Tony Robbins | HOW TO START OVER |Challege Yourself |Inspiration
why are you here that’s what we want to talk about today we got a look at what makes you really do what you do everything on earth has a purpose and you do to that purpose provides an inner drive that once you tap into it can give your life immense fulfillment it’ll also give you certainty because you know right now what a world that’s changing so rapidly that virtually every time you turn around you hear about something else that’s changing and I personally get to deal with hundreds of thousands of people per year I see about 250 to 300 thousand people a year in my live programs and I hear so much excitement and also there’s so much fear about the pace of change I mean we’ve all talked about changes happening so rapidly now in paradigm shifts and all that stuff has become so overused at this point that we become numb to it but it’s true never in the history of the world of things change so rapidly so you need to find something that’s eternal inside of yourself that no matter what changes on the surface this part of you does not change it’s the part you come back to the part that guides you the part that really makes you fulfilled and that’s your purpose because all of a sudden when you find out a friend’s got cancer or you turn around and you see that 35,000 people IBM got laid off or an entire industry disappeared overnight because a new one was created it’ll give you a way to find some good and virtually anything your purpose is available to you at any moment of your life but you gotta know what it is before we get into it let me back up a little bit here okay I have a good friend is one of the most successful financial people in the country he works in all these financial markets he’s an incredibly successful businessman but I know he’s working very hard right now on a goal and I went to visit him recently and boy he’s working hard he’s gonna achieve that goal but you know when the goals finally there then he’s gonna be happy I thought no no no no you know each moment we’ve got to be able to find some sense of meaning for our life something that a significant something is useful and we all know this is not a new conversation but as your coach and as your friend in these tapes I’d like to draw your attention to some things that maybe you already know but haven’t thought about for a while maybe get you to put some of your focus into the most important area life which is enhancing meaning see all of us in life have to have a reason to be here if all you’re doing out there is going out and trying to achieve goals and then you achieve them and I’m sure you’ve run into that trip up wire that says okay I’ve achieved the goal now what right we achieve the goal and your brain says is this all there is see the purpose of the goal is I’ve shared with you so many times is not to achieve the goal the purpose of the goal is what it makes of us as people who we become ultimately with all we have to have a sense that who we even have become as some kind of meaning without that there’s not a reason to live there’s not a reason to get up there’s not a reason to go out there and make it happen what’s really controlling this man’s life is fear when people say they’re cynical or they’re pessimistic what they’re really screaming out to you is I’m scared out of my mind I’m afraid to dream again I’m afraid to think about what’s possible I’m afraid to really put myself on the line and so I’m gonna go for something I’m gonna stand for something I’m gonna put myself in line in a relationship or my business or my vision to make a difference in the world because you know what maybe at one time this person did that maybe they tried it several times and it didn’t work and they got pain and pain and pain but he said they didn’t want the pain so they stopped dreaming he stopped and visioning he stopped cutting me up a meaning instead they try to keep themself away from the pain by saying well there’s no meaning in it all anyway but unfortunately that gives you the ultimate pain cuz it gives you a life without meaning and no one can live a life that’s fulfilled without a sense of meaning see we’ve been put here for a reason question is why and the answer I think is different for every one of us is different for me than it is for you and yet it’s the same every one of us has been put here every one of us is unique and different and special and I believe our Creator if I’m gonna use the word God if I’m a God has put you here for a reason questions what is it God does not create things without a purpose everything on earth serves the purpose why are you here what are you here to do what are you here to become to create and to give these are some of the most significant questions that you can answer in your life and even when you answer them I’m sure that as your life expands you’ll come up with better answers as you get more experience and you get closer in touch with your own innermost being and maybe a closer in touch with your Creator as well so Tony where are you going with this I’m really going to the essence of giving your life what you deserve which is knowing that there are no mistakes knowing that every little thing you do has a consequence it can be a positive consequences if you choose it the most powerful thing that has consequence in your life though is the thing we talk about so often but I gotta say it again and that is what’s really ultimately shaping our lives our decisions the first decision is a decision about what to focus on where your focus goes gonna determine how you think how you feel what you do ultimately what your life turns out like what you’re able to contribute the bottom line is we must find an empowering focus out of any situation the second decision that shapes our life and the meaning of our lives are the decisions that we make about what something means meaning as ultimately something we determine that’s the exciting part about it and that’s the scary part about it the third decision of course is what are you going to do something happens see so much of the fear that we see in life comes from the fact that most of us don’t feel like we’re in control we’re running around trying to control all the events of our lives and every single one of us is going to experience multiple situations in our life that no matter how skillful we are well we cannot control the event well it’s just not something that we can control because we didn’t initiate it anytime you’re dealing with other people this is gonna happen anytime you’re dealing with Mother Nature this is gonna happen most of us in life are so afraid something’s gonna happen that we can’t control therefore we’re gonna get pain that we try to avoid those things we can’t control we try to shape our lives where we spend our time who we spend our time with what we do by environments that we feel really comfortable in when we feel like we’re really controlling them what that does is it limits the shape and quality of our lives we’ve got to do want to put ourselves out there to discover what we’re really capable of or put in environments when we don’t know what to do we don’t know what things mean we’re not sure it’s in those environments that we grow the most it’s in those environments we discover more of our true purpose as human beings it’s there that our character is shaped you know so many times we set goals or we have dreams or we have plans and we work our tail off and it doesn’t come out the way we want and a lot of people come out of those situations disillusioned or angry or resentful or frustrated they look for someone to blame but you know sometimes I really truly believe that not getting your goal as part of the design it’s part of the game plan causing you to dig inside and discover more of yourself to really begin to use your real capacity as human being those traits that are within you that only expand what they’re challenged when demands are made upon them you know I truly believe that God is not so much interested in our convenience as he is in our character you know and I also believe it because something hasn’t happened right away when you wanted it and designed it didn’t work out doesn’t mean it’s not gonna happen it’s really a test of how committed are you it’s really a test designed to make you become more gods delays are not God’s denials unless you give up of course if you don’t do your part then of course whatever you’ve envisioned will never come to be but we have to be willing to continue to put ourselves forth and know that events will show up that we can’t control so let me ask you a question you go okay I understand all this Tony but how do you ever have a sense of certainty in a world that’s changing all the time where you set goals you do all the right things and still doesn’t always turn out right how do you live in a world or suddenly something can happen it can take away your whole business or you know storm could come and take away your home or or some calamity could happen to your personal family or a disease could hit or or someone could die how do you deal with all that and the