Les Brown – FORGET THE PAST (Powerful Motivational Video )
see a lot of folks won’t let you forget
what you used to do or what you have
done what mistakes you’ve made all of us
have made some risk mistakes in life all
of us have done some things that if we
have them to do over again we wouldn’t
do it again a lot of things that if I
had it to do over again if I knew then
what I know now I would have done it
differently well did it happen that way
in your mind right now think about some
particular event or act in your life
that you feel very bad about she really
regret that that took place if you had
to do over again you would do it
differently with that there I want you
to see yourself in your mind’s eye and
say to yourself I love myself
unconditionally
[Music]
and I forgive myself I knew better
I would have done better
I want you to think about somebody that
want it either deliberately or
inadvertently
or someone that has hurt you
deliberately or inadvertently think
about them somebody that that you really
really will you think about them in the
room turns red look at them in your
mind’s eye and say I forgive you
[Music]
I forgive you unconditionally
for that’s a heavy load let off when I
thought about that guy I said wait a
minute
I can’t no no you don’t know what this
guy did this was my mama you don’t know
what we went through my students said
let’s forgive let it go if you want to
be forgiven you better forgive somebody
none of us the perfect all of us have
made some mistakes and it wasn’t easy
it’s not easy forgiving am i right it’s
not everybody won’t forgive they say I
forgive but I don’t forget enough so you
can grow let’s get a little
demonstration here throw it up on this
side here right demonstrate it like this
let’s go I throw away negative thoughts
revenge anything that’s been holding me
back
now with that right hand let’s bring
something in I bring it love peace of
mind good relationships
[Music]
heard a guy give a lecture one time that
says we are today what we were win and
he was talking about the fact that we to
a great extent behave think react
because of some previous experience that
we’ve had one of the things that we know
about life is that it is always changing
sometimes you’re up sometimes you’re
down sometimes things go real well and
sometimes they don’t sometimes you’re
happy and sometimes you’re sad now
that’s that thing called life and when
we begin to understand and know that
accepting that reality that that we will
never ever have things just on an even
keel all the time but you’re gonna have
some ups and you’re gonna have some
downs but during those down moments
that’s where the growth takes place
that’s where the work is anybody can
feel good when they have their health
their bills are paid they have happy
relationships the children are acting
normal business is successful
anybody could be positive then anybody
can have a larger vision then anybody
can have faith under those kinds of
circumstances
am I correct see but the real challenge
the real challenge of growth mentally
emotionally and spiritually comes when
you get knocked down somebody said that
that adversity introduces a man to
himself or a woman how you handle it
that’s where the growth takes place when
I was facing some challenges I had a guy
say something to me and I suggest this
is one of the first things that you want
to do when you’re facing a challenge you
want to get unstuck evaluate where you
are look at it assess yourself assess
yourself and assess the situation what
brought you there what role did you play
Earl Nightingale had a saying I like he
said all of us are self-made but only
the successful will admit it
what has brought you to this point what
did you learn from it are you learning
anything are you doing it over and over
and over again somebody said that
insanity is doing the same thing in the
same way expecting a different outcome
are you going through it or are you
growing through it are you bigger and
better because of it because it’s not
going to leave you until you grow
through it I was going through a major
challenge in my life that was wearing me
out that was using me and one of my
students told me in a class that I was
teaching lessons in truth she said less
until you handle it with grace it will
stay in your face and it stayed there
long time the challenges of life how do
we get it how do we get stuck a friend
of mine went through a divorce my best
friend he had a wife that did not love
him as much as he loved her it was this
first real true love he was a very
religious man did not believe in divorce
he made a mistake and he paid for his
mistake with a lot of pain a lot of
tears and they came to a point where he
knew he should have got a divorce but he
was stuck he was stuck in something
called revenge he said she’s made me so
miserable I’m gonna pay her back
he was stuck and he stayed in there
longer than he should have because it
begins us us attack him it began to
affect him psychologically and as a
result of that would eventually did get
a divorce
he took that same attitude to other
relationships looking for something to
go wrong he was burned so badly he did
not want to risk pain again he was going
in relationships trying to avoid pain
