From ZERO MOTIVATION to $400 MILLION DOLLARS | Ed Mylett Motivation
I had a really good friend of mine I
went to lunch and he said I don’t know
who this guy is here
in front of me and he goes let me ask
you a question honestly right now what
are you grateful for and at the lunch I
said nothing brother there’s nothing
good in my life right now as I’m
mouthing these words two people walked
in with an older man both of them
clearly were fighting cancer somehow
both had lost their hair one of the
ladies had a bonnet on and they were
barely moving in both walked by our
table and gave me the most warm greeting
the warmest smile as a stranger and he
goes that’s pretty freaking pathetic you
can’t find anything in your life to be
grateful for right now there’s this
thing people think that like I’ll be
happy when once I get like this big
amazing home or once I get this car or
once I get this relationship or an
amount of money then I’ll allow myself
some happiness the problem is the finish
line always moves you never arrive there
right the other part is people think
well if I enjoy myself now I’m gonna
lose my drive in other words if I can
just wire myself with enough pain all
the time I won’t lose my driver ambition
the truth is there’s no correlation
between the two at all there’s no
relationship between you feeling
complete pain all the time and losing
drive and so I talked about living in a
state of blissful dissatisfaction and
really the best example of that would be
like if you’ve ever I love a good meal
right you know if I bought into a great
piece of steak if you’re a steak eater
like I am you take that first bite it’s
like complete bliss
right there’s no correlation between how
great that tasted and your lack of
desire for the next bite in fact that
bliss causes you to want more of it and
so the more we can been to a reward
ourselves with bliss we’re not gonna
lose our dissatisfaction we’re not gonna
we’re not gonna lose that and so for me
our brains
there’s dopamine hit you get when you do
something successful if you constantly
cheat yourself out of that it right
biomechanically in your body less and
less in the future where you want to
achieve the next level the next dream
the next step and that’s why so many
people stall out in life
we build habits rituals and disciplines
that serve us okay
the reason my standards are set so high
is because I don’t want to leave it up
to my own devices my standard is one
more minute on the treadmill my standard
is one more person I can reach that day
one more phone call one more something
and so for me I raise them every single
year but the way I get to do it as I
link it to my reasons and so goals are
really empty to me you show me something
with compelling emotional gigantic
reasons I’ll show you someone who’s
changing their standards all day long so
like give you one quick version that you
not heard before one of the reasons I’m
relatively fit is not just peak State I
have an uncle in my family that died at
50 years old of a heart attacks my
godfather my dad’s only brother I kind
of resembled him and I look like him a
lot
so on the way back from his funeral my
reticular activating art attacks on the
TV screen on the airplane I’m listening
to music is the Oprah Winfrey Show she’s
going through a new heart scan I’ve
unplugged my headphones plug into the
airplane one there’s some of this new
scan at cedars-sinai that at that time
was new it could read the plaques and
your arteries the calcifications without
doing you know really invasively I
scheduled it I went in I had a
world-class doctor who understood
reasons and levers instead of just
prescribing ku but will me coach people
you need to do this you need to do this
that doctors do it take this pill take
this
he understood leverage and reasons and
I’m in the law when I walk in I sit down
the doctor comes up and he says oh my I
can’t believe these arteries are in that
young body got my attention we walked
back in we sit down he could still go
you need Crestor eat clean get out of
here is know what an average doctor does
right no wired me with huge reasons he
goes let me ask you a question I heard
your wife’s pregnant you have it I said
yeah I have a son and he says do you
want to be there when he graduates from
high school to be there for that day I
said yes sir
yeah he goes your wife’s pregnant what
do you have it I said a daughter would
you like to walk her down the aisle on
her wedding day are you okay that it’s
some other man
I went what’s on this scan right like
and he goes I want to be very clear with
you if you keep going down the road
you’re going there’ll be some other man
with your son at graduation high school
and a strangers walking your daughter
down the aisle that’s not even born yet
on her wedding day but if you do exactly
what I tell you to do you’ll be there
and so to this day brother there are
mornings when I wake up not every
morning I don’t want to go to the gym I
go Bella’s wedding Bella’s wedding
Bella’s wedding so my standards are high
because of my big old reasons other
dudes may miss the gym that day cuz
they’re not gonna miss their daughter’s
wedding if they don’t go but I’ve
convinced myself on this my daughter’s
wedding so I will get my ass out of bed
