Tony Robbins. How To Control Our Thoughts And Emotions.
hey guys it’s your boy james here back again with another video from kaizen academy reminding you continuous improvement is the key and in today’s video we’re going to be covering how to control your thoughts and emotions and please like comment and subscribe and without any further ado let’s get right into the video so i’ve heard a little bit but just tell me for real fast what if there’s one concern you have what is it for you anxiety anxiety and what tends to trigger that i just i feel like i’m at the point in my life where i need to figure out what i’m doing with my life like right now okay and so you that that pressure inside is really affecting you how about for yourself fair failure loss okay and what what causes that what triggers that most for you um i’ve had losses in life i’ve had losses you know from my family and you know i’ve always been really success oriented so like i always want to exceed i’m kind of an overachiever in a sense and if you don’t it’s not consistent with your identity so it creates exactly i get it how about for you i’m a business owner and just like getting people on board with my idea i don’t have that niche market and so doing my business plan has been so difficult because i’m creating something that’s new and it’s like it’s failure almost too like in a sense where how do i succeed and get people on board and invest and you know make this world a better place through my idea and real quick i get overwhelmed and right now i’m overwhelmed because i just found out my mom has stage three ovarian cancer and yesterday i was in toronto with her and literally drove home so i could be here with you so i could get your perspective on it because i’m trying to say super positive but i also have to manage my life and i live here so sorting that out let me in a couple of minutes let me just introduce all of you to just a simple understanding of concept all of you have targets things that you’re after if you’re going to get a new result if you’re going to grow your business if you’re going to be able to support your mom if you’re going to get rid of the anxiety if you’re going to be able to overachieve and not have all that fear inside of you you obviously need to get a new result you’re going to have to get new action we all know that you don’t get new results with old actions doing the same thing what human beings can do this is a human being believe it or not i majored in art [Laughter] what human beings can do is amazing what they will do is usually disappointing it’s not because we’re not capable of it it’s because we don’t have new actions because we get in certain emotional states that dominate us like anxiety like fear of failure right like the fear of the loss of your mother as an example so if you’re in a state of fear you’re going to behave very differently and get very different results that’s what that means right there and then if you were in a place of being courageous or bold or warm or connected or playful any of those so the most important key to changing your life in any situation is to change results you got to change behavior but to change behavior you got to change the emotional state you’re in how do you do that when you don’t feel like it right or it feels overwhelming there are two ways and i’ve done this with the greatest athletes in the world that does with four different presidents the united states i’ve done it with billionaire clients all you have to do to change your state is not try to think your way there like i’m happy i’m happy i’m happy and do a bunch of affirmations your brain’s gonna go bs you are not happy right what you need to do is make a radical change in the way you use what we call your physiology it’s a big word it just means the way you use your physical body the way i’m speaking right now because i got five minutes also is sped up just a little bit but if i said to you there’s a depressed person behind curtain number one over there and i’ll donate a hundred thousand dollars to your best charity your favorite charity if you could describe what they’re like physically tell me what’s their posture like if they’re depressed you tell me slumped over slump where’s their head where’s their head down down are they breathing full or shallow shallow and are they talking really fast or more slow slow louder quiet probably quiet you’re all saying the same thing how’s that possible cause you’ve all practiced this crap before but here’s what you can find if you take that same person and you change the tempo which they move you bring their shoulders back and change their breathing pattern if they make a faster gesture if they speak more rapidly it fires off a different biochemistry in you and in that state you will take radically different actions the fact i’ve taught this for 40 something years 40 years and about three years ago harvard finally did a study where they proved what they did worked and they called it these power positions and what they showed was if you stand everyone can try this stand up just for a moment if you want everybody at home can try it as well let’s do something really silly put both your hands on your hips like wonder woman or superman or that stuff right if you stand like this and you breathe deep for just two minutes what the science found was that you will absolutely increase your testosterone by 20 percent man or woman you’ll drop your cortisol which is you know as the stress hormone by 22 and you’re 33 more likely to take action if you wouldn’t have before because fear would have stopped you now i don’t