when it became too close he would do
something to make sure the relationship
did not work he would always try and
find something wrong with the person
because there are no perfect people so
if you look for it you can find it he
was stuck in revenge
another friend of mine working on a job
loved the company very much expected to
retire there and one day they call him
in the office ask him for his badge and
identification told the security man up
walked into his desk told him he was
fired and he had to leave then he was
devastated and if you came anywhere near
him he will tell you his story as we all
have stories even when he got a job he
went on the job telling anybody who
would listen how they fired him unjustly
and he always ended with it wasn’t fair
life isn’t fair life just is it’s not
fair that birds eat worms and they do
so we can’t even deal with what’s fair
but he’s stuck in the fact that it’s not
fair I don’t deserve that they were
wrong I used to be a state legislator in
Columbus Ohio during the break we used
to go out on the front lawn of the Ohio
legislature and the Capitol there and
observe people as they came by there was
one particular person that all of us
knew the children adults everybody used
to pick at him when he came by
we called him chicken man he had a
feather in his hat he had a toy chicken
on top of his car that he would drive
around the area in downtown blinking his
lights and occasionally blowing his horn
when he got out of his car he would dry
he would walk down town with a baby
carriage with two little baby dolls in
there and a picture of a woman and when
you say something to him okay him near
him you would hear him making the sounds
of a chicken all of us used to laugh a
chicken man we didn’t know chicken man
story
chicken man woke up one morning around
3:00 a.m. and his house was on fire
he panic and he got out of the window
left quickly only to get outside to hear
his children and his wife screaming for
help he ran back to the door to go in to
save them and the flames were too hot
too awesome he tried to get in he
couldn’t get in he was desperate frantic
pretty soon the cries stopped they
perish in the fire his brother-in-law
came found out that his sister died and
his nieces in the fire grabbed chicken
man and started beating him you chicken
why did you save my sister your chicken
your chicken when the people pulled it
off chicken man they picked him up and
said are you all right and chicken man
looked at him and he started making the
sounds of a chicken he never ever
overcame that tragedy he will stop from
that experience none of us knew what
chicken man went wrong with this picture
and these little dolls
I remember when I was stuck in anger for
a long time when I made a commitment to
my adopted mother that I was going to
purchase her home I’ll never forget the
experience of working real hard to get
the money for the down payment someone
had told me of a beautiful home an
exclusive area of Miami went to see it
took my mother there and she said yes I
want it there’s on the water we went to
the closing my attorney said less have
you had a title search I said what’s a
title search
well youi just take a couple of days to
check it out and make sure there are no
liens against the property that you
might have to pay if you buy this home
the guy who was there selling me the
house he said listen he said the only
reason that I’m selling you this house
and selling it at a loss is because I
admire the fact that you want to
purchase this house for your mother I
have another guy who will give me
substantially more money but I like you
and I’ve got to get back to Philadelphia
now if we cannot consummate this deal
now then the deal is off I said there
are no liens against the property he
says no of course not
I looked at my attorney I said I believe
him I’ll sign she said mr. Brown I’m not
questioning his honesty she said but
business is business I signed that
contract and we had a big celebration
everybody in the neighborhood was
talking about Leslie coming home one of
the twins that Mamie adopted to buy her
a home Charl isn’t that nice God is
going to bless him
a few weeks later I received a letter a
registered letter indicating that the
house was going up for sheriff sale on
the courthouse steps a man had filed a
$12,000 lien against the property
because the previous owner old him that
money and if I did not come up with
$12,000 in 30 days he was going to sell
the house to the highest bidder I called
this man and said mister my name is les
Rana I purchased this house I had
nothing to do with your prior bill bill
bill he said that’s not my problem he
said you should have had a title search
I said can you give me time I said my
mother is an older lady she has a bad
heart and I said please I said if you
just give me the time I don’t know how
I’m gonna do it with the house note and
everything else but I think I can pay
you at least $2,000 a month and within
six months somehow I will pay your money
he said no I wanted all in 30 days so
you get out I did everything I could
rack my mind thinking about how I could
get $12,000 because I took everything I
could to get the money just for the down
payment and the closing I finally had to
