THE GREATEST ADVICE EVER TOLD | Tony Robbins, Tom Bilyeu, Steve Harvey
what determines your resources we’ve said decision shaped destiny which is my focus here if decisions shape destiny what determines it is three decisions what are you going to focus on right now you have to decide what you’re going to focus on in this second consciously or unconsciously the minute you decide to focus on something got to give it a meaning and whatever that meaning is produces emotion is this the end or the beginning an emotion then creates what we’re going to do or the action so think about your own life the decisions that have shaped your destiny and that sounds really heavy but in the last five or ten years fifteen years haven’t been some decisions you’ve made that if you made a different decision your life would be completely different the history of our world is these decisions when a woman stands up and says no i won’t go to the back of the bus she didn’t just affect her life that decision shaped our culture or someone standing in front of a tank or being in a position like lance armstrong and someone says to you you’ve got testicular cancer that’s pretty tough for any male especially if you ride a bike you got in your brain you got in your lungs but what was his decision what to focus on different than most people what did it mean it wasn’t the end it was the beginning what am i gonna do he goes off and wins seven championships he never wants once before the cancer because he got emotional fitness psychological strength that’s the difference in human beings that i’ve seen of the three million have been around because that’s about my lab i’ve had three million people from 80 different countries that i’ve had a chance to interact with over the last 29 years and after a while patterns become obvious you see that south america and africa may be connected a certain way right other people say oh that sounds ridiculous it’s simple so what shaped lance what shapes you two invisible forces very quickly one state we all have had times if you had a time you did something and after you did it you thought to yourself i can’t believe i said that i can’t believe i did that it was so stupid who’s been there say hi have you ever done something after you do that was me right it wasn’t your ability it was your state i should be able to change that quickly but what i want to finish with quickly here is your model of the world is what shapes you long term your model the world is the filter that’s what’s shaping us that’s what makes people make decisions we want to influence somebody we got to know what already influences them and it’s made up of three parts i believe first what’s your target what are you after which i believe it’s not your desires you can get your desires and goals so it’s needs we have i believe there are six human needs second once you know what the target that’s driving you is and then you uncover it for the truth you don’t form it you uncover it then you find out what your map what’s the belief systems that are telling you how to get those needs some people think the way to get those needs is destroy the world some people have to build something create something love someone and then there’s the fuel you pick so very quickly six needs let me tell you what they are first one certainty now these are not goals or desires these are universal everyone needs certainty that they can avoid pain at least be comfortable now how do you get it control everybody develop a skill give up smoke a cigarette if you got totally certain ironically even though we all need that like you’re not certain about your health or your children or money you don’t think about much more you’re not sure the ceiling’s going to hold up you’re going to listen to any speaker but while we go for certainly differently if we get total certainty we get what what do you feel if you’re certain you know what’s going to happen when it’s going to happen how it’s going to happen what would you feel bored out of your mind so god in her infinite wisdom gave us a second human need which is uncertainty if a win to you is being the greatest dad and husband of all time then be the greatest and husband of all time and if your number two priority is building your business then it’s in second place and it’s going to get what it can get now that doesn’t mean that you can’t be really hardcore about second place but one don’t value yourself for results i will tell you right now all the wins in business that you’re ever gonna get all the money in the world it’s powerful it’s amazing and you will love taking care of your family but even that was a reorientation back to your true number one if i had to guess which is your family so be focused on that right