have people just stand like this i have people move use their voice make radical changes in their bodies you could have seen just to get a feel i know we’re short on time but you can try it later and you’ll feel it after two minutes or you know somebody who’s you know puts their arms back like this their feet up that’ll produce the same state it produces more certainty in you and that certainty gets you to take different actions so if you are in a situation you think of the worst scenario your mom dying no my business goes under i never achieve at the level i need to all things i have anxiety about the minute you focus on them you go into those states of fear and then you behave fearful and you get lousy results and we get lousy results what does it do to your brain you go see i told you i couldn’t do this it becomes this negative loop so how do we break out of it we change our focus by asking better questions everybody in this room can try this just right now ask this answer this question in your mind what is it in your life that you’re proud of if there’s something you could feel really proud of right now by focusing on it your children yourself something accomplished you did how many think of something you could feel proud of and i don’t mean fake pride eagle pride like where you’re making things up i mean well you really did something you’re proud of good right now close your eyes and focus on how it feels when you’re really proud focus on that moment you’re proud of how do you breathe when you feel really proud and if you’re a little kid what happens to your face when you’re really proud you don’t hide it right there’s that big smile on your face radiant if you can feel these feelings right now everyone here just say aye if you got it all right awesome try one more real fast think of something that you could be really grateful for or excited pick either one something you could be grateful for a person a moment or something if you wanted to that you could be excited about and she was excited for moat how many could think of something in your life that if you focused on it you could feel excited all right close your eyes and just for a moment all we’re doing is changing your focus focus on what could excite you feel like it’s really happening your mom’s healing you breakthrough in the business you’re achieving the what you want anxiety is rid from my life i’m on charge i’m on top of it how do you breathe when you feel really excited and then try this when you’re a little kid you probably made noises the hell of it until people told you not to and make a noise of excitement a sign of excitement go ahead in your bodies do it again do it again one more open your eyes how many feel that feeling in your body right now yeah so if we change the state you’re in just by changing our focus or the waves our bodies strongly now if you say i’m going to change my body like i have people do firewalks sometimes or skydiving and you go they’re scared they go mr robin said that i should change my physiology okay oh shoot it didn’t work it’s got to be a radical change right here’s my question for all of you if you focus on what you want life has probabilities there’s no guarantees but you increase them when you change your state and that’s really what this is all about learning to change your body and learning to change your focus hey guys i don’t mean to disturb you while you’re in the middle of watching this video but if this video is giving you any value please leave a like comment and subscribe so that this message can reach to as many people as possible because my goal is to impact and help as many people as i can but without your helping hand that wouldn’t be possible and now without any further ado let’s get back to the video where i want to talk to you about how to really master your mind and your emotions because if you can master this then you’ll have mastered your life and if you fail to master it if you feel that take charge and control of your beliefs your mentality your emotional experience of life then you’re always going to be in pain you’re always going to be reacting to the events of your life and what’s going on in the economy and this person and that person and what this person said and you’re going to live a life of suffering and i see unfortunately so many people live their life that way because they haven’t really taken charge and really learned how to master their mind and their emotions and i’m going to share with you guys today the concept of being reactive the reactive mindset versus the proactive mindset now a lot of people they’re living a very reactive life okay they’re reacting to everything that’s going on in the outside world and the truth is you don’t have control over the outside world you don’t have control over the weather okay you don’t have control over what the president is going to do or what this company is going to do or your city or your country or maybe in a relationship you don’t have control of that other person you don’t have control of your family and your friends you don’t have control of your customers you don’t have control over any of that but what you do have control over 100 percent is your mind your emotions how you choose to react and interpret the events of your life because it’s not the events there’s a lot of people that live in the same circumstance that you might be in right now same financial circumstance the same body health energy physical shape the same you know whether you’re single married divorced whatever that is there’s other people out there in those same circumstances as you and yet