The Motivational Speaker
– Woo! Yeah, alright! Okay, alright, guys! Let’s high-five! Alright, come on! Yeah, high-five, yeah! I can’t actually touch you, though, ’cause I don’t have my Working With Children’s Check yet! Good day, guys! My name is Stephen Murphett.
That’s right, I’m a professional trampolinist. Whaaa? And I’ve bounced in here today. LOL, JK, I drove! All right, do you guys want to see some trampolining? I can’t hear you! I said, do you guys want to see some trampolining? That’s better! (“Blue (Da Ba Dee)” by Eiffel 65) Woo! If you work hard and dedicate yourself, well, catch me outside, how about that? Haha, okay.
Alright, what time do you reckon Shelley Craft gets up to host Saturday Disney? Let me tell ya, it’s pretty effing early. Sorry to swear there, guys. I’m not here to tell you that you can come fourth in the 2006 Commonwealth Games, like I did.
That’s my job, lol. It’s not necessarily about why Bitcoin is a smart investment. It’s actually about the underlying technology. It’s something called blockchain. (“Old Town Road” by Lil Nas X feat. Billy Ray Cyrus) Woo! Jesus, there’s not a lot of you, are there? You think I can do that ’cause I’m cool? No sir! I can do that ’cause of core strength.
Can’t do the moonwalk as much anymore ’cause, ya know, ’cause he was, he was not a good guy. Not eating patty pies, potato cakes. I’m actually eating Subway salads and wraps for lunch everyday. And the best part is, ’cause I’m a manager at the Craigieburn store, I get 15% off all Subway salads, wraps and sandwiches.
Which is pretty lit. – Excuse me, sir. I’m a pedophile. Would you like to come with me? – No thank you, Mr. Pedophile. I’ve got trampolining class. No deal. (“Clocks” by Coldplay) Nah mate, tell your Dad to get fucked.
Sorry but, it doesn’t even utilize XRP tokens in its blockchain technology. And as the heroin courses through my veins, and I breathe my last breaths. I think to myself, jeez. I wish I’d focused on my ATARs.
When you’re a professional trampolinist, everyday is leg day, haha! Don’t let them fucking get to you. Don’t you let them fucking get to you. (“Party Rock Anthem” by LMFAO) Woo! You are not your ATAR.
Meatball sub, that’s not the easiest thing to make. I’ll tell you why. It’s not flat like the sandwich meats. You’ve got round meatballs. How do you get a round meatball into a sandwich? Lateral thinking.
It is important to have pinpoint focus. To stay dedicated to what you’re meant to be doing. You shouldn’t be sitting on your laptop, typing away, while someone’s trying to do a presentation! (“Black or White” by Michael Jackson) (“Blue (Da Ba Dee)” by Eiffel 65) Hee-yah! Let me tell you, he didn’t try to get into that foyer again.
You’ve got round meatballs. How do you get a round meatball? You’ve got shorts on, you’re ready to jump! (laughing) Aaah! I have to go.