this is really about my family if the business isn’t working out if it’s not going the way that you want look it’s going to be lame it’s going to suck but you’re going to have to alter your mind to remind yourself my number one priority is my family and what i value myself for on the business side is not accomplishment it is not success so decide what your priorities are and don’t flinch don’t be conflicted don’t try to have my business is as important as my family and really don’t value yourself for accomplishment it’s all about sincere pursuit okay you cannot guarantee the success you can guarantee the struggle so you need to extract value from knowing that you left it all out in the field and that’s it’s all you can do greatness is about doing the things that are tragically boring and that you have to repeat over and over and over to get better at them in a deliberate way you don’t just want to repeat them blindly but in a deliberate way buckling down and doing the things like for a musician playing your scales practicing your improvisation practicing your cold reading all of the things that are very easy to put off when you have a job and you’re busy and you’re making a living um it’s it’s kind of like typing what they find is most people sort of their their typing rate if i remember right it’s like 65 to 70 words per minute um is where most people tap out but i think the record is somewhere around 250 correct words per minute so if the average person is tapping out around 65 but the delta is all the way between 65 and 250 you begin to see like how far you can really push yourself but people get to a level that they deem acceptable and they just sort of stop there but because everybody is being forced to shut down right now if you’re a musician and you’re saying look i’m not worried about streaming and going live and all of that which i think there’s a whole question to be answered about doing that and about how you could generate even more revenue um by going online but you asked me to set that aside so i’m gonna set that aside but right now is that chance to embrace a level of boredom that most people are not willing to push through in order to get to greatness so in a business context i always tell people boredom kills more entrepreneurs than anything it kills more entrepreneurs than fear most people they just can’t slog through sucking at something and sitting in the discomfort that you get from doing the things that you’re not good at long enough to get good at even those things so that you can truly go out and create art because i don’t think you can create real art until you’ve mastered the basics to the point where as bruce lee said you don’t think kick you just kick and i love that quote there’s another bruce lee idea which is i don’t fear the man who knows 10 000 kicks i fear or i don’t fear the man that does 10 000 kicks one time i fear the man that does one kick ten thousand times and that is this moment and if you can take this down time and let go of how good it feels to perform i have to imagine a big part of the reason you got into this and that you did all of the work when you were younger to get good is because you love performing so much but right now that’s basically off the table so if in this moment you can buckle down be disciplined set your sights on something very specific that you want to get good at disciplined practice at that thing to get good at this on the other side of this you’re going to be far more extraordinary than you were when you went in because you no longer have the distractions of the actual performance you can just get down to practicing so flip that switch in your mind and think all about coming out the other side of this a beast an absolute monster better than you went in and if you can tell yourself that story i’m committed to this i’m willing to do these things that other people aren’t willing to do and put in the practice and understand as you’re going through that unimaginable boredom that on the other side of this is a skill set that has utility then this becomes an extraordinary time but if you keep telling yourself the story that so many others are telling which is this is you know a time of deprivation it’s um just lamenting that you’re not able to perform and all the things that made you love music in the first place then just because you’re repeating that it becomes a dark time focus on the other side and you will get through this amazingly google success see if you get it google exposure see if you get it you have to be exposed to certain things in order for you to know it and success is hard if i could get i try to get my millennials to understand it take a long time to make a lot of money daddy you making money you did i’m 61.