answer is you have to know the one thing you can control is not events where you control is what things mean to you and therein comes the secret to life because no matter what happens in your life the meaning of what has happened is yours you get to determine it as long as you’re conscious and you don’t allow the people around you to teach you what to think and as long as you don’t just go on automatic pilot and allow your nervous system to make up connections that are false let me give an example of what happens to people certainly by now you realize that what you do is human being is primarily driven by your need to avoid pain your desire for pleasure right but see all of us have learned through life certain things mean more pain than others and so some people are driven by their fear right to experience the emotion of fear is the most incredible painful thing they could ever imagine so they’ll do anything to avoid being in a fearful situation other people are driven by their desire to feel a sense of adventure obviously they make decisions differently they focus on different things in life they can walk in the same room as someone who lives in fear and they’re gonna notice different things they’re gonna want to sit in a different place they’re gonna want to try a different kind of vacation than someone who’s trying to focus on how to be secure what drives you are you driven by guilt are you driven by your past when we would use the word driven the word drive it really means to guide to control or to direct something so what’s guiding me what’s controlling you what’s directing your behavior what’s directing your focus what’s directing the meaning you’re pulling from your life what is it is it your parents is it the competition you have with somebody else is it wanted to prove somebody wrong is it your desire to contribute is it your desire for Julie or happiness or is it a sense of purpose that’s driving you a sense there’s something out there for you to do if something your designed to evolve into to become to share to give to create you don’t even know what it is but you’re willing to trust that each day more that’s gonna come out see whatever drives you that’s what’s shaping your life and the challenges that most of us never consciously decide what we’re gonna have drive our life see we’re not stimulus-response animals but we can be stimulus-response animals our nervous systems are designed to help us they’re designed to be a source of decision-making they’re designed to help us very quickly when you have an experienced figure out what is the source of that pain so we can avoid it in the future what is that source of that pleasure so we can have more of it in the future but when we don’t think things through when we don’t think things through in an empowering way we don’t have faith that there’s a higher meaning we tend to settle like animals for the lowest meaning that we can find well this is happening because I’m a bad person this is happening because there’s something wrong with me this is happening because I’m just destined to fail or worse very often in life we don’t even consciously think things through our nervous system just makes quick decisions hey every moment you’re alive whatever you have a significant amount of pain your brain says hey what is the source of this pain and it uses three criteria I’m sure you remember to determine what the source of your pain is it looks for something that is happening about the same time you’re having the pain that is unique because after all you weren’t feeling pain a moment ago you got pain now what’s unique about this situation it looks for something that is recent something’s happening about the same time you have the pain and it also looks for something that has consist of something that whenever you have had pain in the past this has also been a factor in that situation let me tell you how these three criteria can help you you go out one day when you’re a child and you touch a hot stove you feel some pain you pull it back your brain says okay what was unique to that moment that gave me the pain it looks around us inside this burner right and says what was happening about the same time I felt the pain I was touching this burner and what’s consistent about it well maybe nothing until you do it again after doing it two or three times or maybe one time does it hurt enough maybe one time is consistent it’s like when somebody says to you always do that you know I don’t always do that yes you do you always do it I’ve done it one time yeah but well that’s always what human beings can make one time consistent if it’s painful enough so the bottom line is what do you learn your nervous system learns you don’t grab burners alright you just don’t do that and so in the future when you’re trying to make a decision about what to focus on what things mean and what to do and you’re going buy a burner one of the options is not to go grab that baby just for fun so as basic as this lesson is we feel to realize that this simple system that assists us so much and making decisions because it helps us discover what is the source of our pain or our pleasure so we can avoid the pain gain the pleasure in the future this simple system can be misguided or misinterpret information see here’s how it works so give me an example I was doing a date with destiny only a couple weekends ago um several people are having major challenges in their life one lady just couldn’t get herself to really have any meaning in her life and so I kept digging digging digging the no problem that she had as he felt lonely because she felt disconnected because she wanted to have someone she could share her life with but she couldn’t get herself to do that why would you guess someone couldn’t get themself to be able to share their life not hard to figure out is it pain person obviously as I guessed had a painful relationship in the past which she had was so painful that she linked up in her head that marriage she had a previous one that was painful equals death we’re gonna kind of keep you away from getting into closer relationship right and how did her brain do that well she said she was in this relationship but was so great but after they got married this man became physically abusive verbally abusive he basically did everything he could to control every aspect of her life and the worst thing of all when she finally got up developed the courage to divorce this man he threatened dolly her life but he also threatened their own son’s life now when that happened she got linked up marriage equals death to not only need the potential loss of the life of my child that’s even more than the loss of her own life for her well it’s not too hard to figure out that if your brain says why am I feeling is ultimate pain it looks for something unique and says well because I’m married and then it looks around and says what was happening about the same time I felt the pain marriage and you say what was consistent during the pain you go marriage pretty soon you can avoid marriage but it doesn’t stop there her brain also linked up that the cause of her pain was something else two men was after all what was unique I have this man around I was married to a man right and then secondly what else was going on well about the same time I was feeling the pain I was with this man and sure enough what was recent this man right out the time I had the pain he was there every time so sure enough all sudden she’s avoiding all men but didn’t stop there she also linked up that the reason she thought this pain was because she trusted so as a result her brain linked up unconsciously if you trust then you will die now I would say to you the opposite is true if you don’t trust if you don’t have faith then you instantly die internally you may not die physically but you die emotionally because anything that’s worth living in life requires faith it requires trusting it requires knowing that you can get out of the chair and walk on this floor and when you step out on the floor you don’t stop and have to analyze can I do this and you don’t weigh everything and think about your weight and the structure of the floor what’s underneath that you just trust otherwise you’d be immobilized you have to trust the drive a car you have to have faith to enter a relationship get faith to start a business you have to faith when all of a sudden somebody this company says these 35,000 people are gone into faith that if you’re one of those 35,000 that there is a better plan for you and that you will now act on that faith and take action and find that better plan that better solution for your life you must have that you lose trust you lose meaning when you lose meaning you lose your life again maybe not physically but certainly emotionally and when you lose it emotionally the physical loss of life often is not that far behind medical researchers are now proving the mind-body connection is not some psycho babble but a physical reality that the way we think in the way we feel about our lives affects us physically in fact dr.