face the reality that I wasn’t going to
be able to do it I was up around two
o’clock in the morning walking back and
forth thinking how was I going to tell
my mother this my children were there in
the room sleeping all night long I
agonized over this I lost over 23 pounds
pretty soon I went in the room where my
mother was sleeping and I said mama I
got down on my knees by the bed I said
mama I got to talk to you and she said
what’s wrong I said mama I said we got
to get out the house I said in my haste
to buy the house I made a mistake
she said that’s all right baby I didn’t
like this house any huh
I said mama you told me you loved it I
brought our friends out here to sit she
said you know I have arthritis in my
knees and I don’t like going up the
steps but I knew it made you happy you
loved it so much I said mom I’ve lost 23
pounds agonizing over this well we had
to pack up and go back to the old house
down the street from Northwestern High
School in Liberty City
all those maples who came out and saw
his leave those neighbors were there as
we were coming back we went in the house
the roaches were playing cards saying
come on in and take a hand
I was wiped out I was embarrassed and
humiliated words cannot encompass the
symbolism of what I felt I remember when
I was unloading the furniture now I
began to cry my sister came by hmm you
know you didn’t have any money to buy no
house mr. big-time
hadn’t given me a quarter you know mama
got a bad heart not y’all back where you
belong
as I was crying my head down taking
furniture and my momma said hold your
head up I said mama I said I just feel
so bad about this mama she said hold
your head up and dry your tears you have
nothing to be shame up and I did as we
unloaded that furniture in that house
for several weeks I was numb I was
immobilized with anger if I had seen
that guy I was thinking about flying to
Philadelphia I had all kind of dreams
about him and I don’t want to hit this
guy here hitting would have been too
good for him I just want to just grab
him and just bite him just found him
what we found this guy just chewing on
it beating would have been too good for
him I just didn’t every time in my own
I’d have been like a Doberman Pinscher
the guard will just say I thought I made
everything but I don’t know where this
came from
I was reading the book on forgiveness
and they had a lot in that says forgive
and grow I had to let that luggage go
you see your mind is you know you’re
going to a service station to get gas
you don’t go in there and just stop
pumping when you push the lever up it
clears the previous bill by the same
token if you want to begin to move
you’ve got to clear your mind of all the
unnecessary luggage and baggage that’s
weighing us down I couldn’t move I
couldn’t think about what am I going to
do to get out of this situation because
I was so concerned about what happened
and what he did to me and how bad it was
I was so stuck in that I couldn’t even
focus on what I should have done feeling
sorry for myself and angry and none of
that was taking me anywhere so pretty
soon I I learned through effort made a
conscious deliberate determined effort I
had to let it go I had to forgive it let
it go and begin to focus on developing
myself and I say to you you’re gonna
have people to do things to you things
are going to happen to you and the most
important thing to do is to harness your
will and let it go and move so you can
grow so you can get on with your life it
doesn’t matter about what happens to you
what matters is what are you going to do
about it what are you going to do now
less car how long do you want to tell
everybody at the bus stop in anybody who
would stand and listen to you
how long you’ll repeat the same thing
over and over and over and over and over
again how many times do we have to hear
that don’t go around telling people what
your story is everybody has a story
80% don’t care 20% glad it’s you
[Applause]
it’s out glad that didn’t happen to me
sometimes you think you got some problem
you hear somebody else problem and the
problem is real bad it make you feel
good tried to let that go all of us got
stories to tell chicken man aloud his
tragedy to destroy his life all of us
have experienced some tragedy if we
haven’t we will and you can even let it
destroy your life or you can build upon
it you can permit it to let you let it
hold you down or you can decide I’m not
going to let that happen to me I’m
bigger than this make a declaration to
yourself declare all-out war that you’re
going to get out of this rut I don’t
care how good you are to care how
talented you are I don’t care how much
you work on yourself there are some
times when things aren’t going to go
right they just I’m not going to go
right there are times when anything that
can happen will happen Murphy’s Law will
be knocking at your door why I don’t
know why that’s called life and you have
to deal with it sometimes your life will
be in a slump just like sports some of
the best shooters can’t hit baskets
different times and games they get in a
slump do they sit on the sidelines and
say you know I adjusted hitter basket
today
no they continue to execute I suggest to
you that if you are facing a challenge
don’t stop stay busy work your plan
