HOW TO CONTROL YOUR THOUGHTS | Stefan James Motivation
you see our brain is not designed to
make you happy your brain is designed as
a survival mechanism to keep them safe
and protect you to prevent threats from
occurring in your life and to avoid them
at all costs for the dangers of life and
that’s what has been incredibly useful
for us to survive as a species up until
this point but you got to realize the
purpose of your mind and your brain is
for survival not for happiness and so
therefore it’s your job to direct your
mind on what is going to make you happy
and I’ve often used the metaphor that
your mind is like a century on a ship
right the century on the ship the job is
to look out and watch out for things
that are potential threats so your mind
the century is gonna be like oh look out
for this look out for that
be careful you know it’s gonna always
warn you of these things it’s like an
over worried mother you listen to too
much it’s gonna drive you crazy but
you’re gonna remind yourself that you
are the captain of the ship that you
direct it’s great that your brain and
your mind is providing this useful
information for you but if it’s not
relevant you don’t need to listen to it
you’ve got to direct your mind instead
of what you want and what you want to be
an experience and medication I think is
incredibly valuable because you learn
how to calm your mind I’m gonna make it
calm all that thoughts that you have
those aren’t really your thoughts
they’re not unique they’re not original
they’re thoughts that come from your
lower self most often but we also have a
higher self our best self and when you
understand those thoughts
they don’t serve or empower you that you
don’t have to listen to them that
they’re not who you are you don’t have
to associate with it you can learn how
to detach yourself from it that’s what
you learn through meditation is how to
observe and not attach to these thoughts
you might have just to allow them to
the moment that you experienced the
anger the frustration or annoyed you’re
driving in your car the person in front
of you is driving too slow which is this
based on your preference they have the
right to drive it whatever pace they
want they’re driving the speed limit
right the only reason why you’re upset
is you’ve created a rule in the belief
that has to happen the way you want it
to happen it’s not so you feel angry and
upset when that happens or any
equivalent of that you’re creating a
rock a block in the river in the flow
that’s gonna prevent you from
experiencing the happiness and joy first
when those things that happened be aware
of it
you have to learn to observe your
thoughts observe the mind
okay I’ve shared this before how the
mind is a protective mechanism it’s all
about survival it’s always gonna look
out for threats and dangers that’s
always going to look for what’s wrong or
what’s missing that’s the natural
default state it’s not there to make you
happy it’s not there to make you
successful it’s just trying to keep you
safe and protect you so it’s always
gonna point out things that are wrong
that are negative that are threats that
are dangers and you have to be aware of
that you have to be aware of how the
mind is working and when it creates
these thoughts and beliefs that are not
empowering for you you have to learn how
to distance yourself in your mind to be
the watcher to be the observer of your
thoughts to not attach to them to not
identify with your thoughts to have
non-judgement non-attachment
which is a very Buddhist philosophy and
way of thinking but when you can do that
and you don’t cling on you don’t resist
then these thoughts these events just
pass by in your life that most often
when we’re upset when we’re hurt when
you’re angry it’s often only because we
have expectations and beliefs and
preferences that aren’t being met right
and most often you know we create these
rules
you know and expectations that you know
these preferences that the only way that
we get experience happiness and joy is
this this this all these things have to
happen the way that we want it to happen
but sure enough what are the chances
that everything in life is going to
happen the way that you want right when
they do happen the way you want you feel
great you feel happy you feel amazing in
your life but most of the time things
are not gonna happen the way you want
them to happen so learning how to let go
and surrender to life in the moment to
not create attachments to all these
events and experiences is key that’s
number one but number two is letting go
all of these blocks and the baggage that
we have as preventing us from
experiencing what’s already within us
that abundance of love that abundance of
joy and happiness we are so abundant and
blessed right now but all you got to do
is focus on it and at the beginning if
you’ve been living in depression if
that’s been your habit guess what you
built the habit and the pattern of
focusing what’s missing in your life
what’s not gonna work you know all the
negative stuff and you’ve got to
overwrite it guess what when you
overwrite it with this it is gonna be
hard it’s gonna be challenging you’re
not used to it your brain is gonna say
this is all it’s gonna find the
ways to get you back to your comfort
zone of who you used to be because it
doesn’t want to change change that’s
stepping into the unknown
your brain is afraid of that and that’s
why you have to push yourself no matter
what you’ve got to make it a habit and
ritual and if you do it for 30 days
you’ll start to see the benefits and
feel the benefits of this of a happier
life most of our thoughts their thoughts
that come from the past or in the future
and they take us away from the present
moment the present moment is all we have
right it’s it’s it’s here it’s right now
and our thoughts past the future you’re
going to remind ourselves that that we
don’t have control over that yet
hasn’t happened yet that right here the
now is the most important thing and so
meditation helps you be more oppressive
helps you be in the moment more often
and in the moment you can experience
happiness and joy now some of you might
be thinking well Stefan you know my
unhappiness is my Drive it’s my
motivation right it’s what pushes me
every day by believing that to be
successful that’s gonna make me happy
boom you know that might be a motivator
for you but it’s not sustainable it’s
not lasting in fact I’d actually
challenge you on this and help you
understand instead you’ll see you’re
right now achieving to be happy what if
instead you happily achieved
I would actually challenge you to say
that if you’re happy right now every day
you’re much more likely to become
successful and achieve your goals versus
when you’re unhappy and you know you’re
using that as Drive to achieve your
goals see successful people aren’t happy
happy people are successful
you