Chopra recently shared with me that there is a new study that was done in the state of Massachusetts where they began to study what causes someone to die of their first heart attack before the age of 50 where they never get another chance I was what was the number one risk factor they wanted to know and they assumed that what would cause them to die from just their very first heart attack never another chance would be a person just had so much cholesterol in the body the body wasn’t able to recover they found that that was not the number one risk factor and I thought well maybe that diabetes maybe it was more of a genetic factor they had once again disproved that theory with the Department of Health Education and Welfare for the state of Massachusetts states in their article clearly is the most important risk factor to determine that you will die of your first heart attack and not get a second chance is what they call job dissatisfaction you’ve got to have a deeper meaning for your life than oh I’m on that grindstone again I’m on that treadmill no wonder those people life’s turn to alcohol or drugs or television and even then they can’t find something entertaining themselves even then little sense any fulfillment because distraction does not create a life of significance distraction does not create joy distraction will not give you what you’re seeking drugs will not change your life for the better right what they’ll do is hurt you they’ll create pain and there are all kinds of drugs anything that doesn’t expand you as human being or allow you to share more love and joy with others in a natural way that enhances your physiology and your mind your emotions and your spirit is something you probably don’t need you gotta grow you got expand you got to contribute you’ve got to know that you’re here for a purpose there are no mistakes there is a meaning even if you haven’t found it yet you must discover it you know what for most people they don’t just recovered the meaning of their life until their life is over what a sad place to be or until they have a life-threatening illness we’re until somebody very close to them that they love is about to leave them you don’t have to wait for the pain to discover the meaning so I know what I found the purpose of my life you decide what it is you discover it and you decide this is it from maybe later on I’ll define it it probably will but for right now this is why I’m playing the game of life this is what it’s about everyday if I’m just being this way if I’m just doing these kinds of simple things with other people with myself then I know I’m on track I know there’s a reason for my existence we all have that I know you know a story of Viktor Frankl right the manner up man’s search for meaning here’s a man who’s in a Nazi concentration camp with pain everywhere around him knowing any moment he could be gassed or may be spared and the disparity to have the unique privilege of going out and taking the dead bodies out of those gas chambers putting them in the big ovens talk about intense and you’ve somehow in the midst of that pain he’s found a deeper meaning the meaning was that even though he was in pain in the moment somehow someday he would survive this and he would come to share the story so that this would never happen to other people in the future he couldn’t find a meaning in the moment he found a meaning in the future and for most of us the meaning that we want for our lives is here today and it’s preparing us for an even greater meaning in the future if we’ll just use all of our life’s experience the pain and the pleasure to become more to prepare ourselves for whatever it is that our Creator has brought us here for to prepare ourselves so that at the moment of truth we’re needed we will deliver and my real belief is we’re gonna be delivering all along the way it isn’t something that someday you’re gonna deal with something new every day are doing you know my former spouse Becky just recently lost her father and it’s been a tough time for her because in a very short period of time year she’s lost both her mom and her dad and that’s an event you cannot control and God knows we tried you know three years ago when they told us that father had cancer they told us that he would die within a period of anywhere from three to six months and we just did not allow them to tell him that for the obvious reasons you know how odd I believe from all the people we’ve learned from from everyone from dr.
Bernie Siegel to Norman Cousins dr. Deepak Chopra we understand the mind-body connection if someone decides that because they have some dis-ease in their body what it means is they’re gonna die then of course they will and fortunately he never found out that diagnosis and what we did is we kept making sure he had a compelling future he had a sense of meaning a variety of things that he was needed for and it was amazing how he physically responded Ali a trip scheduled for him to go to Fijian on which he went on and talked about how we needed his help with our resort Aaron helping some of the fugiens in the garden because the garden for him created so much meaning in his life about supporting about nurturing about helping life along a little bit and so he that he was excited about things we wanted to do with his grandkids and so we kept giving him compelling futures and sure enough three months went by he was healthy six months went by he was healthy a year went by and through a variety of interventions pretty soon he seemed to be better and tells us recently when we started getting phone calls from his neighbors he lived up in a place called Ram Colorado a little town with 14 people in it and he’s been a major part of for years and years and they started cost to tell us but they didn’t think he could take care of himself anymore so go out and brought him back here the first few days he was in phenomenal shape it was like he was completely restored being around the grandkids and then being in the environment he was all excited to share about things that are happening in his little town of RAM that he helped to create there about all about the calves that he helped to deliver and about the planting season and how they helped people through the winter and some of the stories they’d been telling and he was just totally alive and we took him to doctors for a series of tests they said they wanted to keep him overnight the next day we called my spoke to his main doctor and he said it looks like he just has a foreign meningitis so he said that’ll be really easily treatable and he should be okay and he said so don’t worry he said we’re just gonna do a series of more tests because he’s a bit dehydrated he lives in an altitude of about 11,500 feet and he’s not drinking enough water and he said so you know we’re gonna run a couple more tests he said next day he said but I think it’ll be fine he said I have to go out of town and he said my you know partner doctor will be working with him so said I’ve passed on all the information you can check in with him tomorrow well the next day Becky went to go see your dad and I was out doing a seminar and I got a phone call on the phone call was that they’ve done additional tests and that they found out that the cancer had spread throughout a spine and into his brain and while it wasn’t treatable before when they told us three years ago it’s certainly not treatable now and that they thought he would die within weeks the worst part was though they also told this to him before they told the Becky so he had no one there to support him through the process or to get him other options when I found this out I became so angry with the doctors cuz I focused on how he’d violated what we asked them to do and how the other doctor should have told his partner doctor not to tell him yet to allow us to talk to him to prepare him for the situation that was so harsh it was so unfair and the meaning of it was that it was gonna really harm him that it all said he would give up hope and what I wanted to do was lash out and fortunately I didn’t lash out instead I started focused on what’s happening to see so what can I do so I went to go see him and talk to him and it was unbelievable he looked like he just aged ten years in a day because what had happened is he had no future there was no purpose in fighting the pain or trying to make things happen or you know trying to tell stories do anything because after all you’re gonna die anyway soon and that was kind of the way he was interpreting it sure enough no matter what we said he just didn’t seem to respond he’s just seem to go into a total stupor and for the next day and a half or so he just sat in the corner he really didn’t say very much or communicate very much he just said not to bother with him that he was fine didn’t open up emotionally when I just sat down with him tonight I cried and I told him how much I loved him and much Becky loved him and how he needed to share with us what he was really feeling because then holding that back wasn’t keep protecting us from pain we just felt separate from and then we met that he could choose how what this was gonna mean for his life did he the doctors had told us