at 4 o’clock in the morning and I will
get to that gym because my reasons are
bigger so my standards are higher so
that’s what I think causes us to have
great standards as huge reasons and I
think anytime you meet somebody like
yourself or myself we might now appear
self-confident because I really had to
find tools and resources because I was
so insecure and shy and introverted so I
had to find techniques and resources to
build that up in me and for me it’s very
simple it’s the promises that I keep to
myself if I have a habit over and over
again to stack one on top of the other
of keeping promises I make to me not
other people in other words the minute
you begin to get external in your life
worrying about what other people think
about you right you vote you’ve lost all
control you and it never fills you up
and people’s admiration people’s
gratitude towards you will never fill
you up it’s your own it’s your own
inside and so for me self-confidence
comes from keeping the promises I make
to myself and the other part of it is
being aware I’m doing it in other words
most people don’t give themselves enough
credit all the time they’re very aware
of these 20 percent things and not aware
of the 80 right and that’s why the
dosage is so important – you’ve nailed
it it should be 80/20 right because
people get addicted to this I’m not good
at this people don’t like this about me
I don’t feel good instead of focusing on
the 80 and stacking up wow I did eat
what I said I was going to today I did
get up when I said I was going to I made
the amount of phone calls I treated
people in such a way I promise
it’s not just doing those things it’s
rewarding it’s being aware of it and
stacking that up and all of a sudden
because that’s the messaging I was
giving myself all of a sudden all these
things start to come into my awareness
that I’m grateful for I start to
magnetized to myself some people that I
needed to find into my life and that was
the next layer I started to see things
to be grateful for my health my fitness
people who loved me and what it is it
changed my state when I stacked
gratitude I changed what I did in the
morning and I changed what I did in the
evening and so somehow by grabbing
control of my morning and by grabbing
control of my evening I got some measure
of control over the middle of my day I
was an out of control person back in
those days meaning this I woke up
worried stressed fearful and I
immediately start thinking about a bill
I had to pay something that was wrong
and I’m in a state of reaction to begin
every sound talking within six minutes
of waking up
so identity is the governor on our lives
it’s the invisible force that no one
understands and once they do understand
and get a hold that their life can
change so not only if you don’t get a
hold of this well these outward
conditions of your life keep being
exactly the same but it’s you could
behave differently could do all the work
not you could be thinking great thoughts
but you are going to get out of your
life you’re gonna be the most powerful
force in the world I think is to be
consistent with the concepts ideas and
worth that you hold for yourself you
will get that out of your life what you
will tolerate okay the deeper part of
that is identity and so identity is very
much like a thermostat sitting on a wall
right this is important once that
temperature is set at a certain degree
everything in the world externally can
hit it and you will find a way to get
that temperature so even in this house
let’s say it’s set at 80 degrees if we
opened up all the doors and cold air
just the worst things in life the
blizzard or of life came in the
thermostat will kick the heater on and
it will regulate this room back to 80
degrees the reverse is also true it’s a
super hot day great things are happening
in your life it’s getting hotter and
hotter and hotter if you’re at 80
degrees that internal thermostat will
find a way over a window of time to cool
your life right back down to 80 degrees
again so the key the secret key is to be
able to shift that identity 90 120
average becomes sort of like this slow
asphyxiation it’s almost like an
anesthetic and that overtime would
become kind of immune and dulled to the
average that we’re becoming I know this
is true at least for me you probably
experienced it yourself too
you’re gonna get out of your life what
you’ll accept that’s really difficult
for people I think to understand is look
what you think you’re worth and what
you’re gonna tolerate is absolutely what
you’re gonna bring into your life and
what the outward part of your life is
gonna look like and so I live by that
like I let myself sort of feel the pain
and the difficulty of being not where I
want to be in whatever that areas were
those would be my spirituality my
relationships my money I let myself feel
that paint because as you know there’s
two motivators right there’s the gaining
of pleasure right wanting to go get
something chasing the dream but then
there’s the avoidance of pain and for a
lot of champions that’s a pretty big
driving force for them and so at least
for me I I leveraged both of those
things on me to get myself to take
action so that’s what that means to me
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