Tony Robbins – Get Your Life Together
now the question is why do some people stand their ground and make something change versus other people just kind of accept things why do some people make bold decisions and other people make decisions that are based on trying to hang on to what they’ve got well that’s a more complex question to answer than we might have in a few minutes in this one session but it is one that i’ve spent my life studying because when you can change your decisions you can change your life when you can change the force that controls your decisions you can change anything in your life at some level we have certain beliefs and values but if i was going to make it simple i’d say there’s two things that determine your choices the first thing is the state of mind and emotion you’re in at that moment think about it have you ever snapped at somebody and had nothing to do with them it was just the state you’re in right you’re frustrated you’re pissed off about something and in that state of mind whatever they said got interpreted through that state and you made up a meaning like they’re an irritant or they were interrupting you they weren’t you probably felt bad afterwards when we get in the wrong state we make the wrong decisions when you get in a strong empowering state you’ll make a better decision learning how to direct your state is a big part of what my work is with people and it’s a big part of what i do on my seminars but the other thing that affects your decisions would be what i would call your story or your blueprint we all have kind of a story about how our life is supposed to be it comes from a set of life experiences interpretations some people think life is all about getting theirs some people think life is about growing and contributing some people think life is about making judgments some people think life is about saving other people’s lives some people think life is about being successful some people think god is the basis of everything and the way to know god is to go through life in a very specific way with a set of rules and they follow it and that’s what they believe whatever your story is whatever your blueprint your blueprint is just another way of saying whatever you believe is how your life is supposed to be at some level we either follow that blueprint or we fight it if we follow it or we fight it we’re going to find that we’re going to bump into things in life where life isn’t always the same as we expected to be or think it should be and that’s where we start to experience stress so in this session of breakthrough when you watch this story and you saw melissa you saw the conflict between what you desired most and what you feared most i really believe life is the dance between what you desire most and fear most that’s where you find where we live our life the dance between what you want most and what you fear most that’s that’s where all that energy is in life so what does she want she wants to be famous she wants to be able to sing and have everyone hear a voice and be able to touch everyone she wants to contribute she wants to share a gift and she definitely wants to be famous and successful she needs to be closer to her children and one of the big challenges in life is oftentimes what we want and what we need are two different things she has five boys they’re all extremely young as i’m sure you saw and she has a husband and while they’re all supportive for going on this journey somewhere along the line she lost that connection to what was most important now she a bad person to make bad decisions no good people make bad decisions when they get in lousy states when our ego gets involved or when we start believing our story and here was the story she had being a mom is important but the bigger gift god gave me is my singing voice and once we get seduced into a particular story and we start to believe it it takes a whole of our life and it controls all of our choices and then pretty soon bad choice on top of a bad choice sometimes a bad choice starts to affect our life can you relate how many times you’ve made some choices that you wish like hell you would have made a different decision back then and or that no one ever knows the stupid decisions you’ve made i know i can relate to that so what i want to talk to you about today for this brief little session is how to break through a crisis crises happen whatever type of crises you go through in your life and i know you’ve had many when we make some choices unconsciously and we get consequences and we make them unconsciously because we’re trying to get what we want we don’t really know what we value most we don’t know what we need and we find ourselves waking up one day and going why is my life this way it’s kind of like life is always calling to us to constantly grow and improve you know if you’re going to look at what’s going to make life work it’s really simple what makes people happy is progress we’re happy when we’re progressing if you’re overweight but you leave today and you say you know what this breakthrough thing what i got out of today for me more than anything else is i’ve been stuck waiting for some magical diet some magical exercise time some magical time in the future when we have more time there is more to no more time i don’t need to wait for that i’m just going to make a decision today to get started i don’t need to go out there and go interview 20 trainers and get online i don’t need somebody to give me a perfect plan i need to pick up my shoes and start walking i need to just get somebody behind me who just goes run i don’t need a way for perfection i’m gonna do something right now i choose to get fit i choose to walk i choose to run i choose to go join a club i’m doing it now a breakthrough happens the moment you make a new choice and you don’t have to wait you can just get yourself in a new state maybe this tape will get you doing or just have to have a new thought that says you know what i made choices in the past i’m overweight because i chose to eat this and this i’m not going to eat it anymore i’m changing now you can change your whole life real fast with just a few choices but if you don’t make the right choices eventually you’re going to face a crisis crisis is when you made so many poor choices that sooner or later life shows up and instead of asking gently for you to change and improve to grow to make