they have a totally different emotional experience than what you might have one person might be going through that and might be suffering emotionally and unhappy and blaming and negative and depressed about that another person could interpret that being grateful and cheerful and joyful and be excited about their life and wanting to make new changes same circumstances same event same environment yet different emotional response you know how is it that two people can go to afghanistan and both of them lose their legs come back in a wheelchair and then one person that had that same experience as the other feel sorry for themselves and depressed and and saying god why me and they want to kill themselves whereas the other person the same circumstance comes back in the wheelchair and says oh my god thank you god i’m so grateful to be alive you got a second chance now i’m going to live my life to the fullest now i’m going to be grateful for every day because i know how fast it can be taken away from me how is it that those two people the two the same experience can interpret things in a different way it’s because of right here how you interpret the events of your life is what’s going to determine the quality of your life and a lot of people what happens is they react to all the littlest things and if you’re living your life that way you’re always going to be suffering in pain and you’re going to be a slave to the events of your life that are outside of your control so they’re they’re pretty much guaranteed never to be happy until you take control and understand that you are in charge you have control of how you interpret the events of your life you know to give you guys an example you know i’ve i’ve can give you so many examples but i remember uh years ago this is maybe like four years ago or so but i had this one client that does coaching great great woman and i was helping her to build her online business specifically with publishing and you know i was coaching her and helping her with that and she’s doing pretty well she’s making great progress and what happened was around that time i was working on creating k-money mastery my kindle publishing course because i wanted i didn’t want to always i just knew that i couldn’t have the time to coach people one-on-one to teach them that and so i wanted to create an online course that could scale myself and leverage and i could reach more people and and i wouldn’t have to always walk through you know people through the steps on skype and so i was creating this course and i made it available and this person this this customer that i had uh chose to react from that event and that occurrence and she chose to react in a very negative way and this person freaked out and and you know a lot of her fears came up and she said oh my god other people going to know this opportunity which means that for her how she interpreted it that means that uh there’s not gonna be as much opportunity for me or there’s gonna be more competition or uh or stefan doesn’t really care about me and she created all these disempowering meanings from that event and funny enough i had another client that i was also working with that interpreted that totally differently he says wow great job steph and i’m so excited for this because now i can you know go deeper into different content material that you have and i don’t have to pay you know a higher right to learn from you i can instead learn from this course and they just saw it as a totally different uh how they interpret it was so different than the other person and unfortunately that other person that i was working with great person but this is a pattern that she would run is at any time something would trigger her fears her insecurity then she would react in a negative way and another example of this is uh my girlfriend her online business she sells physical products on amazon and also does affiliate marketing but she had this one client that uh bought her product physical product and got shipped to her and it you know something that the person expected wasn’t included in that and so uh you know my girlfriend explained no that’s not included you know here’s where it is you know it’s not included but this customer freaked out okay this person reacted and just threw a huge fit over this even though that they’re actually you know they’re actually wrong about the matter as the truth of it but they freaked out and they said oh i’m gonna go i’m gonna sue you i’m gonna i’m gonna get my lawyer involved and all this over a product that’s like 40 right that’s how crazy some people are but you know people whenever i see that i feel sympathy over people like that because i know that they’re suffering i know that they’re in some pain in some way in their life you know that if you’ve got a wound if you’ve got a big wound here on your arm and you’re you’re already in pain and it doesn’t really take much to get a reaction out of you i could just have a feather come and touch you and tickle you and you’re going to react and that’s how most people are you know even on my snapchat the other day i was watching the inauguration of donald trump and you know social media snapchat you share your life you share what you’re doing that day you share what you know you’re going to the gym you’re doing this what you’re watching whatever and so i just shared a snap of i’m watching this inauguration which millions of people around the world were and this person reacted a person that that follows me and this person freaked out and uh because i guess that and i’m not even i’m not an american i live in canada i don’t really