it take a long time to make a lot of money you you can’t just go make money because you got google let me show you something when you get on the airplane you ever notice when you walk on airplane and you walk past first class everybody in first class got gray hair you ever noticed that they all a little up in age they’re all 50 and up especially during the week the businessmen they earned the right you go in the back it’s young people back there you back there you got your iphone out you got your headsets on them growing ass man up there got their legs crossed they got a briefcase out they trying to figure it out they trying to make this paper they in front but you got to be exposed to get to first class you got to be successful to get to first class that’s why they close that curtain see they can’t have your ass in the back of that plane with that curtain open you ain’t going to believe what’s going on up there they bringing a hot washcloth you can wash up they giving out passing out menus everybody get hot nuts you get all you want to drink you ain’t got to pay for the headsets you get to watch the movies free you get a choice of what you want to eat they got to close that curtain if you was in the back and they left that curtain on you’re driving people crazy hey what am i nuts you don’t get no nuts hey how come i just got a half a can of coke that’s all we’ve given you how come these drinks is five dollars he didn’t order three drinks cause he paid for first class the seats is wider your knees can’t touch the seat in front of you it can’t the overhead space is plentiful for everybody that’s why they close the curtain so what you have to do you have to expose yourself to things early in life this is my suggestion do whatever you got to do to upgrade to first class if you spend a little bit more money it’s sometime when you buy the coach ticket when you get at the counter just ask them how much is an upgrade if they say 75 just pay it one time what happens is once you sit in that first class seat you have now been exposed the game changes now when you see that there’s actually room on each side of you in first class when you discover that you can slouch in your seat that your arm does not have to touch the other person’s arm that they’re gonna bring you a hot towel they’re gonna give you a menu they’re gonna let you drink all you want you ain’t got to buy the headsets once you fly first class it conditions your mind to look and think for first class opportunities once you fly first class let me explain something to you walking past first class gonna be hard one shooting set up there flew a couple hours in first class walking past them seats will be the hardest walk you make because you’ve been exposed don’t plan too much doesn’t work for me it didn’t work frankly don’t plant too much your career because what you’re going to be facing in life is probably more powerful and much bigger than you ever imagined so if you’re following your plan you may miss a lot of opportunity coming on the side but you don’t even look at them by saying oh i need to continue on my plan okay even though on the side you’re gonna have a huge opportunity coming you don’t look at them so don’t plan too much or be flexible on the planet uh you’re gonna have a lot of ordinary particularly in the period we’re getting in 2010 2020 i think going to be a lot of transformation coming and they’re gonna be a lot of opportunities to be flexible but but but some of these mountains that can be climbed by you and me there it takes a day to get to the top and then that you just camp up there and you come in on the next day and on many of these places where in switzerland where you can do that about halfway up the mountain is what they call the halfway house halfway house halfway up the mountain so the group of people starts off with a guy in the morning and about noon you’re kind of tired you’ve been walking now for four or five hours and here comes that you’re coming up to the halfway house it is just a it’s it’s a wonderful sight because as soon as you enter in the halfway house you can smell the food and they’re they’re getting ready for a good lunch and you sit down there’s a fire in the fireplace and there’s nice soft chairs and you can just rest your body and refresh your body you know you’ve got to be very careful as an entrepreneur to be brutally honest with yourself um and those are some of the things that you’ll hear from me as a mentor that you know know what you know know what you don’t know but you’ve got to know your business better than anybody i think the most important is knowing your strengths and weaknesses and knowing what you enjoy doing you know if you look at it as a job you’ve already lost it it’s not going to be your passion and you’re going to count the hours if if you look at it as as something you love to do um and then you know what your strengths are then you can leverage those strengths in in your business and in helping others and once you recognize your weaknesses then you can work with people that complement you i mean every one of my businesses i’ve had a partner who’s very anal martin woodall todd wagner i mean incredibly anal people perfectionist because i’m a slob you know i’m a big picture think about what’s around the corner how’s technology going to change things how can i change you know this industry and you know making sure that there’s somebody there to make to dot the eyes cross the t’s and keep me in the base lines and you know recognizing my weaknesses is just as important as recognizing my strengths my core competencies and and you know having a passion to to do what you do when it seems like suffering won’t stop what do you do when it feels like your pain doesn’t have a point what does it do when it feels like your weakness continue to worsen maybe you’ve taken a knockdown concerning your finances lately maybe it’s with your kids maybe with your marriage maybe with your health maybe some other arena of life you’re laying on the mat gasping and you don’t know what you’re going to do people ask you how you are and you say fine but you’re not fine and they’ll never know that we’re people we’re people and we struggle and we suffer and we bleed and we cry and if you think that true strength means never showing any weakness then i’m here to tell you you’re wrong you’re wrong because it’s the opposite you’re going to get depressed sometimes you’re going to have weeks where you don’t feel like eating or gravity is working overtime like it’s afraid of getting laid off and you can barely lift your fork to your mouth and you’re going to have a choice you have a choice to either give up or keep going give up or get up it’s like you have to save your own life