three years ago that he was gonna die with a matter of months then here it was three years later I said what if you would have just sat around for three years in this little corner doing nothing because you thought you’re gonna die any day or any week and so that’d be pretty crazy on he started laughs but I said look at this I said you can’t just sit off in this corner Hey you might die tomorrow you might die in six weeks you might die in six months in my dad in six years you might die in ten or twenty years and really screw these people’s brains up I said it doesn’t matter how long you’re gonna live what’s come at us how are you gonna live while you’re here I said you’ve lived an incredible life that he in World War two you’re a pilot you know you’re a businessman now you’re this guy who’s touching this little town up in Colorado everybody knows you and cares about you loves you because you love them I said you’ve braised these incredible kids I said you know if you’re gonna go go out and style go out because you decided to go out in an energy that you want to where you really enjoy your life don’t just shut down because somebody told you life’s over cuz you buy into it don’t do it and he said well you know Tony said the truth is I’m not afraid to die he said everything he said is true he said you know my life has been so rich he says I feel like you know I’ve lived my purpose now I look around and I see my kids and I see what they’re like is people and I see what I’ve done and and I think maybe it’s time for me to go now I said listen if you’re deciding to do that because you really want to go I said then you know I love you I’m he said oh you know I cry I’m gonna cry and I’m not gonna try and keep you here and not just because we love you I said but at the same time don’t leave because somebody tells you it’s time to go he said well it’s time to go you’ll know I said you can go consciously you can decide whether the time you don’t have to wait to the paynus on attention can’t stand it but the same time don’t go any quicker then your meaning is done I think right now you’re teaching your family a whole lot of new lessons he said yeah that’s probably true I said so what do you want to do how do you want to do things I see let’s get your Fanny and out of here let’s get about we have this great conversation and talk at all kinds of things it will bore you the details but I’ll let him know that you ever worry about his daughter and she’d become the kind of person he could always be proud of it was amazing because the next three four five days he came to life all of a sudden there was an purpose and things again all of a sudden he was alive he’d go out by the pool and tell stories and so forth and he went over to the Polo Grounds and did all kinds of just really great things and then I went away for a seminar and I came back two days later and it was like he was gone he’s having difficult time holding himself up you have round-the-clock care for him pretty soon he wasn’t able to carry on a conversation he would start talking gibberish start seeing things that were invisible and point to them how the end was coming and as the end started to come there was more and more pain to tears and we felt at all and also at the same time reminded ourselves hey we’re making this thing but it’s lost because if our short-term thinking about this man and his body and his presence his life will live on beyond his physical presence here and for him what it probably means his freedom finally be free of the painful bodies been in for so many years for him it’s a chance to be with his wife Becky’s mom she has to be whether the loved ones there was another meeting that could give you joy at the same time you’re feeling pain and so we try to focus on those and one night I got home and I was sudden I was called by the nurse Becky’s dad just passed away and share with back we cry and my talk to Santa I’m she felt incredible sets a piece for him it’s amazing how instantly how we felt could changes by changing what we focused on more lost is gained to the feeling of joy for him to be free who couldn’t control the event but we can certainly direct our own minds that thinking beyond ourselves to something deeper it would be Bernini in life I got back yesterday from calling Becky up to this little town and ran Colorado well done I’d never been to before Becky had been there many times I got a chance to see where Cecil lived and the impact he had you didn’t really want a funeral he never liked people quote put on airs for anything it’s a simple man simple values a simple mission when I got there I looked around and he never explicitly said what the mission of his life was a purpose of his life but in a town of 14 people on we went out to this gravesite put his body into the ground and suddenly person after person started showing up we knew all 14 people be there because we’d nearly touched them all they all loved him he was the storyteller it’s the man who took an old car years ago and painted it black and white but a star on the side but a dump in the inside of glasses made it look like a police car so the people came running through this little town which consisted about seven or eight buildings that they might slow down his house was called the rand Yacht Club because he invited everybody up for coffee every single morning at least 300 days a year figured I could tell him a story and cheer him up he surrounded a restaurant there called the wires layer the reason was because he had people who tell people stories and he tell the wildest tales and get people to believe them sure enough after about 10 or 15 years began to realize that some of these things were stories and they all laughed as they told me stories about this incredible man who touched their lives when we got to the gravesite not only did 14 people show up Old Town it’s four hours outside of Denver people came from all over people came from my homey people came from Denver pretty soon there were a hundred people at a great site where there’s not supposed to be a service to honor a man had touched their lives so we said you know you don’t have any formal service cuz that’s not what he wanted but before we put his body in the ground isn’t him I like to say anything and we all talked about how he touched them their life was greater because he was such a loving slaw and his smile a test for that his stories attached that’s just his manner that he was lover of people in animals because he’d been in this pound their lives would never be the same people who come through the town just for a day just says little Amos he was a man who said if you can’t say something nice about something don’t say anything at all he never said negative word about anybody in fact one man probably the most telling tale of this man’s life he said cecil’s a kind of guy so they sat down one day with him and said what are you doing about all those rodents that keep stealing our animals are you poison in the money shooting him you’re trapping him are you killing what are you doing because they’re taking all my stuff and the Cecil said and I said I just plant twice as much I thought what a life what a man his life was his mission his mission was real simple love people while the animals love beings make the world a little bit better by just being nice he lived a life of significance one that had mean he didn’t go out and change everything on earth he didn’t make a billion dollars he doesn’t have people writing him up everywhere and he changed people’s lives and he died in his sleep out of pain the day he decided to go and he created in his family a greater sense of courage to look at life in a new way and a greater sense of dedication to give even more he added to our drive he had at our commitment to be givers in life as he was to any soul who had the privileges across his path I hope it also makes you think about what’s most important in your life I remember an interview with Michael Landon in Life magazine when he knew he was gonna go he said quote somebody should tell us right at the start of our lives that were dying and we might live life to the limit every minute of every day do what I say whatever you want to do do it now there are only so many tomorrow’s if you and I are gonna live our lives fully then maybe sometimes we can take the experiences of fell’s around us and learn from them we can learn that when all of our lives worry the warnings or examples ceaseless life was an incredible example he didn’t think anything in life was insignificant not a rodent not a flower and not an animal not a stranger passing through he lived by a philosophy but they also live in Fiji by the way Fiji was his favorite place the last things he told me was that happiest time his life lasted years with the trips he took the Fiji mangas cuz he felt like there everybody understood what he understood the life is meant to be a happy to be a joy to appreciate the little things as well as the big things appreciate one another to be givers to be lovers of life I say to you that if you’re driven by anything other than your love and your spirit