Just Ask Connie:Hurt By Family Member | Motivational Keynote Speaker | Connie Podesta Presents
well this is Connie Podesta and how many
times have you wished that you had
someone to talk to about your problems
well your wish has been answered and
here I am your in-house in-your-face
therapist County Podesta and I’m coming
right into your home to give you the
kind of straightforward answers to the
questions that you’ve been dying to ask
so we have on the phone right now our
caller Kristi Kristi hello hello
well you sound happy how are you doing
okay okay well when I see here Kristi is
let me get this right some family member
kind of hurt your feelings is that about
sum it up yeah a little over a year ago
my aunt said some things that were
really hurtful okay and since then I
really want so much to do with her okay
this really bothers my mom my mother
wants me to go to my aunt and say let me
let me ask a question just a second here
is this your mom’s sister yeah
okay so your mom has kind of a vested
interest in this right this is her
sister and her daughter so this is and
this happened a year ago and before we
do any more and I and I I kind of need
to know what kind of hurtful things
because this is going to help me hurtful
things about your personality can you
give us kind of an idea of what she said
he can’t owed me to my biological dad
who is a really rotten person okay so
she you liked him and what did she mean
by that
give me the traits that she was
referring to I think irresponsibility
okay and let me ask you I mean you don’t
live with your aunt are you in your 30s
or how old are you
yes she she’s my mother’s oldest sister
when I first moved out to the area I did
live with her for a while until I found
a place to live
okay he’s always been very involved okay
so you lived with your aunt she took
care of you she helped you out and
something ticked her off she didn’t like
something about the situation so you and
her have a phone call and she tells you
that your
responsible and she you know kind of
hits below the belt and and says
something that she absolutely knows is
gonna hurt you the most and compares you
to your biological dad now I’m saying if
you’re saying biological dad you’re
obviously not too close to him is that
correct yeah I haven’t seen him since I
was six years old okay so what she did
is what and isn’t it terrible folks that
we do this to the people that we quote
love the most we always know what the
people that we love the most Christie we
know exactly what to say to them that
will blow them away because we have all
this little insight information and what
your anted right now maybe she had some
we’re not even gonna judge here maybe
she had some valid points maybe you were
a little irresponsible maybe you weren’t
but the mistakes she made and what she
did that is so wrong and what I want all
of us to learn from that are watching
this is there’s a way to tell someone
something and then there’s a way to what
I call hit below the belt and go beyond
the boundaries and she had a piece of
information Christie about you that very
few people would know and that is that
you’re very saddened by your biological
dad you haven’t had much to do with him
it probably hurts you to even think
about him so she pulled this weapon of
this Arsenal outright and kind of
bombarded you with the one thing that
hurt you the most is that correct yeah
know what now let’s be real honest here
would it be safe to say that maybe
partly what she’s saying about you being
or responsible was there a little truth
to anything she was saying forget the
dad part just what she was saying okay
so you can be a little irresponsible
correct yeah yeah okay and so she had
some valid points correct okay okay and
well you’re being kind of did she or not
I mean was she just totally lying and
totally off base or did she have a
couple of valid points he does okay but
I mean nobody let’s just stay there I
wrote so she had a couple valid points
what she the hurtful part I think
Christie is not if she had called you
and said Christie you’re my niece
I love you a lot and my goodness you can
certainly be irresponsible sometimes and
you need to get your act together and
you need to be a little more organized
or whatever that you could have had a
decent conversation with okay right yeah
what you’re heard about Christie is that
she pulled out something to use against
you
that is one of the few things in your
life probably that just hurt you the
most right so she betrayed your trust of
confidence another word she pulled out
some pieces of knowledge and and I want
us all to think about this when we’re in
the family and we have a spouse or we
have a child or we have a mom or we have
a dad or in this case we have a niece we
know things about our family we we know
what hurts them we know what they’re
afraid of we know what scares them to
death we know what they’ll never do and
those are the things that when we cross
the line and we pulled that piece of
information out that person is never
ever going to forgive or forget and
isn’t that about what’s happened
Christie it’s hard for you to forgive or
forget that she did that one thing right
okay so a years gone by what have you
done did you call her up like a grown up
and tell her that you can’t believe she
said that and that was really
unacceptable and she owes you an apology
no oh you’re waiting for her to do it
aren’t you I didn’t break this she did I
know but you certainly you certainly
have a right here’s what I would do
Christie forget the year you’re right if
she’s wrong I would definitely call her
on the phone or Ryder low of note and
say you’re my aunt we’ve had a lot of
things together in the past I appreciate
what you’ve done but you did something
wrong maybe I’m responsible you hit me
and hurt me with a really hard piece of
information and I really think you owe
me an apology and I want you to do that
Christie I’m heading to a