progress to be happy life when it’s a crisis now demands change it isn’t asking anymore we borrowed money as a society and we overspent and we talked about changing and we knew we had to change and now crisis happens and guess what nobody has a choice the game has changed and what crisis does is it melts us down it melts us down so that we can recast our life we can remold ourselves and usually on the other side our life is greater because as we go through that crisis we have to grow nobody everybody wants change nobody wants to do it everybody i should say wants progress but nobody wants to change everybody wants their life better but nobody wants to do the push-ups the running have the economic or emotional discipline to make it happen but if you’re watching this right now and you’re still with me some part of you wants more and i’m saying to you choose it and the way you’re going to choose it is really simple if you’re in that crisis what keeps you in the crisis is probably because you’re being reinforced most people they overeat or they smoke or they drink or they yell at people they keep doing it because they’re rewarded whatever gets rewarded gets reinforced whatever habit or behavior is reinforced becomes a habit and then pretty soon do it long enough it becomes part of your personality and pretty soon you think it’s who you are and you just keep living that way i mean it’s easy to see this in other people right it’s easy to see how messed up they are and how easy they could if they just make some new choices all you gotta do is turn on the television some news program some entertainment program and you’ll hear detailed descriptions about some person who is very powerful celebrity who is doing some stupid thing why do we see all this stuff on television why do we hear about every person you can imagine from lindsay lohan to britney spears to all the way back to the old days it was elvis or michael jackson or whoever it is that’s in the news today in this stage of life in your countries you’re watching this it’s because we want to see other people who make bad decisions so we can feel better about our own but the reason those people don’t change lindsay lohan she’s got another dui she’s putting herself at risk she’s putting other people or she could kill someone she goes to jail it’s supposed to be 90 days but here’s the consequence it goes to two weeks and before she even gets out of the jail she makes a deal for an interview and gets paid a million dollars when she gets out for the interview what do you think the chances of her changing when her bad behavior gets her a million dollars and i don’t know if she even makes that for that much time of acting at this stage what do you think the chances are when people around her say it’s not your fault it’s not fair they treat you unfairly as long as we have the decision that we’re not responsible it’s not our fault we can’t change anything we have no power so i don’t know by time you watch this if lindsay will change but if she did it’ll because the enablers are gone she’s taken responsibility and she’s found something she values more than attention and money for bad behavior now it’s easy to look at that with her but what about you and i where are you and i addicted to our problems where are you and i reinforced so many people when they have a big problem listen if things are going well you say oh it’s going so great your friends go well that’s great after a while they go well easy for you but if you got a problem people hey i understand and they connect with you where do we get addicted to our problems if you want to make a new choice if you want to make a new decision today if you want to have a breakthrough in some area of your life you got to give up the story that it’s not your fault and you got to give up the attention and the love and the connection and the commiserating that comes with it with other human beings here’s how you change five simple quick steps and then i’m gonna give you a little tool that if you want to you can go online and really make a change with if you’re going to change your life step one i don’t care if something has happened to you you know somebody spilled oil all over where you fish it’s horrific it’s disgusting how they’ve dealt with it but it’s happened you got to deal with it um something’s happened someone your family’s been injured you’ve lost your job i don’t care what the problem is if you’re in a crisis step number one see it as it is but don’t see it worse than it is now what do i mean by that i don’t mean be semester miss positive thinking by now if you spend any time with me you know i’m not about that i’m not here to tell you go to that garden enchant there’s no weeds there’s no weeds there’s no weeds doing affirmations not gonna change your life you gotta go see where the weeds are and pull them out my point is simple you’ve got to see what the problem is but you can’t make it so horrific that you just give up today this is the first generation in almost 100 years of americans who now believe the majority of americans now believe that the quality of life for themselves and their kids in the future is going to be worse than the past they have in other words nothing to look forward to 63 of the us as of today wow when you start thinking there is no future you go into what we call learned helplessness a place where you just kind of give up and if you get to a place of given up then you have no power of your life that’s when people get depressed that’s when people do crazy stupid things that’s when people want to turn to drugs or alcohol or sometimes suicide or just total frustration and anger and their life starts to do the opposite of breakthrough it becomes completely stuck and in pain or in ongoing suffering if you are gonna break out of that we gotta see it as it is we’re not here to be positive thinking people you gotta see what’s really going on but if you’re overweight you can’t say to yourself well i’m big boned that’s not why you’re overweight you’re overweight because you don’t work out you eat certain things you eat cheetos all day long watching tv i don’t know what did you do but i know it’s not just because you’re big boned you don’t want to make it so it’s outside your control or you can’t change it so see it as it is but don’t see it worse than it is so that you have no reason to try does that make sense