and your desire to contribute your desire to grow and expand if you’re driven by their need to please others if you’re driven by your fear if you’re driven by your past maybe it’s time to free yourself and the way to do it is decide decide consciously what you want your life to be about decide consciously what’s the purpose of your life something simple something you can live every single day and I think that when I look at people’s lives and I see the people who are having so much difficulty I think the number one reason why people fail to experience joy and life experience life as a wind it’s not because their life isn’t the wind because the wind can be just reaching out and touching somebody around you the wind can be just telling somebody that you love them the wind could be taking care of your body God’s temple the wind can be stopping and feeling grateful the wind can be anywhere you don’t have to land on the moon to have the win and you can enjoy landing on the moon – how much better to enjoy the process because we’re going to spend most of our life in process towards the achievement of goals they’re not saying don’t go do things and I’m not saying don’t have grand schemes and dreams and they’re not saying don’t do those because our lives are better because people dream huge dreams they need them happen but I’m saying don’t do it at the expense of not appreciating what’s true along the way and the Cecil’s are – is office all those little things that are so so important and we’ve always believed that important I feel like we’ve always lived that they’re important but I just want to redouble the effort part of my commitment to him and I sell and his honor I challenge you to do the same I challenge you to hold yourself to a higher standard I challenge you to realize that you’re here for a purpose there’s something for you to do and be here for yourself and for others you can’t just do for others not do for yourself or you won’t be here so this is really designed to get you to ask yourself are you being efficient are you being effective in your life there’s a big difference if you’re being efficient then what you’re doing is you’re doing things right but if you’re being effective you’re doing the right things are you doing the things that are gonna give you the most joy in your life why are you doing what you’re doing and where is it taking you you know we all need to have what I call a code of conduct a set of standards we hold ourselves to every day about how we’re gonna be is people the kinds of states we’re gonna live in cuz it’s out of those states that we affect everyone around us just stop and think about what’s most important think about why you’re here what’s the purpose of your life step out of the moment and into eternity think about what’s eternal when you’re feeling insecure start to realize there is something inside of you that is never-ending if there’s something inside of you that is unchangeable and that’s the part of you that knows what is right what to do and why you’re here so you know how that may sound metaphysical and may sound religious or spiritual call it whatever you want but know that the bottom line is that you are here for a reason and that it’s a special reason that only you know and it may be that you haven’t found it that you’re looking for something huge and it may be that you’re living it right now you’re just not appreciating your purpose maybe what you’re doing right now is your life purpose this thing that you detest most or maybe what it is doing is giving you the challenge to really discover something within yourself that allow you to give and be more because life is about two things being and doing how are you gonna be as a human being I mean ultimately our destiny is who do we become as people and what do you do what do you contribute that’s what it’s about that’s what gives us a sense of fulfillment and a life of significance it’s one of growth and contribution it’s one you decide what your life’s about simply are you what are you here for you here to live to learn to grow here to love what are you here for I’m asking these questions I hope in your thinking not just listening to me what is the special plan for you you’ve got to discover the purpose tree like there is a plan there’s something here for you that’s different than anybody else in the world and you’ve got to discover what it is and the best way to discover it’s just trust your instinct and say what is it it was simple as clear and I was living your day why am I here because if you never discover your purpose how can you ever win the game of life how can you really enjoy it the early yeah I look around at people so often they’re so unhappy and I think the reason is that they don’t ever win the game of life it’s a game they feel like they can’t win like they’re always losing and the reason number one is I think there’s 7 reasons I’ll give you 7 I’ve jotted some down here I think number one is I think most people never win the game of life they never feel fulfilled I never feel joy because they don’t know the purpose of the game because if you don’t know the purpose of the game what’s your chances of ever winning I’ve ever get to ring the bell feel that sense of fulfillment or joy or passion or love or whatever it is that you truly want at the deepest level see if you set himself the purpose the game you don’t know the goal is pretty hard to set up your game to win isn’t it pretty soon you start pursuing things that don’t give you fulfillment living somebody else’s life other than your own you gotta know what are you doing it all for what do you really want but ask most people this question what do you want they give me answers like well I know what I don’t want I don’t want to live this way anymore I don’t want to feel like Alan evil whore that’s not gonna give you what you want what do you really want oh I want to finally be financially secure so I can retire great you know statistics about Retirement actuary is statistics from insurance companies show the three years after a man retires specifically I’m using men guess what happens he dies to retire is to die and for some people this is like their major aim think about it retirement is gonna make you happy you gotta have a purpose you gotta know what it is you’ve got to decide what it is at least for now know that that vision will continue to expand second reason why most people fail the game called life because even though they don’t know the purpose of the game that got tons of rules about how it must be played they don’t even know the goal they got all these rules they gotta live by and not only do they have rules for themselves but they have rules for everybody else around them rules for how their spouse should be rules about how their boss should be rules from people they don’t even know on the street should be you know it’s so often like we get upset with other people and it’s not about the other people it’s about our rules they’re doing something we know they shouldn’t be doing or they’re not doing something we know they should be doing alright we need just relax a little bit you need to realize that whatever people are doing they got a reason may not be a very intelligent reason by our perspective but who are we to say and you know what and maybe it isn’t an intelligent reason by lots of people’s ideas but you know what is a reason I mean it all comes down how do we wire ourselves as human beings see whenever you see somebody you think they’re doing something crazy have some compassion are there any stupid things you’ve never done in your lifetime or crazy I would hallucinate based on my own personal experience answer maybe you betcha from the bottom line is we gotta understand that things are going on that we don’t understand with people you know one time I was talking to Stephen Covey about times when we misinterpreted people’s behavior and he told me about this time I got on the subway and this man walked in and brought on a bunch of his kids and they were just running rampant screaming yelling making noise creating havoc and you know Stephens more of a mellow centered kind of guy he doesn’t like that kind of environment even on the subway and the bottom line is you know he didn’t want to say anybody fan stuff getting more and more irritating the man scene he’s just ignoring the kids like didn’t even matter what they were doing so he found himself on the point where he actually spoke up so Stephen turned him and said you know do you think you might want to do something about these children and the man looked at him and said oh yeah I guess I said huh he said we just got back to the hospital their mother just died he said I just don’t think they know how to deal with it quite honestly neither do I he felt like absolute garbage and he said it made him from then on and realize whatever’s going on there may be something else going on as well I mean a half compassion gave him fewer rules for other people in his life not a bad idea but we were talking about people that don’t succeed in life and I hope they succeed one they don’t know the purpose of the game – they’ve got tons of rules even though they love the purpose how’d you like to be in a game you’re trying to win hey you don’t know the goal and you got a zillion rules you gotta live by it’ll be pretty frustrating wouldn’t it why ad step three do it here’s the third reason people fail to win the game of life and that is because their rules are in conflict we’ve got all these different special rules where we contradict ourselves we’re in one situation you’re supposed to be one way and another situation is supposed to be totally different in order to be effective see if you’ve got a bunch of rules in conflict which most of us do you’re gonna have pain you’re gonna have frustrations in your life here’s the fourth reason why most people won’t win the game of life because even when the person plays by the rules they don’t always win know what you do everything right you don’t always get rewarded you give your all you put your heart and soul them on you do everything right and still sometimes it rains on your parade sometimes you know a storm comes down and beat the death out of your crop all of a sudden you’re in the Midwest and the flood comes and destroys all you’ve worked on you know that kind of messes your brain a little bit you start saying hey you know why even try there’s no meaning this everything I do is for naught that’s worthless not realizing there’s a deeper meaning there’s a meaning beyond the moment that what’s happening in this life right now this event you can’t control whether it’s the loss of a father as Becky has gone through and a father in law’s I have or there’s loss of a business or anything that seems to be a loss is a gain if you ask yourself how can I use this what else can this mean if I can’t use it today how will I use this someday how can I turn this into opportunity how can I make myself more how can I use this pain my soul what can I do right now to move myself forward these are the kinds of questions or support units that have Lohse me why me why this have to happen you’ll never get an answer to those those questions are leave you in an endless loop here’s the fifth reason why most people fail the game called life sometimes you break the rules and you win oh my gosh you do something you know isn’t right you do something you know you shouldn’t do something that’s against your own values against your own way of doing things and you get pleasure and your brain goes hey for maybe there’s some new rules out here maybe I don’t have to live by these rules after all when I work my butt off and did everything right and help myself to size standard I got pain I break the rule I got pleasure maybe there’s not really wire maybe out of this like take a look at life being this way you know it does it takes you away from your higher purpose it takes you away from what’s most important in your life and while you might get pleasure in the short term you give up that sense of dignity within yourself that says you’re doing the right thing that’s what causes more people to fail life and I think almost anything else cuz the ultimate pleasure in life requires sometimes short-term pain to get to it and that ultimate pleasures really become what you contribute and the experience of life that you have because of that growth and contribution the sixth reason when most people fail the game called life it’s because in order to win this game you got to work with five and a half billion other people all have the wrong rules they don’t know the purpose of the game either and they are real clear that there are certain rules you must live by we all have different rules because we’ve all learned different ways of getting out of pain and into pleasure in life you gotta learn from one another and finally the seventh reason why most people fail the game called life because they think it’s a life and death game and you said well it is a life and death game well I’m the first person to agree that this is not a practice session this is the real thing that’s what I’m gonna live it full-on but if you think everything is life and death every moment you put so much pressure on yourself that you truly will not live life you live in fear that’s no life at all how do you live life and win the game well in spite of all the stuff that sounds so terrible there are people that seem to be winning seem to be fulfilled seem to be making seem to have a great deal of joy in their life and they seem to have it consistently and they’re not doing it through drugs or alcohol or distraction they’re doing it through living a life of significance how they done it they do what we do in our date with destiny seminar we accomplish 7 things in that seminar and I bring it up because I hope you’ll take the time and actually come we’ll get your purpose and your mission statement and your values all in the exact order you ideally need them to be so you’re being pulled adduction you want sitting pulling multiple directions but for right now here’s what we do this is what we’re gonna start doing on this tape it’s the first thing these people have to succeed or fulfilled as they’ve decided what the purpose of the game is at least for right now if you follow me on this they said ok I don’t know what the purpose is ultimately but let me just decide for right now the purpose of my life as to what it’s the love and be loved us to grow is to expand us to make a difference do this is do that they come up with a purpose which is what I wants to do at the end this tape the start I know it’s not the end all and be all from one tape but I want to get you started on a mission stick and a purpose statement for your life you got to have that if you don’t at least have a target you don’t know what the goal of the game is you don’t know what to decide to do we have all these choices all these opportunities so you don’t have to choose between something that’s good and bad you have to choose between something that’s good and something that’s great but if you don’t know what your purpose is you don’t know you value most of life you can’t make an easy decision all decision-making is value clarification if you don’t know where you’re going then you can get there by any road you’re not gonna know the difference and everything looks like great opportunity one of the biggest challenges in life is choosing focusing your life deciding what to spend your time on what to spend your energy on having a clear purpose allows you to do that second thing you want to do to make your life work and those who succeed do this is they have fewer rules the more rules you have about how people have to be in how life has to be for you to be happy the less happy you’re gonna be see you know the happiest people those people say you know every day above ground is a great day Happy’s people that people find joy in a smile joy an adventure join a simple action if you find joy in that area then all the big things are just a big bonus for you in your life so when you find yourself starting to react to something that someone else has done then you might want to ask yourself how significant is this really right is this so bad is it okay for this person to have a different opinion a different view of different feeling than me in this area in most cases you might say yeah it is what would you have to believe in order to be upset that everybody has to live by your rules well maybe in some areas that’s real important you may be cement there’s it’s not a significant you just let go of it have a lot less pain the third thing that people win the game of life seem to have in common is they’ve made their rules consistent they found the conflicts in their life when they find them they’ve been honest with self and say this is a total contradiction of what I normally believe in other areas no more there’s not I’m gonna live my life for thing these people do that make them succeed as they give themself pleasure whenever they win even when the world doesn’t this is really important you gotta realize that sometimes you’ll do everything right you won’t get acknowledged so what acknowledge yourself you gotta catch yourself doing little things right and give yourself the pleasure you deserve after all if somebody else tells you hey great job and that makes you feel good it’s nothing saying great job that makes you feel good that’s when they say great job you stop and say oh that means I get to feel good and you send a little neurotransmitter it allows yourself to feel the pleasure feeling in your body why not just give it to yourself so that you keep yourself on track so you’re always reinforcing good behaviors excellent behaviors commitments to your highest values fifth thing these people have in common is when they screw up when they don’t do things right when they violate their own values when they violate their own sense of purpose and life they give themselves a short burst of pain they say this is not who I am I stand for more they don’t wait to the world to have to give them pain that’s why they’re on track the sixth thing with these people that win have in common is that they know that everybody life has different rules and so