Let Go of What is Hurting You! – Gary Vaynerchuk | Motivational Talk
for me it’s practical positivity right
so for me where this conversation goes
is like for a lot of people that can be
sitting here and being like well it’s
easy for you to say
like people go immediately to your
current right and you know I just don’t
see it that way I just I really
genuinely believe that it’s a complete
game of who you spend time with and
what’s pumping into your ears and so
that has led me down a path of really
trying to have conversations with people
around limiting time with negativity and
sometimes that’s hard because a lot of
times that might be your mother and
father or your best friend for the last
30 years but I’ve been fascinated by
people changing just by changing who
they spend time with and what they
listen to yeah one of the things we are
sharing today on the podcast as you
mentioned you know those people who
might be those more negative forces and
you had some really pragmatic advice on
how to handle how to have you handle
those situations you know yeah I think
people get crazy they hear something
like this like yeah I’ve never
talked to my mom again and I think you
know that’s not necessarily what I’m
saying
I think there’s there is a process but
but I do think we were talking about
friends and and I do think a lot of
times you know you sometimes wake up
especially in your kind of call at 17 to
34 year old world and you kind of look
around you’re like you know I’m
looking for something a little bit
different here and this group of friends
is about this and that’s fine and how do
you like make that transition I think
some people get hyped off a one-minute
Gary Vee video and like try to like
leave their friends behind I’m trying to
context that with I’m like you don’t
need to go that serious hey I think you
should have that conversation with your
friends about hey I’m like looking to
mix this up and like you know hanging
out all day and smoking weed and playing
for nights rad and all but like 24/7 you
know I want to mix it up and so I think
that
so I think that first you have that
conversation with your homies and say
look I’m looking to do this you know a
third of them are gonna be like cool me
too and they were just waiting for
somebody to say something and then
another third you might be able to
convince overtime through the process
and then another third might just been
great friends for a certain part of your
time and it’s okay to talk to them you
know once every month or once every week
instead of the 15 times a day and so I
think people need to be thoughtful about
that process but I do think it is you
know that that’s saying is so real like
you got to really look around who you’re
spending time with it is unbelievable to
me watching employees in my company
spend time in certain divisions and then
get transferred I mean if they get
transferred to my team it’s a complete
brain twist of work ethic and mindset
and things that nature but even
different teams with positive leaders
like you can just see it and I’m I think
you can talk all day long about like hey
be happier or see it better and then
people walk out of a theater like how
and I think the biggest thing that is
tangible to me is the are you
watching like like what do you like of
course you’re scared shitless if you’re
watching propaganda that you’re gonna
get killed every day the news you know
and so like
like so you know on the flip side though
I’m not talking about the secret you
know I’m not talking about sitting on
your couch and being like I’m
gonna be a millionaire and Boop
you know you got a do out here
I’m just really curious to what
people are consuming how they’re
thinking and who are they spending time
with and there is no coincidence that
certain coaches in sports have
tremendous programs it’s because it is a
atmosphere within four walls and a
players change but the results do not as
much obviously there’s variables and I
do think that’s mine sentence structure
and and the general theme and I’ll be
honest with you negativity is way too
loud and positivity is way too quiet and
so if you’re sitting in a theater
tonight and you’re also happy
share that point of view because the
ones that are unhappy are sharing at
scale
[Applause]
and and I apologize and if you and I
appreciate that and if you asked me you
know and I’m not sure if this is you
know rewriting history but intuitively I
do believe the reason that I’ve gotten
dramatically louder in the last three
years four years five years is I feel a
sense of responsibility as somebody who
genuinely is happy to share that and and
I do think it’s a responsibility you
know and so I’m on that kick and I’d
like you to join me yep and one of the
things that people might mistake when
they when they perceive you they might
think like well you’re always working
you’re always doing something but the
beauty of what you’re doing is you love
what you’re doing like you
really love it like it’s like you’re
playing poker and if you’re only playing
poker for the pot you’re probably gonna
have a shitty life but if you love
playing poker if you love that feeling
when you turn those whole cards over and
you love that feeling when everything’s
there then you’re probably gonna enjoy
yourself
especially when you turn those cards
over you’re fired up when it’s three
seven offsuit right like to me you have
to love your game even when it’s not
going your way and I think the thing
that I’ve come and realized about myself
is Wow when it was when I was seven and
it snowed and everybody went to go make
a snowman like I genuinely wanted to go
get a shovel
wring people’s doorbells and make six
bucks shoveling stuff like that was fun
for me and it wasn’t about the money you
know it just really genuinely wasn’t I
mean and so yeah I mean um you know my
hobbies are side businesses like the
case was collab empathy wines like this
sports card kick that I’m about to get
on these are these are my these are
these are my skiing these are my golfing
these are my Burning Man like I don’t
you know
so like so that’s and and and so when I
you know I’ve made a video the other day
and I was like you know kind of was
asking the audience like why do you want
to go to Coachella and people got mad at
me that I carry what the like relax
like and and I wasn’t judging Coachella
or are you going I was just asking a
simple question why are you going are
you going hard and you need four days to
completely let loose that makes a ton of
sense but if you’re going to keeping up
with the Joneses if you’re maxing your
credit card out just to go to parties if
your self-esteem is wrapped up into the
access passes that you have that’s going
to not work out and we need to start
asking ourselves you know how much of
our behavior is predicated on other
people’s judgment and I believe it’s a
lot also want me to help them with their
business and I said I couldn’t do that
so what would be like advice you would
give like you should go do your own
thing but like my surrounding they just
like so forcing me to do what they want
me to do and stuff but they’re not in
charge they’re only in charge if you’re
using their home and their money okay
and plus my mom she was like she said
that I am disappointed her because of my
choice of course because she’s using
psychological pressure for you to do
what she wants
[Applause]
the only thing you have to figure out is
that they have any leverage the only
leverage they have is money shelter and
psychological warfare
what’s that I’m living with them so well
if you’re gonna want to go do your own
thing you’re gonna have to move and
you’re not gonna have to like here’s my
big thing with kids like as you can tell
I’m very Pro you but if you’re gonna go
do this thing that’s disappointing them
then you can’t take from them either
because then you’re being spoiled so if
you feel so passionate about this thing
that you want to go do go do it but
don’t expect them to support it because
they don’t believe in it so go stick it
in their face
right let me tell you one thing about
parents and this is very common they may
be upset now but if you go and pull this
off
they will not be disappointed and more
importantly if you go and try this deep
down one day they’ll tell you secretly
that they’re not disappointed what
advice do you have for someone who’s
graduating college and for doing a job
to start a business to do that but what
do you what’s like give me more specific
like try to win like you know like what
do you mean so what’s the most pressing
question in that in that money how do
you get raise it how do you like to
provide your if I’m moving out I’m not
gonna have a job to have an income so I
got to live some way it started live
shitty look and get it and get a side
job like work six hours a day at like
7-eleven and like live the life of
somebody who makes $9.50 an hour the
biggest thing that your generation has
contextually lost is in nineteen seventy
four people did this what they did was
they worked a job and then they worked
on their business at night like
everybody wants to build a business but
nobody wants to bleed to build a
business like might might my advices to
bleed
[Music]