continue to do those things that you
know that work for you after you have
evaluated yourself in the situation
continue to move stay busy stay busy
stay busy repeat out to me help somebody
and help yourself because what you give
is what you get find somebody that you
can help so you can forget about you for
a moment see sometimes the best thing to
do is to be sometimes you have to just
back up and go within yourself a bow and
arrow you you can’t take a bow and just
push it out of there you just can’t push
the Aral out you have to pull it back
and then release it sometimes you have
to back up and go within and pray and
meditate and recharge your batteries go
away clear your head and then come back
and look at it from a different vantage
point don’t operate while you are under
the spell of the effect of what’s going
on next thing is that you’ve got to
activate the thinker in you don’t allow
your emotions to control you we are
emotional but we you want to begin to
discipline your emotion if you don’t
discipline and contain your emotions
they won’t use you your mind goes on
automatic just like a guard you know I
loved reading the book call has a manthe
kid by James Allen he uses the analogy
of the mind being like a garden you know
weeds don’t have to have any
encouragement to grow you don’t have to
water them they don’t have to get
sunshine they don’t have to have fur
ground they will grow through the cracks
of a sidewalk am i right but if you want
to grow orchids or roses or any kind of
exotic flowers there are special
processes and procedures you must go
through well by the same token you don’t
have to fuss yourself or motivate
yourself to think negatively to be
depressed to hate somebody to want
revenge you want to get back at somebody
to beat yourself up over the head to
feel loaded with guilt you don’t have to
make any effort to do that your mind is
on automatic it will do that by itself
but if you want to begin to move into
your own personal greatness if you want
to begin to really enjoy a happy
successful healthy life you’ve got to be
willing to go against the tide you’ve
got to be willing to harness your will
and say in spite of this
I’m in control here I’m not gonna let
this get me down I’m not gonna let this
destroy me I’m coming back and I’ll be
stronger and better because of it you
have got to make a declaration this is
what you stand for you’re standing up
for your dreams you’re standing up for
peace of mind
you’re standing up for health you want
it and you’re gonna go all out to have
it it’s not going to be easy when you
want to change it’s not easy if it were
in fact easy everybody to do it but if
you’re serious you’ll go all out yes I’m
going to turn this situation around I’m
not going to sit back and moan and cry
over what happened and what went wrong
and who did what I’m going to do
something about this situation the next
thing that is important is that expect
things to get better for you because
they are say life is cyclic you’re not
what does whatever experience you’re
having right now it has not come to stay
it has come to pass not to stay just to
pass it’s just going through the biggest
challenges is to know what’s happening
this is a part of this thing we call
life this too shall pass and maintaining
perspective putting it in perspective I
was doing a training at a college and it
was a two-day training during
orientation and in the training that I
provide I’m a motivational speaker but I
conduct processes and personal dynamics
where people begin to go through changes
that stimulate the right and left
hemisphere of the brain enable them to
see themselves differently I conducted
this particular simulation with these
young kids 17 and 18 years of age so
that they would begin to see how they
make decisions of how they would survive
in this particular simulation process we
gave them we had them to do it
individually and then collectively over
30% of them wrote down as their first
option in order to survive they would
commit suicide
first thing they wrote down suicide
among young people has increased 300%
over 5,000 will successfully take their
lives this year why why did it do that
they defensive I was so shocked I said
what do you mean well at least we would
not suffer and then they had the nerve
to write down all of the other things
they were going to do after they
committed suicide
I said listen cut dumbo know when you
when you come up with a permanent
solution for a temporary problem that’s
it games over
that’s it you’re not going to do
anything anybody wrote suicide at the
top you can put your pencil down see a
lot of us because of our limited vision
of ourselves a lot of us who begin to
focus on problems and enable them to
overwhelm us we begin to think that we
have no options we begin to believe that
there’s no way out
repeat up me there’s always a way where
there’s a will there’s a way
shake somebody’s hand on your right or
left and say I’m unstoppable
you’ve got to make those kind of
declarations to yourself I’m unstoppable
this will not get me down and if I get
knocked down I’m gonna be like um leopa
Scott you said you’re gonna have some
low moments in life but when you do you
will have high lows when you work on