when they get in a relationship with people they know they’ve got to have other people in our life to help succeed in particular area they try to find out their rules because if you know it’s most important to people you know what their rules for life are what their musts are in life it’s a lot easier and lastly people who succeed a life they’ve learned that life has a purpose but they also at the same time don’t take life too seriously they don’t take themselves too seriously what’s that old funny metaphor why do angels fly because they take themselves lately for it the bottom line is we’ve got to look at life in a different way now with all this conversation we’ve had here about purpose what are you and I gonna do right now so that you have a greater sense of meaning but one is I don’t need you just go out and create this grandiose purpose and write pages and pages and pages I think that the simplest things can be the most powerful things so if you can now close your eyes and think about what you want to be when you’re gonna grow up go back to a time when you’re 5 6 7 8 9 10 years old what you want to be back then what you want to do who are your role models and why did you want to be that think about it just for a second your head as I’m saying this might be want to write a few these things down in fact pretty soon you’re definitely gonna want to write things down so might be good to stop the tape right here and just think about what your purpose is and pull out a piece of paper and a pen or a little computer and let’s work together on this for a second what were some of the things you wanted to be when you were growing up when you’re a little kid I remember one of the first things I wanted to be was an archaeologist now whatever you wanted to be here’s the question I want to ask you why did you want to be that in other words what was the feeling you were hoping to get from that what were the sensations what were you wanting to be and do what were you wanting me get from now when I think back on I think about what I really want to be as an archaeologist is I wanted to discover things and that was the biggest thing I want to discover things that had not been asked ever for something new something unique something different and I wanted to share that with people I don’t have to be a person who we’re not discovered and then shared that discovery with others they know it’s interesting I’m doing that today I’m just not sticking my head in the sand and doing it I’m doing it by sticking my head in other people’s brains and find out what makes me tick and what find out what makes me tick and then sharing some of that but that that feeling that same feeling but I wanted then I found a way to do it today in a new way the side challenges think about what was it you really wanted from that didn’t think of something else you wanted to be when you’re growing up I wanted to also be a police artist later on remember that you know those guys that draw those pictures you know and show people and catch the bad guys and why did I want to do that what I want to get from them oh gosh thought about it while uh I wanted to create I want to be creative and and I wanted to help people I wanted to help people do the right things I want to tell me father payment wanted to catch bad guys but most importantly I wanted to create and help people and guess what I found a way to do that today different than I originally thought but the same purpose is there now maybe it’s not the same purpose for you for all things you want to do maybe they have a common thread or maybe they’re different threads that are important what else did you want to be when you’re growing up and why did you want it what feelings did you hope it would give you what do you hope would come from it think for a second I’ll give you another one of mine while you’re thinking try and trigger you must I want to do well I wanted to definitely be a rockstar I wanted to be able to entertain people to change their emotional states to use my voice and my face and my body to give people more passion in their lives and I found another way to do that plus I get to work with some of these people the other day I got a chance to go to the Aerosmith concert I kind of grew up listening to those guys and I found out the Steven Tyler and some of these guys are fans of mine as well went backstage and I met Tim Collins who’s their manager and he told me a phenomenal story so that years ago in the early 80s an Aerosmith was in really bad shape the guys were hooked on heroin and they were losing everything financially and the group had broken up but he decided he’s gonna turn it around and he read two books Think and Grow Rich and a little book called unlimited power they said that what he learned there gave him the inspiration and some of the tools and strategies that get himself off heroin and coke and they needed a group intervention and help the other guys do the same and these guys are now on a mission they’re totally clean they’re Evian water drinking guys that are out there here in the rock’n’roll on their message and are doing healthfully like a chance to meet Steven Tyler is just an incredible guy when these guys have been touring for 23 years giving their all passionately every day feel like they’re brothers and it was really interesting because he said you know I watched on TV all the time I feel like we’ll walk on the same path you know and he said I listened to your tapes he said we’ll really have the same mission so you know do you think you’d get together us and do a gig for us so what do you mean he’s like you know the guys on the weekend you maybe like do your gig for us so we can all participate on the weekend as their a laugh and I pinch myself I sound cool now I get to do a gig for Aerosmith I’m not out there rock and rolling but sort of I am I’m working with the rock and rollers those fun so my point is maybe you’re not doing what you originally envisioned but maybe you’ll find a way to do it even better if you have some faith maybe if you keep developing yourself and you know at least the emotion you want the contribution you want to create you’ll find a better way most importantly before you can find a way you got to know the essence of what it is you really want what is that purpose that’s what I’m really asking you about now with your eyes closed again think about a situation in your life when you felt like you’re really on a roll you know the kind of situation I’m talking about where you just felt incredibly good at great feelings but things were just flowing things were effortless when you thought yourself wow I love this this is what life’s about I love this is it this is this is what life is really about can you remember time like that in your life at any age yo we’re all will you really felt like you’re in that flow huh this is it this is what life’s about think of a situation like that right now remember that time that back into your mind back in your body like you were then and look through your own eyes as you were then when you felt like this is what life’s about and see what you saw here it’s you heard what were you doing what were you feeling what were the state you’re in what were you experiencing yeah think about it and tell me what is it and it was there anything in common with this with some of the other things you wanted to have in your life the feelings you want to have maybe you wanted to grow or create or contributer discover or expand or challenge what is it love what were the feelings what were you doing then when you get a sense of what that was then think about this think of another situation you lie think of a second one when you felt like you’re in a role at some other point in your life when things were flowing when you felt this is it this is what life’s about I love this may come another time like that to step into that situation as well step into it right now and she step in that situation look around see what you saw and hear what you heard that’s you what you were feeling man what was happening in that moment not just what you were doing notice what you’re doing were you creating your writing or speaking and communicating or or manufacturing something or studying or learning what were you doing but also how are you feeling what would the state you’re in and what were you doing for others that they were involved what other people involved what was the process well how are you being and what were you doing feel in your body is there anything that is similar between this and last experience or anything about this that’s similar between this and the feelings that you wanted for most things you wanted to be when you’re gonna grow up that’s it notice it and capture not only the idea of this but the feeling as well now one more time think of something else another time at any age when you felt like you’re on a major role things are really fun we felt incredible and you felt like I love this this is what life’s really about this is it think of another situation like that right now and as you step into that situation right now notice what were you doing what