even follow politics i’m not a supporter of donald trump or anything like that i’m just pretty much indifferent because i also believe that regardless of who’s the president or whatever they don’t have control over my life they have they might have some influence over but i take charge i control my experience of life and i see a lot of people they react to donald trump or this person and all it’s just such a reactive mess and there’s a lot of emotional maturity that i feel is really lacking in the world and for a lot of these people’s experiences but anyways this person freaked out got upset because they they came to a conclusion a meaning of how they interpreted that as i was celebrating donald trump or i was uh a fan of donald trump or he came to certain assumptions and that’s the key you could never assume because whenever you are creating a meaning then you’re assuming something and your assumptions are not true they’re your interpretation of that because other people can interpret the same thing in a different way you might in your relationship say something but mean well but maybe your partner might interpret that as you trying to offend them or make fun of them or something like that you know if you’ve ever had an experience like that you can interpret the event that if someone’s late for a date or a meeting that you can interpret they don’t care or you can interpret that as oh my god maybe something happened to them or maybe they’re going through a lot right now in their life so my point is i can go through so many examples of people being in this reactive mindset this reactive mentality and to really master your mind and motions you have to develop emotional maturity you have to learn how to be what i call proactive okay proactive is the opposite of reactive proactive number one first and foremost i believe that you should have a practice in the morning throughout the day a morning ritual that puts you in a strong powerful state that puts you at your absolute best emotionally physically and spiritually because when you are how you react to events throughout your day it’s not going to make much of a difference for you and i notice a huge difference when i don’t do my ritual versus when i do do my ritual because when i do do my ritual i have a different energy to myself when i’m feeling great each day because i took that time every morning to do an empowering morning ritual what happens is man there can be bombs going on around me this could happen in my business this stressful thing might happen or occur but it just bounces right off of me because i’m centered and strong see you got to be like a rock okay you got to be rock solid you got to be centered you got to be grounded you know if you’re always off balance you can easily fall over but if you’re solid then things just bounce right off of you you know i kind of imagine like if you’re in the ocean you’re a rock that’s steady and sturdy whereas the ocean which can be life sometimes there might be a storm there might be waves crashing on you but because you’re so strong mentally emotionally and physically then it doesn’t really affect you that much you just move on and that’s what a ritual does that’s why i preach the importance of a morning ritual that’s why i created a course called morning ritual mastery which by the way if you don’t yet have you need to get at morning morningritualmastery.
com that’s my little plug but it’s that important to master that that’s why i created this course inexpensively to help people go deep with it to really learn this because that will get you out of that reactive state okay the other tip that i have is you have to learn how to interpret things in a positive way a more empowering way not to jump to the negative conclusion a lot of people they react so fast you know something happens and they just immediately react what happens if you know just for a moment you took a step back and you just looked at that from a different perspective you know if someone said something and some of you love and a relationship said something or something happened maybe you could take a step back and think you know what before i react to this and say and respond in this way you know can i maybe think about what they’re going through or maybe isn’t you know is is it really true that they meant that that that they said uh that that what they mean is what i believe is that really true you can start to question that and look at it through a different lens a different filter maybe get outside yourself for a moment put yourself in the other person’s shoes you know oftentimes you know people uh might be stressed and and going through a lot you know i remember the story about uh stephen covey wrote the book the seven habits of highly effective people at one point he was on i think a train or a bus or something like that and there’s a woman there and she’s with a bunch of kids and these kids were causing all this ruckus and noise and and uh being destructive on this bus and he reacted and he got upset and what happened was he confronted the woman and said hey can you do something about your kids he got upset and reacted in a harsh way and then the other woman or it might have been a man but they responded and said oh my god i’m so sorry you know they just lost their their mom or their parents and i just think they don’t know how to really deal with it and stephen covey looked at that as like oh my god i can’t believe i reacted in that way when i didn’t have all the information you know i just came to an assumption instead of getting outside of myself and maybe look you know