yourself what are some of those things
that you can do during this period of
time go for walks do some things for you
just go for a stroll so you can engage
in some reflective thinking on life on
yourself looking and enjoying the
universe smelling the roses along the
way listen to upbeat music music that
inspired you I have only but goodies I
have strategies that I engage in to
recharge my batteries I’m preparing for
that because I know things are going to
happen that I cannot anticipate very
good friend of mine died the other day I
had a program for myself I have books
that I read that inspire me tapes that I
listen to that fire me up because you’re
gonna have sometimes low moments when
you won’t want to get out of bed you
just want to stay there the times you
won’t want to come out of the house the
times you’ll be feeling better and don’t
know why what’s wrong I don’t know just
leave me alone
what did I happen I don’t know it’s
called life
the other thing is take full
responsibility for your life except
where you are and the responsibility
that you’re going to take yourself where
you want to go so once that we have two
primary choices in life we can either
accept conditions as they exist or we
can take the responsibility to change
them see a lot of people want to exempt
themselves from taking responsibility
all they want to do is talk about the
problem every time you see them they’ll
tell you their story over and over and
over and over again no no you want to
take responsibility for your life
I got me here I can get me out of this
and I’m getting out I’m not going to be
a volunteer victim George Bernard Shaw
said there two kinds of people in life
you know he said those that make things
happen those that watch things happen
and those that don’t know what happened
and he said the people that get alone in
this life look around for the
circumstances that they want and if they
can’t find them they make up they
creator so part of beginning to get
unstuck you’ve got to decide that the
behavior pattern that you have adopted
doesn’t work for you you’ve got to
change your strategies and changing your
strategy means reinventing your life
recreating you and you have the power to
do that you can decide that you’re going
to change that you’re not going to be a
wimp
you can decide that you’re going to
stand up to life
you can decide that I’m gonna live each
day as if it were my last you can you
have the power to make that decision
you can decide I’m gonna work on myself
and develop myself I’m going to empower
me and all of these things that are
happening to me right now they’re just
temporary inconveniences they’re not
stronger than I am
I’m in charge here next thing is
separate what you do from who you are
that’s what the guilt trap is about
see a lot of folks won’t let you forget
what you used to do or what you have
done what mistakes you’ve made all of us
have made some risk mistakes in life all
of us have done some things that if we
had them to do over again we wouldn’t do
it again a lot of things that if I had
it to do over again if I knew then what
I know now I would have done it
differently well it did happen that way
and that’s what you call life I didn’t
do it like that oh you don’t want me to
live that down how you want to keep on
putting that in my face about what I did
guess what I’m not interested that’s
what I did fit won’t do it today so you
were picking on an innocent man hello
so as you’re in the process of
reinventing your life write a
description of the kind of person that
you want to be one of the things that
you must overcome what qualities about
your personality you know that you’re
going to have to change because those
particular characteristics are
liabilities to you
what are you assets what are you strong
points look at and evaluating yourself
to make that determination other thing
is that in order to get out of a rut we
need some coaching find some trusted
critics people that you know care about
you to love you some things that keeps
us from growing and getting out of ruts
number one we identify with feedback we
take it personal when someone want to
give us some feedback on where we are
falling short you tell us about our
blind spots we want to have everything
being positive about us we’re not
perfect it’s it hurts I have a friend
who’s a trusted critic I don’t like him
but I love him he doesn’t tell me the
things I want to hear he tell me what I
need to hear so I can grow it hurts it
hurts when he put me on the hot seat I
can’t stand it but that’s the only way
that I can grow and I’m glad that he
loves me enough to risk our friendship
to tell me what I need to hear not what
I want to hear
get a support group somebody that you
can talk to people who perhaps might
have a similar problem support groups
are very powerful that you can share
some of the challenges that you’re going
through and it might be a situation
where one person can give you an idea of
how they handle that situation and
create an opening for you begin to
stimulate some possibilities in your
mind on how you can resolve the problem
we can’t grow by ourselves
as I mentioned before we grow from
people in projects the other thing is
about life when things happen to you