were you creating what we have sharing what were you feeling feeling these feelings think about the purpose of your life if you were gonna say it in a simple phrase not even paragraphs in paragraphs simple phrase or a sentence or two and you’re gonna write down the purpose in my life is to what if you’re gonna do it you’re gonna have a couple simple criteria one has got to be stated positive not the personal life has to stop all the horrible things in the world no no something positive something stated in the positive and info it’s gonna be something brief and it was gonna be something emotionally charged in terms of its words for you it has to have how you’re gonna be as a person and what are you gonna do and it’s got to include not just other people like I’m gonna change other people’s lives or I’m gonna make the world better for other people it’s gotta you got to be in your own mission statement you got to be your own purpose statement you got to be in there too and other people don’t have a purpose of my life is for me to be happy cuz we’re all connected so if it’s you and others being and doing brief ensure what is the purpose of your life what is it right now what comes out of your head not the right answer not the perfect answer just the answer the purpose your life is to be and do what for yourself another just say it out loud just say it don’t even write down first and you got a pen and paper then write in them purpose my life just do what say it again try something keep changing it and if you write it down each time it’ll give you better saw it I prefer if you run a damn but just come up with something the purpose of my life for me Tony Robbins is to serve God and my fellow man by being a powerful loving passionate outrageous courageous strong playful crazy example of the unlimited possibilities that God gives when you commit your life to service when you really focus on contribution that’s what my life’s about I know what I feel I can change the word slightly here there but I know the essence of my life and you’ve got to know what that is for you that is what will help you make the decisions that’ll give you the motivation and get up early and stay up late that’ll make you connect with people the way you’ve never connected before but you gotta know what it is and it’s got to be more than just you you and others gonna deep breathe it’s gotta be emotions got to be intense so go do it right now turn out the tape and just start writing my crazy what is the purpose of your life and when you write something write another thing cross it out write another one to keep writing it better and better – you got something you like them to turn the tape back on go for it do it now the purpose of your life is to what you did turn this thing off didn’t you you’re not just sitting there thinking come on if you write it out it’ll be better with more precision turn off if you’re on your way back then just ignore the last sentence welcome back daddy you got something you really like I hope so I know it’s not the end-all be-all it better not be perfect or I’m gonna come through this tape and grab you your job is not to be perfect it’s to be excellent perfection can never really be achieved in any way if you’re truly a perfectionist then it’s never perfect but it’s getting better all the time so what is the purpose of your life and how does it feel when you think about this is the purpose of my life now let me give you one other criteria did you write it so you can only achieve it once you die if so change it because we don’t want you have to die to achieve your purpose which is what some people have it should be something you can experience every day you know whatever you do whether you’re just sitting at the lunch counter walking through a grocery store you’re going and conducting your business I don’t care what it is it should be something you can feel and you got to find what that is for you and had a language that at least for now see and know the goal of the game with that your life takes on a whole nother dimension so I should go out over the next month try something take this purpose statement and keep it in front of you put it in the system you use for managing your time and keeping your to-do list put it up on the wall nearby and as you look at it each day don’t just write and forget about it think about each day how can I live my purpose more when you go to make a decision about doing something and you’re not sure why you’re doing you can always go back to your purpose you can do it going into a meeting and all I want I’m going to me I’m gonna be powerful loving passionate rages play for them and inspire people to see what’s possible if we really serve all the people around us that’s not how to figure out you have a guiding principle no matter what happens principles don’t change the essence of who you are will not change the environment they change the vehicles may change but what’s your side you won’t let me say one final thing to you before it sends you often have you take some more time to work on your mission statement one is that if you want to send me your mission statement the Robbins research I’d love to receive it I’d love to see how you’ve language the purpose of your life so if you feel like doing that please do and address it to me personally the other thing is this I want you to realize that very often not getting your dream gives you your destiny what I mean by that is this so often as I said when we start this take people set up a goal or a game they don’t get it and then they feel so disappointed so frustrated sometimes resentful towards others or to their creator or towards themselves are not accomplishing or achieving it but the truth of the matter is whatever something happens you must find an empowering meaning you must ask yourself how can I use this if this was to serve a higher purpose in my life how would I use it to serve a higher purpose if this was gonna make me in somebody more how would I use it to make me more and very often in life if you really look back on your life the worst situations in your life have been the best if you were willing to trust that it happened for a reason that somehow even though this is painful you’d never want it to happen again somehow this is gonna serve you maybe you were hurt by someone or some situation but because of that your kids will never be hurt the same way you did when you were a child or maybe you went through some tough time but because of that you do help somebody else so they won’t have to go through the same pain you did maybe the pain made you make a new decision to send you a brand new direction that brought you to this destiny I really truly believe in my heart of hearts that have were willing to trust and have faith and look for answers and actively pursue them that every human experience supports us even those that are painful and I believe we can probably do this without the pain but the pain does strike or something happens outside your control which it will instead of living in fear that that’ll happen someday you want to live for the sense of certainty that says no matter what happens I will benefit from it because I will look for benefits and therefore I will find them that simple now I’ll give you a good metaphor you know there’s a great movie I’m sure you recall was called a field of dreams in it they said if you build it they will come in the movie Kevin Costner seeks out an old man on the name of Doc Graham he’s played by Burt Lancaster and when he first meets this man he’s going to see him to tell him about a field of dreams that Kevin has developed a place where these old men could come back and play again to be young again to live their dream Ellie meets doctor and he starts to talk to him he says I understand that you only were able to play one inning in your life because I Graham said well yeah my whole life’s dream was always to play baseball to be a professional he said every single day I gave my all I lived this passion he said you know I I took ground balls and batting practice and I pushed myself and he said finally I made it I made it to the big leagues and the whole season went by without my being able to play and finally at the end of the season in the eighth inning the coach looked over at me and said kid I want you in right field he said I was so happy I couldn’t believe it I ran out on the field and he said I stood out there and right-field waiting for somebody hit it to me waiting for my chance and nothing happened then when we came back in he said my turn to bat never came and the next year they without giving me another chance or even giving me a chance they sent me back to the minor leagues and he said I couldn’t I just couldn’t take it I couldn’t take going through that again so I quit and Kevin Costner said oh my god that’s unbelievable what incredible pain what devastation that must have destroyed you I mean for any man to be back close to his dream and have you dreamed passed you by as if it doesn’t even know it’s you he said that that must have been the most destructive painful Banga that that’s a total disaster
