someone else don’t blame you that don’t blame yourself just figure out what you’re gonna do to change your life that’s my specialty if you like my coaching or my team’s coaching come visit with us come to an event come get a coach come to a program or we’ll guide you through it more than just a few minutes like this and we’ll do it directly an environment that will shift you or change your blueprint you’re gonna have to rewire what’s going on inside and that’s what we focus on as well so I hope this journey has been an interesting one for you I hope it’s opened up your eyes to what it takes to go from where you are to where you want to be it takes changing your emotional pattern to change bringing presents to your life it takes realizing you have no problems compared to somebody else and putting your life in perspective it takes the ability to deal with those extreme stresses that happen in your life by questioning your limiting beliefs and again if we’d love to coach you and show you how to change those in a permanent way where it happens automatically just like lifting weights so often till the muscles always there you find yourself able to follow through it takes for you to be able to figure out how to deal with crisis and how to turn it around it takes facing your fear it takes pushing yourself through what used to stop you it takes putting yourself in a position where you connect to what’s more important than just yourself what you value than just miseries also the ability to realize that no matter what happens to you you’re more than that moment you’re more than the story you think you’re supposed to be and that even when you’re not matching what you think you need to be maybe there’s a reason for that maybe you’re having to find a different part of yourself that’s gonna fulfill you in a much deeper level sometimes failing to get your goal gives you your destiny I can’t tell you how many people I’ve known over the years who had an idea of what they thought their life was supposed to be like can didn’t achieve it they felt miserable and upset and frustrated then one day an opening happen and they went oh my god thank God that didn’t happen I think it’s Garth Brooks had a great song and it’s a song about when he was in high school and he was in love with this girl infatuated with her and she didn’t even know that he existed and he prayed to God every day that she would notice him that she would fall in love with him and then sure enough she never did he was so disappointed his blueprint didn’t match his life didn’t match it cuz she didn’t even know he existed and he felt this suffering he could do nothing to turn it around well 15 years later he became a guy named Garth Brooks somebody everybody knew and he could rock you know stadiums with his energy and his song and his music and he goes back to being this high school reunion it was his 15 year even if I remember correctly I don’t remember the exact year but all I remember is he said he saw that woman that he was so obsessed by I was looking forward to seeing her and now he was Garth Brooks and he met her and after he met her and spent some time with her he wrote a song called thank God for unanswered prayers sometimes not getting your blueprints the best thing to ever happen because the disappointment drives you to find something more important inside of you or not getting it makes you look for another aspect of your life a spiritual aspect of a family aspect a physical aspect if you can just trust that life doesn’t happen to you it happens for you then you can find in any situation a benefit that can take your life to the next level I don’t care if you’re Frank and Kristen I don’t care if you’re you know Mandy and Scott I don’t care if you’re Joaquin and Kim every one of us in our life is gonna feed faced situations where it feels like we have total trauma something that’s been taken from us the real question is what are you gonna do with it some people just live in the story of what they don’t have and they have the right to do that if Frank and Chris them lived in pain and felt bad we’d all say they have the right to do it it’s a difference doing what you have the right to do and what you deserve to give yourself and others we have the ability to transcend whatever happens to us there’s something called post-traumatic growth very few people know about it two people go through the same stress ones destroyed the other grows what’s the difference the people that grow will not give up they don’t have any excuses they find the way to break through whatever it takes and when they do three things happen number one they realize who they really are and what they’re capable of they realize there’s so much stronger than they thought they were and number two they deepen all their relationships you want to know who really cares about you who you love and who loves you go through some tragedy go through some hard times all your Facebook friends go away your real friends your real family shows up for you and you show up for them and it deepens your relationships and the third thing happens if you could push yourself through and break through whatever challenges life gives you is each time you have a breakthrough you get stronger and it almost like builds a psychological immunity in you where suddenly all of a sudden it’s like stuff happens you know stuffs gonna happen and you’re not scared of it anymore coz after you’ve been through a stroke after you’ve been through you know losing the use of some of your body or senses after you lose a family member and you break through to that you get to the other side it’s like give me your best shot life it’s almost like there’s this psychological immunity that says I’m ready for whatever life will give me I don’t want challenges but if they’re here I know I can handle them that strength of spirit is what creates a sense of freedom and joy in life and that strength of spirit basically comes from living a life where you are constantly a never ending thing you way to improve yourself and to help others that’s my mission and if we can serve you again in the future I hope you’ll check us out there’s three ways you can continue to participate with us you can come to an event come have an experience with us live in a weekend and our unleash the power within or our date with destinies I think you’ll find it’s very different than just sitting here talking to you quietly sitting in front of your computer screen it’s a rock and roll environment it’s like going to the ballpark and having one person sitting there talking to you versus being in the ballpark or the rock and roll concert you know with 50,000 there’s an energy and a power that comes from it second is there’s immersion here we talked for an hour there’s distractions and emails there it’s total focus and we go for immersion we’re literally what we did here over six weeks few little conversations all that happens over and over again multiple times a day and you get that shift so come to an event or call up and get a coach we have people that you can work with and have a free coaching session and make sure it’s really valuable for you but these are people that can check in with you to help make sure you break through you make the changes you want to make and your career your finances your body or your emotions or whatever area matters to you and finally lastly and probably most importantly every day you got to feed your mind coz every day most of us are turning on you know some form of news it shows up in our pocket and our blackberries or I you know iPods or iPhones I should say it shows up you know on your computer constantly it chases us and it rarely does a good idea interrupt you really what you have to do is pursue the ideas pursue the experiences they’re gonna change your life and we have a way to do it called met time no extra time a way where you can keep feeding your mind the stuff that really matters with some products or services so if you’re interested in any of those things be sure to click on your interest of an event or interest in having a free coaching session or maybe try one of our audio programs because the other challenge here is with video got to sit here potentially and watch me but with audio you can do it while you’re working out you can do it while you’re cleaning the house you can do it while you’re driving in the car or you’re getting to work we’d love to continue serving you in any way we can I know I’ve gone long in this session but I really want you to think about how can I get my life the way I want it to be the way I do it is I figure out what my blueprint is and I update it for what life is I changed my life match my blueprint and suddenly my life feels full and a life thank you for the time that we spent together here I’ve really enjoyed our time and I hope that this breakthrough series reminds you to never settle for less than you can be never settle for less than you can give or you can share live strong live with passion and god bless