when you permit things to use you you
can’t change the past but you can
interpret you can reinterpret how you
see it for years I was going around with
a heavy load on my shoulders feeling bad
because I was adopted doing interviews
for adoption agencies in foster homes
and I was on television once and I told
these people in this particular
interview that I was given away my twin
brother and I when we were 6 weeks of
age friend of mine fortunately was
listening to the program and she said
les like to have lunch with you and so I
went over to see her she said when a
woman carries a baby for nine months
feeling that life movement in her it’s
automatic and natural for her to learn
to love that baby to expect it to come
here when she bares to pain to bring it
into the world
your mother Mamie Brown when she came in
to adopt you guys she didn’t go through
that process she looked at whoever your
biological mother was and said I’ll take
her you weren’t giving away less you
were chosen with love
same circumstances same event but
reinterpreted an interpretation that
empowers me am I making sense to you
so when you begin to look at your past
give an interpretation that empowers you
that’s where I used to be that’s not
where I am now I’m growing now I want
you to think about in your mind right
now think about some particular event or
act in your life that you feel very bad
about that you really regret that that
took place if you had to do over again
you would do it differently with that
there I want you to see yourself in your
mind’s eye and say to yourself I love
myself unconditionally and I forgive
myself I knew better I would have done
better
I want you to think about somebody that
that cost you some pain cost you some
disappointment somebody that you don’t
like let me tell you something about the
mind how it uses you tell you something
super stupid that I’d used to do do you
know for years I hated my mother and my
father whoever they were because they
gave me away as I thought at that point
in time and guess what
I didn’t have any faces for the hatred
because I never saw either one of them
and I said I hate them for that and then
once I forgave them and said it’s okay
had they not given me away I would have
never been blessed to have the mother
that I have who to me is the greatest
mother in the world so the universe and
Foles as it’s you
but when I went through this process
saying forgive them I remember in my
mind as I was trying to picture these
people I had two individuals in my mind
standing there with no faces because I
didn’t know how they look but I released
that I let that luggage go think about
somebody that you’ve heard somebody that
you’ve disappointed either deliberately
or inadvertently or someone that has
hurt you
deliberately or inadvertently think
about them somebody that that you really
really when you think about them that
the room turns red look at them in your
mind’s eye and say I forgive you I
forgive you unconditionally for that’s a
heavy load to let off when I thought
about that guy I said wait a minute I
can’t no no you don’t know what this guy
did this was my mama you don’t know what
we went through my students said les
forgive let it go if you want to be
forgiven you better forgive somebody
none of us are perfect all of us have
made some mistakes and it wasn’t easy
it’s not easy forgiving am i right it’s
not everybody won’t forgive they say I
forgive but I don’t forget now
let it go so you can grow let’s get a
little demonstration here throw it up
with you on this side here right
demonstrate it like this let’s go I
throw away negative thoughts revenge
guilt
anything that’s been holding me back
now with that right hand let’s bring
something in I’ll bring in love peace of
mind good relationships whole lot of
money
[Laughter]
I don’t know why people raise their
voices we stay holed out of that I mean
they get serious too you know they they
usually people are you running they use
two hands it they try to borrow somebody
else’s hair you know reinterpreting our
past understanding and knowing that we
can move from where we are that we can
begin to design the kind of life that
empowers us that gives us happiness that
enable us to be on top of who we are
knowing that as we begin to explore new
horizons and new vistas in life that as
we begin to to focus on developing
ourselves as we begin to elevate
ourselves and not to follow the crowd
activating the thinker in us and dis
disciplining and putting on hold the
emotional part of ourselves it’s not
easy but through practice and practice
and practice practice makes what
absolutely not dismantle that belief
system
practice makes improvement you can
always better your best you can always
go beyond anything that you have ever
done you never hit a state of perfection
you’re always bigger than what you do
and so all you’re looking for new
breakthroughs through practice and
practice and practice you’ll get better
and better and better and there’s still
some things that will happen to you that
will catch you on the blindside that you
did not anticipate you’ll get knocked
down but you won’t be knocked out you’ll
be able to get to your feet again beyond
the ropes but you have a fast recovery
rate when you work on yourself