understanding maybe they’re going through a hard time maybe this person is going through pain in their life and you can have sympathy for them and react and respond in that way with love and compassion instead of anger and and coming up with a negative conclusion okay so you have to take a step back and assess the situation before you respond in a lot of cases if you catch yourself coming you know reacting in this negative way take a step back and really look at it through a different lens you know sometimes something might happen might bother me i might go to the gym i might go for a walk i might take a break before i respond to that so i can change my state and maybe think about it a little bit of a different way instead of just being just so reactionary where that emotion that might come up temporarily might not be what my how i really feel might just be a response out of fear and negativity and what i’m going through at that point in my day you know sometimes i’m going through a hard time you know and i you can take that out on other people right so taking a step back guys don’t don’t be so soon to come up with these interpretations and these negative meanings of things and and because really what you’re doing in that case is again you’re just being reactionary to the the moment the event and you’re gonna always live your life in that pattern being a slave to that you’re never going to fully be able to be free another thing that i do is when something happens i always think okay is this really true is this really true and oftentimes the answer is no you know it’s not really true i can think of many examples where i can uh change my perception of that and i might ask myself is it true is it possible that i misinterpreted this is it possible that they didn’t really mean that is it possible that maybe they’re going through a hard time is it possible that i don’t have all the information about this situation and maybe i got to investigate and find out more or i might ask myself what’s great about this what can i learn from this how can i benefit from this you know how can this enhance my life you know whenever i get a parking ticket or something like that i have two options i could react in a negative way and get upset and hurt or i decide hey you know what this is a good lesson what i learned here is that i should have paid more attention to the sign and i should have not parked here where i should have come back and put some more money in the meter or i should have done this or this instead i look at that as a learning experience which allows me to feel good about the situation rather than be upset about it okay so that’s how you master your mindset is you master the meaning how you interpret these events the best way to do that is ask questions take a step back and ask questions like what’s great about this what can i learn how can this really benefit me how can i interpret this in a more positive way how can i find out more about the situation so i can have a more intelligent response to this rather than just due to an emotional response to it and if you do that guys that transforms everything for you transforms your relationships with other people right it transforms uh you know how you feel most importantly the emotional experience that you have in your life your happiness and joy and passion etc etc you’re gonna be a lot happier and you know in business and everything else that you’re going through so the happiest people that i know of that i’ve met that have studied that i’ve been around they’ve all mastered this they all look at things in an empowering way a positive way they don’t react so quick and and they’ve learned just to to be in control of their emotions and not let other people not giving away their power to others okay so hopefully this makes sense for you okay hopefully you really absorbed what i’m sharing with you here today because it is a very important concept a very important principle that can really free yourself it can allow you to again experience more happiness and that’s what i want for you guys that’s what every one of you that are watching this even people that might watch this that might disagree or people that don’t like me or hate me i don’t interpret that in a negative way for myself in any way i don’t take that personally because these people don’t really know me you know and maybe there’s reacting to something i might have said or done but it’s not really who they are and you know i love everyone i care about everyone and that’s why i do what i do is that i want to influence in a positive way and be able to make an impact by sharing ideas and concepts that have enhanced my life because you know i was once i was once the most reactive person out there i remember years ago just total pain and i relate and love people like that because i was once one of them okay so hopefully this can empower you guys in some way and help you take charge take charge of your mindset guys you have control of that unfortunately it’s now the end of the video but i would like to thank you guys for watching till the end and i would like to know so please leave down in the comments below did this help and are you going to implement these practices into your life and i would like to leave you with this you are the most influential person you will talk to all day so be careful of what you’re telling yourself believe you can achieve your dream and you already in front of most people in the world it is not who you are that is holding you back it is who you think you are not that is holding you back and please like comment and subscribe
