I CAN, I WILL, I MUST | Tony Robbins Les Brown Jim Rohn
people are not their behavior so you know this behavior isn’t working it’s not the person we got to disrupt the behavior not the person the person’s a great person what else yeah i could be misinterpreting this right now maybe i need to do a reality check okay now what i’d like you to do is open your eyes and i’d like you to turn to the people that are most nearby you in the office there and if you’ve already done this before doesn’t matter i want you to do a little repetition the repetition i want you to do is i want you get with a group of at least four people and what we do is one person turn to the other three and tell them and demonstrate for them how you communicate when you’re stressed verbally and non-verbally but you got to do it in a humorous way where you make a parody of yourself here’s a reminder you’re getting up and putting yourself what kind of expression on your face initially hey what kind of look sheepish look so kind of a silly sheepish look and what are you gonna say in the past the way i communicated when i was what stressed was and you’ll describe it and then you’ll do a demonstration okay and the staff will help you if you forget what you’re like okay staff you can help them and tell them no show us like your angry one you know the one right then coach you to it second second question so you remember what it is is in the past i used to try and get leverage on people and get them to do what i wanted by threatening or whatever the case may be thirdly the way i used to i think the way you guys probably saw me during those times was and describe how you think they saw you and then asked them how did you see me okay if you did this with us last time when we did the in-depth example of this i’m doing this again for repetition to remind you what those patterns are but also those you who are on staff or the doctor whoever sitting in the audience give them some honest feedback about how they’ve done in the last 60 days have you seen less of those expressions have you seen less of that intensity if you’ve seen more say you know actually it’s increased the last few weeks the last couple months maybe because give them the benefit out maybe because the stress in the office or christmas or whatever you know but just to give them some honest feedback how many people want to give honest feedback how many be willing to trust that if you give honest feedback you won’t get like retaliation later okay and the goal of this the goal of this process last last thing of course is you’re going to tell them how you’re going to communicate in the future and do a demonstration but if i’m stressed i’ll come to you and say i need your help and demonstrate what you’re going to do instead the goal of the process though is to have fun so your job again is do a parody of yourself and on staff is to have fun not to correct people and say yeah you just come back that’s what you do okay all those want to go for it say aye go for it why are we doing these quote unquote third grade exercises to feel better that’s a good first step right first of all the better you know yourself the more awareness you have about your own patterns the less chance of you going unconscious and doing things later on you’re going to regret how many would agree with me on this how many have learned something about yourself by doing this just now how many relearn something you’d forgot about from the last time you were here how many of you are doing better we got feedback that you’re doing better now than the last time you’re here ie the people gave you feedback you’ve made improvements over the last 60 days i’m curious how many have not made improvements over the last 60 days how many did not bother to ask because you didn’t want to know okay now the other reason we want to do this is the more we know about the people we work with the better our communication will be true so if i know that one of your patterns because you share it with me is to get all shut down in this way what could i do now in the future to support you without being invasive or taking advantage or anything like that what can i do to support you for example if i know monty here shuts down he’s already demonstrated that for me what can i do in the future kind of tease him and get him a better state if i saw him in a shutdown state what can i say what could i do give me some examples first of all our goal is to break his what that’s right our goal always to interrupt the patterns that don’t support us and how many are patterns that don’t support you when you’re stressed great so we want to interrupt those and by the way if we interrupt them enough we can’t get back there remember the metaphor i’ve given you a couple times about the record what allows you to hear that same music over and over again is this pattern in the record right that you hear again and again and again but if i take a needle one day and i go back and forth back and forth back and forth back and forth pretty soon that record will never play the same way again i’ve broken the pattern and that’s what we’re doing here by adding awareness you begin to break the pattern but if also in the middle they’re doing it you interrupt their pattern enough times they literally after a while won’t be able to get back in that state how many would find that to be useful to have your pattern interrupted in an elegant way that maybe was humorous so tell me some ways you could break the people’s patterns in your offices if they’re upset instead of getting upset with them because they’re upset with you or they’re mean you could actually look at it as being humorous like oh there they go again that old cartoon character of them so what could you do what would you do to break monty state give me an example hanson well he’s got an exciting stuff here staff said he would pants him if he did this okay the biggest challenge i had to overcome and it’s a continuous challenge is allowing myself to see myself beyond my circumstances and mental conditioning to live out of my imagination rather than my history when you are raised in a culture that that constantly demean you marginalize you and stifle your potential to move forward i remember reading a quote by a guy named richard wright who said that the impulse to dream has been slowly beaten out of me through the experiences of life so just imagine in 1963 when i graduated from high school now that’s you know that that’s a long time ago my grandson said grandpa how hello to you i said 75.
he said you are all 19 in 1963 here’s what the statistics were in 1963. that if you’re an african-american you’re the last hire in the first five if you’re an african-american that a a white college trained black person has less of a chance of getting a job than a white high school dropout that’s in 1963.
according to the federal reserve that still exists so so just imagine when an african-american graduates from college and in debt that a white high school dropout today will earn more money three times more money than that black college graduate three times more all right why because of his paint job i’ll never forget lewis i saw an interview with larry king and this white supremacist was being interviewed and he said tell me why do you why do you hate black people he said because they’re black so and he said and he said and i’m white so larry said what did you have to do with that and this white supremacist said what he said what did you have to do with your being born white and he didn’t have an answer he just got quiet and and larry in that question that strategic question it created an aha moment hopefully for that young man that’s that’s part of the mystery you know i’ve written how many books now five or six and uh um i should have written 26.
so what happened to those other 20 books that’s the mystery you know the magic is the six and the mystery is the 20 that are missing so we’re a bit of a mystery to ourselves right yeah sure i should have but i didn’t you know i had the skills but i didn’t put him to work so we all have a bit of that but then the things we do that sort of dramatically change our life that’s the magic that’s that’s the power part of it is the law of averages you know i tell this little bible story about the sorrow not to sow the seed he was highly ambitious and he had good seed but the first part of the seed that he sowed the bird’s got and the next uh he keeps going and the next seed falls on thorn uh stony ground where the soil is shallow and the little plant starts to grow in the first hot day it withers and dies so he keeps on going the next seed that he sowed uh fell on thorny ground little plant starts to grow and then the thorns choke it to death and it called the thorns little cares little things that keep people from doing and the bigger things and then finally he keeps on sowing and the seed falls finally on good ground but then the good ground was a bit of an interesting idea that some of it produced 30 some of it produced 60 and some of it produced a hundred so it’s the full range from the birds getting some and the hot weather and the thorns to the good ground even though good ground has a variety of thirty sixty hundred so when i started out lecturing i wondered why i couldn’t get everybody to do the hundred percent then i found out you know this this is not to be right you know so that when i say to john you should have been at the meeting last night and he said well hey the screen screen door came off the hinges i had to fix and do some repairs and so i say now i understand yeah that some people are going to let little things cheat him out of doing better things but maybe that’ll change you know you know a week from now somebody wakes up and has an experience like i did with the with the girl scout and uh and everything changes so the door usually is always open unless somebody totally resists the idea of self-improvement but i think there’s enough experiences along the way to protest and push us a little bit or we hear a testimonial or read a book right or somebody buys us a ticket and we go to a seminar and we’re never the same again you share an idea with someone two people one of them says i see it another one says it isn’t clear to me why not it’s perfectly clear when you shared it you